Confetti at Weddings 🎊🤵

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  • #1267815
    r0x
    Participant

    I was wondering if anyone knew the source of the custom of throwing confetti at the chosson after the badekin?

    #1267855
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I don’t assume that there is one.

    #1267866
    YW Moderator-105
    Participant

    There is a Minhag by some Chasidim to throw what I believe is tea leaves at the Choson by the Badekin. I’ve seen thos mostly by Satmar & other Hugarian Chasidim. I dont know the origins of it.
    As to confetti, there is no origin to that. It probably started when they forgot to bring the tea leaves so they took the confetti away from the kids & threw that instead

    #1267857
    Joseph
    Participant

    I never saw this in thousands of chasunas I’ve been to.

    The source is confetti manafacturers.

    #1267858
    Nechomah
    Participant

    I have been at many chassanahs where they do throw “confetti” on the chosson at the badeken. I was told that the original version was to throw wheat kernels as a symbol of fertility. Later that got mixed with confetti and possibly due to issues with chometz (famous story with R’ Shmuel Salant and the wheat in the soup on Pesach) many people do not use the wheat anymore and just throw the confetti. I see this less and less these days. it does make a mess on everybody.

    #1267872
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    There probably is one, though it might not be a Jewish one. Jews and non-Jews have been throwing things like confetti at weddings for a long time.

    #1267882
    r0x
    Participant

    I wonder if it has non Jewish origins? Because I know there is a custom to throw rice at the bride and groom and maybe it somehow morphed into confetti. I never heard of throwing tea leaves, but maybe it also morphed into confetti.

    #1268794
    Lightbrite
    Participant

    If you work at an office that punches a lot of holes in paper = Free confetti! 🙂

    #1268817
    Excellence
    Participant

    There is no custom. Never seen one.

    Sounds like a church custom to me. They throw rice. And drink a lot of booze too…

    I suggest you read Geder Olam by the Chofetz Chaim. It’s a small book. One part is proper conduct in a Jewish wedding — and the severe punishment awaiting anyone who does mixed dancing, watches it, even with your wife.

    #1269099
    lost my sparkle
    Participant

    I have been at a wedding where they threw confetti and it got into the eye of the kallah. She spent her whole wedding in the emergency room! coming back just for the mitzvah tanz. It’s a very irresponsible thing to throw.

    #1269234
    WinnieThePooh
    Participant

    Origin is probably the same as such accepted customs as holding up colorful arches for the Kalla to walk thru as she enters the hall for the first dance, raising the chosson (sometimes also kalla) up on a chair, etc. People think it is fun and adds to the simcha.
    Note, while Lost my sparkle’s story might be an extreme example of what can go wrong with confetti, it can also be dangerous because it makes the dance hall slippery. Not to mention how annoying it is to remove it from the Kalla’s dress.

    #1269235
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Jews have been throwing confetti-like things for a long time.

    #1269256
    r0x
    Participant

    The reason I asked is that my daughter recently got married and her mother-in-law insisted on throwing confetti. I told her that I thought it was a custom rooted in the non Jewish tradition of throwing rice. She insisted that it was a Jewish custom and I wondered who was right. If there is no Jewish source, then I am right! Thanks everyone for confirming.

    #1269263
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I don’t think nobody who comments in the CR providing a source is considered confirmation.

    #1269269
    Joseph
    Participant

    Why don’t you ask a posek?

    That said, it’s nothing Jewish about it.

    #1269270
    GoLearnTorah
    Participant

    Not to mention that sometimes friends bringing the confetti don’t realize that the family will be charged extra fees for the mess. I have seen after weddings that the families start sweeping the floor so that they don’t get charged extra.

    #1269738
    lost my sparkle
    Participant

    referring to the post from rOx, true, at my daughter’s wedding to an Israeli, her mother in law was shocked that we don’t throw some confetti at the kallah. So there must be an inyun to this.

    #1269870
    YW Moderator-105
    Participant

    I happen to be a wedding photographer. I have shot over 3000 weddings. As I said earlier, I dont know where the minhag comes from, but most Hungarian based Chasidim like Satmar do throw something at the Badekin. It’s not confetti. I think it’s tea leaves. So dont just say that theres no such minhag.

    #1269947
    Meno
    Participant

    lost my sparkle,

    “mother in law was shocked” ≠ “there must be an inyun to this”

    #1270881
    YW Moderator-105
    Participant

    So for all of you who say that there is no Jewish source for such a minhag, I went looking to find where it comes from.
    Actually the first place it talks about throwing things at a Choson & kallah at their wedding is a Gemara in Brachos Daf Nun amud Beis. See also the bottom Tosfos where he talks about it being the Minhag in his time.
    To see more about this, take a look in the sefer Minhag Yisroel Torah on Nisuim where he quotes other Rishonim who talk about throwing wheat or other foods at a Choson Kallah by their wedding as a Siman Beracha

    #1270889
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    105 -thanks for taking the time and effort to look up and bring the sources! That is so nice of you!

