February 21, 2019 5:47 pm at 5:47 pm #1683598
its been said that one should compliment their spouse. eg: compliment your wife’s cooking. but why do i find that when i compliment her she often stops doing it?!February 21, 2019 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #1683642
She might not like compliments. Not everyone does.February 21, 2019 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #1683652
Some people quit when they are ahead.
I once baked the perfect challos. My husband went crazy over them, telling me that that are like from Gan Eden. I knew my challos would never be THAT good again – so I quit making challos, because you can’t get better than perfect and any other challos would be “disappointing”.
Some complements mean that the wife archived perfection in this thing. She will stop doing it because she does not want to disappoint with sub-par.February 21, 2019 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #1683653
Maybe she doesn’t like attentionFebruary 21, 2019 8:24 pm at 8:24 pm #1683666
Try complimenting her that you are happy she spent so much money this month, it makes you feel like a king!February 22, 2019 1:37 pm at 1:37 pm #1683814
Or how you love when she argues with you because your blood circulates better when it boilsFebruary 22, 2019 2:19 pm at 2:19 pm #1683832
Maybe u got bad taste and she knows it. So ur compliment is really an insultFebruary 22, 2019 3:28 pm at 3:28 pm #1683866
Even if you do have bad taste but your genuinely happy then the compliment is real. What if she’s ugly and knows you have bad taste but you love her and married her because thats your type would she feel bad about that?February 27, 2019 7:16 pm at 7:16 pm #1687254
Writer whats your point?
A lady who isnt very pretty will assume that her husband doesnt have good taste becasue he chose to marry her?February 27, 2019 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #1687274
“….Its been said that one should compliment their spouse …” (spouse=wife based on cooking reference)
Said by whom??? Reb Yosef, resident posek and troll here in the CR, brings down from chazal several times a week why wives should be at home in the kitchen dressed in in at least a hijab taking care of their children, having more children and serving their husband’s whims…..to complement them would risk diverting their attention from their primary focus in life which is to make the husband happyFebruary 27, 2019 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm #1687283
Lucy-“Writer whats your point?
A lady who isnt very pretty will assume that her husband doesnt have good taste becasue he chose to marry her?”
No quite the contrary. I was responding to someone who wrote “Maybe u got bad taste and she knows it. So ur compliment is really an insult”
So I’m saying what’s the difference If she thinks the guy has bad taste in any matter? If her husband compliments her cooking, and loves her why would she take it as an insult even if she thinks her husband has bad taste? True maybe someone who has good taste will dislike her cooking(assuming it isn’t very good), but she married her husband and his opinion should mean the world to her. And other way around as well. His wife is the only woman who should matter to him.
So why be insulted by a genuine compliment?February 27, 2019 9:14 pm at 9:14 pm #1687279
Re: Good taste/bad taste
Taste is so subjective. Years ago, a columnist in the Jewish Press wrote about a lady who knew a learning kollel bochur who would only date a girl whom he described as ” drop-dead gorgeous.” He was very adamant about that from the get-go.
Well, this lady came across a girl who was not especiall pretty but she felt with all her heart that the girl would be an exceptional fit for this bochur…. How to talk her up?..
She decided to tell him that she knows a pretty girl, etc.etc.. but omitted ” drop dead gorgeous” as a description and praying that the boy wouldn’t ask.
Luckily, he didn’t… Probably knowing that this lady would never set him up with anybody less.
On the morrow of the 1st date the boy calls her and here’s a paraphrase of his very first words:
…… Why didn’t you tell me that she’s drop-dead gorgeous?
She’s the most beautiful girl I ever dated?…
That’s right… They married and as far as we hope, are living happily ever after.
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