May 2, 2017 11:50 am at 11:50 am #1267815
I was wondering if anyone knew the source of the custom of throwing confetti at the chosson after the badekin?May 2, 2017 12:59 pm at 12:59 pm #1267855
I don’t assume that there is one.May 2, 2017 1:15 pm at 1:15 pm #1267866
There is a Minhag by some Chasidim to throw what I believe is tea leaves at the Choson by the Badekin. I’ve seen thos mostly by Satmar & other Hugarian Chasidim. I dont know the origins of it.
As to confetti, there is no origin to that. It probably started when they forgot to bring the tea leaves so they took the confetti away from the kids & threw that insteadMay 2, 2017 1:16 pm at 1:16 pm #1267857
I never saw this in thousands of chasunas I’ve been to.
The source is confetti manafacturers.May 2, 2017 1:16 pm at 1:16 pm #1267858NechomahParticipant
I have been at many chassanahs where they do throw “confetti” on the chosson at the badeken. I was told that the original version was to throw wheat kernels as a symbol of fertility. Later that got mixed with confetti and possibly due to issues with chometz (famous story with R’ Shmuel Salant and the wheat in the soup on Pesach) many people do not use the wheat anymore and just throw the confetti. I see this less and less these days. it does make a mess on everybody.May 2, 2017 1:18 pm at 1:18 pm #1267872
There probably is one, though it might not be a Jewish one. Jews and non-Jews have been throwing things like confetti at weddings for a long time.May 2, 2017 1:23 pm at 1:23 pm #1267882
I wonder if it has non Jewish origins? Because I know there is a custom to throw rice at the bride and groom and maybe it somehow morphed into confetti. I never heard of throwing tea leaves, but maybe it also morphed into confetti.May 2, 2017 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm #1268794LightbriteParticipant
If you work at an office that punches a lot of holes in paper = Free confetti! 🙂May 2, 2017 9:16 pm at 9:16 pm #1268817ExcellenceParticipant
There is no custom. Never seen one.
Sounds like a church custom to me. They throw rice. And drink a lot of booze too…
I suggest you read Geder Olam by the Chofetz Chaim. It’s a small book. One part is proper conduct in a Jewish wedding — and the severe punishment awaiting anyone who does mixed dancing, watches it, even with your wife.May 3, 2017 11:09 am at 11:09 am #1269099lost my sparkleParticipant
I have been at a wedding where they threw confetti and it got into the eye of the kallah. She spent her whole wedding in the emergency room! coming back just for the mitzvah tanz. It’s a very irresponsible thing to throw.May 3, 2017 1:38 pm at 1:38 pm #1269234WinnieThePoohParticipant
Origin is probably the same as such accepted customs as holding up colorful arches for the Kalla to walk thru as she enters the hall for the first dance, raising the chosson (sometimes also kalla) up on a chair, etc. People think it is fun and adds to the simcha.
Note, while Lost my sparkle’s story might be an extreme example of what can go wrong with confetti, it can also be dangerous because it makes the dance hall slippery. Not to mention how annoying it is to remove it from the Kalla’s dress.May 3, 2017 1:38 pm at 1:38 pm #1269235
Jews have been throwing confetti-like things for a long time.May 3, 2017 2:38 pm at 2:38 pm #1269256
The reason I asked is that my daughter recently got married and her mother-in-law insisted on throwing confetti. I told her that I thought it was a custom rooted in the non Jewish tradition of throwing rice. She insisted that it was a Jewish custom and I wondered who was right. If there is no Jewish source, then I am right! Thanks everyone for confirming.May 3, 2017 2:45 pm at 2:45 pm #1269263
I don’t think nobody who comments in the CR providing a source is considered confirmation.May 3, 2017 2:58 pm at 2:58 pm #1269269
Why don’t you ask a posek?
That said, it’s nothing Jewish about it.May 3, 2017 2:58 pm at 2:58 pm #1269270GoLearnTorahParticipant
Not to mention that sometimes friends bringing the confetti don’t realize that the family will be charged extra fees for the mess. I have seen after weddings that the families start sweeping the floor so that they don’t get charged extra.May 4, 2017 8:57 am at 8:57 am #1269738lost my sparkleParticipant
referring to the post from rOx, true, at my daughter’s wedding to an Israeli, her mother in law was shocked that we don’t throw some confetti at the kallah. So there must be an inyun to this.May 4, 2017 10:49 am at 10:49 am #1269870
I happen to be a wedding photographer. I have shot over 3000 weddings. As I said earlier, I dont know where the minhag comes from, but most Hungarian based Chasidim like Satmar do throw something at the Badekin. It’s not confetti. I think it’s tea leaves. So dont just say that theres no such minhag.May 4, 2017 1:09 pm at 1:09 pm #1269947
lost my sparkle,
“mother in law was shocked” ≠ “there must be an inyun to this”May 7, 2017 12:26 pm at 12:26 pm #1270881
So for all of you who say that there is no Jewish source for such a minhag, I went looking to find where it comes from.
Actually the first place it talks about throwing things at a Choson & kallah at their wedding is a Gemara in Brachos Daf Nun amud Beis. See also the bottom Tosfos where he talks about it being the Minhag in his time.
