Cousins at Chanukah Party
- This topic has 66 replies, 36 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by 147.
December 20, 2011 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #910969
Soleik, what about “al tarbe sicha im ha’isha”?
Passfan, S.A. says it causes ze’nus. The reason is obvious. If the young man’s wife looks like an old lady, or a young woman’s husband is not physically fit, but rather is old-looking and frail, it could lead to problems, c^v.December 20, 2011 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #910970passfanMember
mdd, that could be the case with humongeous difference in age. But a 50 year old guy with a 22 year old wife (as the Chasam Sofer married) has been quite common in our history and isn’t the large discrepancy the s”a refers to.December 20, 2011 6:45 pm at 6:45 pm #910971zahavasdadParticipant
Just because something was done in the past, doesnt mean it should be done now
In the past a 13 year old boy could marry a 12 year old girl.
And I met about 15 years ago a woman from somewhere in the former soviet union who told us she was married at 15 1/2 (She was married in her country at 15 1/2, She came here after it was legal)December 20, 2011 6:49 pm at 6:49 pm #910972ED IT ORParticipant
personally I think the post’r is asking whether its right to make the party?
in which case u should know these things only become an issue if YOU make them one
happy chanukah to allDecember 20, 2011 6:51 pm at 6:51 pm #910973
There is nothing wrong with an early marriage, if the spouses are mature enough. In parts of the former Soviet Union, it was legal for 16 year-old girls to get married without parental concent. In this country, people mature later.December 20, 2011 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #910974passfanMember
The Ribnitzer Rov, in America about 30 years ago, married a 20-something year old girl when he was in his 60’s.December 20, 2011 7:00 pm at 7:00 pm #910975
Passfan, that’s, for sure, not according to S.A. There are those that have proposed a heter, but it is not poshut. According to the S.A., a 60-year old may not marry a 20-year old.December 20, 2011 7:28 pm at 7:28 pm #910976soliekMember
“Soleik, what about “al tarbe sicha im ha’isha”?
ill take my chancesDecember 20, 2011 7:35 pm at 7:35 pm #910977
Soleik, divrei Chazal are divrei Chazal, and the gidrei Tznius they established are bindind on us.December 20, 2011 7:38 pm at 7:38 pm #910978mewhoParticipant
i have a question. i thought that medically it is not a good thing to have a very similar gene pool for husband and wife.
yet when i hear about some of the weddings in the Jewish community i read of so and so ‘s grandson marrying so and so who is the grand niece of that very same rabbi.
why would that be permitted from a medical point of view?December 20, 2011 7:44 pm at 7:44 pm #910979soliekMember
mdd: when the rest of my family stops talking to their female cousins ill think about it. ive never seen any breaches in tznius between any of them.December 20, 2011 8:13 pm at 8:13 pm #910980
Violating “al tarbe” is a tznius breach in and by itself. To talk to cousins there might be room to be more lenient. Look in Gittin 90A on the bottom.December 20, 2011 8:14 pm at 8:14 pm #910981ED IT ORParticipant
mewho, yes medical issues are a problem but I dint think the Torah talks in halacha about medical issues and the halochos of ervoh are quite clearDecember 21, 2011 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #910982ToiParticipant
“have fun at your chanukah party and all works out in the end”
probably the dumbest thing i ever heard.
op- they wanna shmooze (or at least the guys) for bad bad reasons. so its bad.December 21, 2011 4:05 pm at 4:05 pm #910983mytakeMember
In answer to your original question (I’m guessing you want my opinion, not a psak halacha, otherwise you would have asked your Rav), I think it’s okay to make the party. But teenage cousins of the opposite gender should not shmooze. My opinion.December 27, 2011 3:47 pm at 3:47 pm #910984yentingyentaParticipant
i went to a chanuka party last night, and YES i spoke to my male cousins. is there a problem with that?December 7, 2012 4:01 am at 4:01 am #910985147Participant
No problem whatsoever. ….. Let your grandparents enjoy Nachas from having all their grandchildren gather together, and please gather again with all your cousins on Seder nite to give Nachas to your grandparents, and how about having a Shovu’os nite program altogether, so that your grandparents can have Nachas from having all the grandchildren learning together overnight with cheesecake.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.