cousins marrying each other

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee cousins marrying each other

Viewing 44 posts - 1 through 44 (of 44 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #595162

    isnt it weird??

    #742622

    deiyezooger
    Member

    if it’s bashert? no. then it’s not at all.

    #742623

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    We’re all cousins if you go back far enough.

    The Wolf

    #742624

    real-brisker
    Member

    So?

    #742626

    wolf wow you are so smart that was a really funny post

    I KNOW WE ARE ALL COUSINS IF YOU GO BACK 5000 YEARS.

    im talking abt cousins in the year 2011

    #742627

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    im talking abt cousins in the year 2011

    In the year 2011, I am cousins with just about everyone on earth.

    The Wolf

    #742628

    deiyezooger
    Member

    why not?

    #742629

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Nonetheless, if it’s halachically permitted and legal in the jurisdiction where the couple live, why is it any business of yours? If you think it’s weird, don’t marry a cousin.

    The Wolf

    #742630

    aries2756
    Participant

    Medically it is not recommended.

    #742631

    commonsense
    Participant

    not necessarily weird because not all cousins know each other well, but not very smart because of inter breeding.

    #742632

    charliehall
    Participant

    Why is it weird? Judaism has always permitted first cousins to marry. So do most western nations (but not most US states).

    #742633

    deiyezooger
    Member

    Medically it is not recommended.

    i agree.

    #742634

    Tums
    Member

    So you go have your marriage ceremony in a state that allows it. We never allow secular law to interfere with who we marry. Especially since it is so easy to get around.

    #742635

    farrockgrandma
    Participant

    There are some in my own family (older generation) who married first cousins. There have also been times in the past, such as communities of conversos (hidden Jews) where cousins married to stay Jewish. What’s wrong with it?

    #742636

    wolfish i am talkin primarily abt first cousins

    second thirs and fourth are also a topic of discussion

    405 COUSINS OBVIOUSLY ARENT PROBLEMS BECAUSE IF THEY WERE NOBODY WOULD BE ABLE TO ET MARRIED

    If you think it’s weird, don’t marry a cousin.

    WHAT A CONVERSATION KILLER

    #742637

    oomis
    Participant

    It is not assur, and it is only contraindicated medically if there is a negative family history in the genes that could get passed on. I personally do not recommend it, but don’t chassidic “royals” do this often?

    #742638

    smartcookie
    Member

    My cousin married his neice. Now THAT was weird!

    #742639

    Tums
    Member

    smartcookie: How old were they?

    #742640

    Jam
    Participant

    Its a mitzvah for a man to marry his neice.

    #742641

    smartcookie
    Member

    Tums- about 19. It was very interesting.

    The Wedding consisted of only one side! One family of Mechatunim! The kallah grew up with her new family and didn’t have to get to know them!

    How boring!

    I personally cannot understand wht happens if such a marriage doesn’t work out Chas Vsholom.

    #742642

    Tums
    Member

    smartcookie: You never start or base a marriage on what if it doesn’t work out.

    #742643

    smartcookie
    Member

    Tums- nobody based oe started the marriage with those thoughts. It’s just my own thoughts I shared with you! Anyway, If you marry someone THAT close, you gotta think all around it. Of course we only try to stay with positive thoughts (and Tefillos!)

    #742644

    Health
    Participant

    OOmis -“I personally do not recommend it, but don’t chassidic “royals” do this often?”

    Yes they do and sometimes they don’t have normal children, but not always. The Rebbish families only like their own Yichus.

    #742645

    yossi z.
    Member

    Not only chassideshe “royals” but all royals inter-bred (look at english royal history specifically)

    Uncles marrying nieces, as strange as it may seem is/was actually encouraged by the mishna and halacha (bas gilo)

    Medically speaking, as was pointed out, if nothing shows up to be a problem then why not? True you may be narrowing the gene pool so it wouldn’t be recommended for everyone to be running around rampant marrying their first cousins but I don’t see it as an issue

    On the other hand if it is a cousin one knows so yeah it may seem awkward (someone tried setting me up with a second cousin of mine and well let us just say that I am happy she never heard about it (when I was in high school I used to be by their house almost all the time)

    😀 Zuberman! 😀

    #742646

    Tums
    Member

    Go for it yossi. She may be your bashert!