To see more about this, take a look in the sefer Minhag Yisroel Torah on Nisuim where he quotes other Rishonim who talk about throwing wheat or other foods at a Choson Kallah by their wedding as a Siman BerachaMay 7, 2017 1:04 pm at 1:04 pm #1270889
105 -thanks for taking the time and effort to look up and bring the sources! That is so nice of you!May 7, 2017 1:04 pm at 1:04 pm #1270888
Wow, there is a Mod 105!!! I always assumed they didn’t go above 100. You mean to say that Mod 100 is not the oldest moderator!?
Why are all of these moderators suddenly coming out of the woodwork and revealing there names?May 7, 2017 1:31 pm at 1:31 pm #1270901
Why is confetti included in that? How is it a siman brachah?May 7, 2017 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #1271054mw13Participant
I didn’t know there as a mod-105 either… I would say welcome to the CR, but it’s kinda like welcoming a customer welcoming a new sales rep to their own store.
Throwing confetti is a pretty standard way of celebrating. Not sure if that needs to be called a minhag.
Is dancing by a chasunah a minhag that needs a source? Or just a standard way of celebrating things?May 7, 2017 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #1271064
Dancing at a wedding is brought in Chazal.May 7, 2017 3:56 pm at 3:56 pm #1271134a maminParticipant
Moderator 105: So nice of you to look into this, when so many ppl here are ignorant to any minhag they never heard of? Closed mindedness i guess?May 7, 2017 5:20 pm at 5:20 pm #1271256
” I would say welcome to the CR, but it’s kinda like welcoming a customer welcoming a new sales rep to their own store.”
The reason I didn’t say “welcome to the CR” is that he/she might be actually have been here for a long time. Most of the moderators don’t seem to give their names/numbers.May 7, 2017 5:20 pm at 5:20 pm #1271258
A mamin – I don’t think it was closed-mindedness in this case. I only skimmed through this thread, but my impression was that many of the posters had never heard of the minhag and didn’t know if there was a source for it.
“when so many ppl here are ignorant to any minhag they never heard of?”
Most people are ignorant of things that they never heard of. That doesn’t make them close-minded.May 7, 2017 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm #1271265
Moderator 105: So nice of you to look into this, when so many ppl here are ignorant to any minhag they never heard of? Closed mindedness i guess?
No one has yet to bring a source for confetti.May 7, 2017 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm #1271288LightbriteParticipant
What’s the source for wedding cakes?
Do traditional Jewish weddings have tiered wedding cakes? I don’t even remember eating cake at my friend’s wedding. We were took busy dancing in circles celebrating the simcha 🙂May 7, 2017 8:23 pm at 8:23 pm #1271306
I’ve never seen a wedding cake at a Jewish weddingMay 7, 2017 8:23 pm at 8:23 pm #1271307
I’m ignorant of everything I’ve never heard of, and I’m not ashamed to say it.May 7, 2017 8:28 pm at 8:28 pm #1271310
How is it even possible to be knowledgeable about things you never heard of?May 7, 2017 8:31 pm at 8:31 pm #1271312
There is no source or minhag for wedding cakes.
It’s like confetti.May 7, 2017 8:33 pm at 8:33 pm #1271315
Thank you so much YW Moderator-105! I was unable to find any sources and I will be sure to look it up.
lightbrite: I have never seen a tiered wedding cake at a chassidish, yeshivish or mo chasunah, but I have seen them at Sheva Brochos. That does not mean it isn’t done, just that I have not seen it.
mw13: As I said, my daughter’s MIL was positive that throwing confetti is a Jewish custom and I just wanted to know if anyone had ever of it as such. As for dancing, I believe Dovid Hamelech danced when he brought the Aron to Yerushalayim, so there is definitely a source for it.May 7, 2017 9:03 pm at 9:03 pm #1271341
That was precisely the point!May 7, 2017 9:03 pm at 9:03 pm #1271342
my guess is that there may have been a typo there.May 8, 2017 10:18 am at 10:18 am #1271633NechomahParticipant
I posted the following up near the top, back on 5/2, mentioning the issue of throwing wheat. I obviously made a mistake by saying a symbol of fertility, as siman bracha makes much more sense. I think the whole thing got combined with goyish customs as far as combining the wheat kernels with confetti and then finally leaving out the wheat altogether (though I have still done that at a few chassanahs in the last 10 years) possibly due to issues with chometz in the chosson’s streimel, as I mentioned in my original post. Thus, I do not believe that there is a mekor for throwing confetti, but it did start out as something Jewish that morphed into doing something stam/goyish.
“I have been at many chassanahs where they do throw “confetti” on the chosson at the badeken. I was told that the original version was to throw wheat kernels as a symbol of fertility. Later that got mixed with confetti and possibly due to issues with chometz (famous story with R’ Shmuel Salant and the wheat in the soup on Pesach) many people do not use the wheat anymore and just throw the confetti. I see this less and less these days. it does make a mess on everybody.”May 8, 2017 10:26 am at 10:26 am #1271636
I think the whole thing got combined with goyish customs as far as combining the wheat kernels with confetti and then finally leaving out the wheat altogether
That’s what I suspect happened as well.
Unless someone can show me a source in the seforim for throwing shredded colored paper, I remain skeptical.
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