    #1270888
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Wow, there is a Mod 105!!! I always assumed they didn’t go above 100. You mean to say that Mod 100 is not the oldest moderator!?

    Why are all of these moderators suddenly coming out of the woodwork and revealing there names?

    #1270901
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Why is confetti included in that? How is it a siman brachah?

    #1271054
    mw13
    Participant

    I didn’t know there as a mod-105 either… I would say welcome to the CR, but it’s kinda like welcoming a customer welcoming a new sales rep to their own store.

    Throwing confetti is a pretty standard way of celebrating. Not sure if that needs to be called a minhag.

    Is dancing by a chasunah a minhag that needs a source? Or just a standard way of celebrating things?

    #1271064
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Dancing at a wedding is brought in Chazal.

    #1271134
    a mamin
    Participant

    Moderator 105: So nice of you to look into this, when so many ppl here are ignorant to any minhag they never heard of? Closed mindedness i guess?

    #1271256
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    ” I would say welcome to the CR, but it’s kinda like welcoming a customer welcoming a new sales rep to their own store.”

    The reason I didn’t say “welcome to the CR” is that he/she might be actually have been here for a long time. Most of the moderators don’t seem to give their names/numbers.

    #1271258
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    A mamin – I don’t think it was closed-mindedness in this case. I only skimmed through this thread, but my impression was that many of the posters had never heard of the minhag and didn’t know if there was a source for it.

    “when so many ppl here are ignorant to any minhag they never heard of?”

    Most people are ignorant of things that they never heard of. That doesn’t make them close-minded.

    #1271265
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Moderator 105: So nice of you to look into this, when so many ppl here are ignorant to any minhag they never heard of? Closed mindedness i guess?

    No one has yet to bring a source for confetti.

    #1271288
    Lightbrite
    Participant

    What’s the source for wedding cakes?

    Do traditional Jewish weddings have tiered wedding cakes? I don’t even remember eating cake at my friend’s wedding. We were took busy dancing in circles celebrating the simcha 🙂

    #1271306
    Meno
    Participant

    I’ve never seen a wedding cake at a Jewish wedding

    #1271307
    Meno
    Participant

    I’m ignorant of everything I’ve never heard of, and I’m not ashamed to say it.

    #1271310
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    How is it even possible to be knowledgeable about things you never heard of?

    #1271312
    Joseph
    Participant

    There is no source or minhag for wedding cakes.

    It’s like confetti.

    #1271315
    r0x
    Participant

    Thank you so much YW Moderator-105! I was unable to find any sources and I will be sure to look it up.

    lightbrite: I have never seen a tiered wedding cake at a chassidish, yeshivish or mo chasunah, but I have seen them at Sheva Brochos. That does not mean it isn’t done, just that I have not seen it.

    mw13: As I said, my daughter’s MIL was positive that throwing confetti is a Jewish custom and I just wanted to know if anyone had ever of it as such. As for dancing, I believe Dovid Hamelech danced when he brought the Aron to Yerushalayim, so there is definitely a source for it.

    #1271341
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    : )

    That was precisely the point!

    #1271342
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    my guess is that there may have been a typo there.

    #1271633
    Nechomah
    Participant

    I posted the following up near the top, back on 5/2, mentioning the issue of throwing wheat. I obviously made a mistake by saying a symbol of fertility, as siman bracha makes much more sense. I think the whole thing got combined with goyish customs as far as combining the wheat kernels with confetti and then finally leaving out the wheat altogether (though I have still done that at a few chassanahs in the last 10 years) possibly due to issues with chometz in the chosson’s streimel, as I mentioned in my original post. Thus, I do not believe that there is a mekor for throwing confetti, but it did start out as something Jewish that morphed into doing something stam/goyish.

    “I have been at many chassanahs where they do throw “confetti” on the chosson at the badeken. I was told that the original version was to throw wheat kernels as a symbol of fertility. Later that got mixed with confetti and possibly due to issues with chometz (famous story with R’ Shmuel Salant and the wheat in the soup on Pesach) many people do not use the wheat anymore and just throw the confetti. I see this less and less these days. it does make a mess on everybody.”

    #1271636
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    I think the whole thing got combined with goyish customs as far as combining the wheat kernels with confetti and then finally leaving out the wheat altogether

    That’s what I suspect happened as well.

    Unless someone can show me a source in the seforim for throwing shredded colored paper, I remain skeptical.

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