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Were any hard questions allowed to get through the moderators this year?
I thought there was one but it was ignored.
The question was (paraphrasing) “Given that so much emphasis in our community is placed on getting married/building a family, how can older single women be given a sense of belonging”
To be clear the question was a two part question the first part was on the shidduch crises, the second part was the above the answered the first part not the second. I’m not suggesting that it was an intentional omission/bypass
So no word on ankle socks?
ubiq: What would be YOUR answer/solution to that unanswered question you quoted?
Why ask a question which is a pasuk?
Hashem says to the serisim and the akarah that if they keep shabbos, they will have a yad veshem in My house.
The question sounds like it’s implying that we should change hashkofa to suit singles.
Maybe change the singles instead?
ujm
“ubiq: What would be YOUR answer/solution to that unanswered question you quoted?”
I’m not sure that’s why its a hard question.. The rest of the questions I could have answered thats why I didnt list them as hard ones
Avira
“Why ask a question which is a pasuk? Hashem says to the serisim and the akarah that if they keep shabbos, they will have a yad veshem in My house.”
Its absolutely fantastic that you feel accomplished by keeping Shabbos. that is great and we are all very proud of you, and impressed by your tzidkus
Sadly some people arent on your high level, or they take keeping shabbos as a given, or they are content with the yad vashem they will leave, but feel like they are not appreciated NOW .“The question sounds like it’s implying that we should change hashkofa to suit singles.”
maybe that’s the answer (see why its hard). That wasn’t the way I understood it at all
Avirah but clearly there are a lot of Singles out there for different reasons who struggle because they don’t feel like they have their place in Klal Yisroel like married people do. What do you tell someone who goes on dates connects with shadchanim and does all the hishtadlus and yet Friday night and YT they are lonely and don’t have shabbos and YT in the same way? Change singles is a very simplistic answer to an issue that is complex.
everyone knows the questions, look around u will see the struggles no one with sechel thinks that the gedolim have the answers or power to change .. hashem has not granted them that level of ruach hakodesh & they themselves say it often …rather the questions are asked to shed some light and a bit of direction ad sheyovoh eliyahu
go over to any big rosh yeshiva and ask him … he will say zorich iyun godol… i can answer for a yochid what you should try to do in your situation but i dont have the power to make major changesThe GOP convention?
Dear Meir,
Leadership and fatalist thinking ido not go hand in hand. Did you actually get such a response? That’s not what they say to me.
1 – i know plenty of singles who are never alone for shabbos/YT. I’ve heard of it as an issue, but there are people who invite guests…i don’t really understand it.
In Yeshiva we had some old singles, who either worked half of the day or were in Yeshiva full time. They were far from alone.
A single man can join a learning program or get himself involved in community activities. Isolation isn’t really an issue that needs to be a hardship in the frum community.
I don’t know how many family people feel “appreciated” either – as a teacher, i feel extremely unappreciated, or rather i would if i let others’ opinions determine my self esteem
Dear Avira,
Is it possible that sometimes people have experiences or information that you are not aware of?
Avira
appreciation takes different formsI didn’t understand the question so much as referring to the being alone part (perhaps I misunderstood it). More to the self value. As you mentioned “A single man can join a learning program or get himself involved in community activities” While no doubt hard, a single man can earn a name for himself as the baal koreh, he can give a shiur, daven, get a “position” as a gabai. There are a lot of ways to “make a name for himself” of course not everybody is capable of those, these are but a few examples. my point is there are more ways readily available to contribute to the community for men than there are for women
Though the being alone part too is a little easier for men since by going to shul/shiurim they can develop a community, which of course lends itself to meals
Disabled Yidden also struggle with be given a sense of belonging. So do mentally ill Yidden. Unmarried Yidden aren’t allowed to daven for the Amud on the Yomin Noraim and have other Halachic restrictions. The fix for the unmarried is to find them shidduchim. The fix for the other aforementioned Yidden with this issue are more difficult to help.
Nomesorah – sure, which is why i said I don’t understand it. My first reaction is that i know some singles who develop social anxiety in their late 20s and 30s, avoid gatherings, and find making relationships difficult. This is anecdotal.
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