    #742647

    yossi z.
    Member

    Yeeah .. I don’t know about that. Nothing against her or anything, I just don’t know if it would be a good match (I am a working boy (which I don’t know if that would be an issue or not and I would feel uncomfortable bringing up even as a theoretical case what she/her parents think of working boys) and there is too much I don’t know-gee I seem to be getting set up by people who set up by personality and not enough info-yeah its happened before) and if she knew that the shidduch was suggested, well it would make things on the awkward side whenever we saw each other (baruch Hashem there have been many happy occasions at which we bump into each other)

    Unless you have suggestion(s) as to other ways of going about things? Not that I would bedavka want to look into it as a shidduch, I just would have no issue if you had a (better) idea of how to do things

    😀 Zuberman! 😀

    #742648

    popcorn
    Member

    I know of at least 4 married couples in my community that are

    first cousins….and if I think long enough I’m sure I can come up with more. Also, many Chassidic Rebbe families married

    first cousins, nieces, nephews etc.

    #742649

    Ofcourse
    Member

    I happen to know of Chassidic first cousins who got married and got divorced very quickly. It happened within the last few years. Must be terrible for the parents.

    #742650

    Poster
    Member

    Bobover rebbe’s son married his first cousin. You have to understand that by the chassidim there is no chit chat boys and girls even cousins. So it’s not so wierd. They dont know eachother. It’s not like cousins get together for chanukah parties and have male and female shmoozes. ALL simchas and get togethers have mechitzas.

    #742651

    hudi
    Participant

    I don’t think this was so unheard of in sepharadi countries…it was halachically acceptable, and they were never told anything was wrong with it. They also didn’t know anything about the genetic dangers of inbreeding.

    #742652

    BS”D

    Now with Dor Yeshorim it is safer and I think it is really because of American culture that it seems unusual. Still, more than once every couple of generations is looking for problems that won’t necessarily show up on DY.

    Lehavdil, Saddam Hussein YMS was born to a very inbred family, and he married a cousin. His sons YMS made him look like a tzaddik.

    #742653

    oomis
    Participant

    We forget that just as inbreeding can produce “damaged” children, it can likewise produce outstandingly brilliant, artisitic, talented children. the question is which genes are being selectively bred. If you have, i.e., two children from a family who each carry recessive genes for hemophilia, the chances are very strong that they will produce children WITH hemophelia (50% chance each pregnancy, 25% chance of the child being a carrier, and 25% chance of no defective gene being found). Genetic counseling would be strongly in order here.

    #742654

    My Cousin and i made a deal that we aren’t ever getting married when we were younger.

    it was actually quite funny.

    #742655

    Tums
    Member

    My Cousin and i made a deal that we aren’t ever getting married when we were younger.

    Why would either of you want to never get married?

    #742656

    charliehall
    Participant

    “We never allow secular law to interfere with who we marry.”

    Yes, we do!

    We don’t allow two 13 year olds to marry in the US.

    Nor do we allow an uncle and niece to marry in New York.

    Both of those are illegal. And the person who performs such a wedding ceremony can be prosecuted and imprisoned. Furthermore, the 13 year olds can be prosecuted for rape.

    #742657

    eman
    Participant

    I just redd a shiduch between 2 24 year old 3rd cousins which was rejected for that reason.

    #742658

    yossi z.
    Member

    3rd cousins? First cousins I could hear, second cousins ok but third cousins? Isn’t that a bit far removed?

    😀 Zuberman! 😀

    #742659

    to each other.

    duh.

    coulda sworn that was in there

    #742660

    oomis
    Participant

    THIRD cousins are considered quite distant in the gene pool. I once very much wanted to someday marry my mother’s first cousin’s son (making him my second cousin). I was too young then to even be considering marriage, and he was aabout four years older than I and definitely ready to be seriously looking for a shidduch.

    He got married three years later (he lived in E”Y and we faithfully corresponded during that time, but he really was ready to be married, and I was not). He DID consider the possibiity, but his mother O”H, whom I loved dearly and who loved me, felt it would not be wise, because there were children in the family who were not well, and who were the result of a marriage betwen distant cousins. So we went our separate ways, he married a wonderful woman, I and married a wonderful man, and I fondly remember those years.

    #742661

    smartcookie
    Member

    My husband and I happen to be third cousins. Whichever professional we asked about any medical issues involved said, third cousins? No problem!

    #742662

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Didn’t Yehuda marry Dina?

    Well, they were siblings. That is much closer than cousins.

    #742663

    MDG
    Participant

    Shimon and Dina, I think. According to the Midrash, Shaul ben haCanaanit came from that union, so did Osnat, Yosef’s wife. Shaul became Zimri (Parashiot Balak and Pinhus).

    #742664

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Yes you are right.

    #742665

    charliehall
    Participant

    “they were siblings. That is much closer than cousins. “

    Marriage of full siblings is prohibited even for non-Jews.

    The gemara in Sanhedrin proves from the case of Avraham and Sarah that marriage of paternal half-siblings is permitted for non-Jews.

Viewing 44 posts - 1 through 44 (of 44 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.