- This topic has 22 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 8 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
are first cousins allowed to marry each other? i thought of an adorable shidduch for people that i know that are cousins but i said it probably wouldnt work since their cousins (1st cousins especially not).
They are allowed to, technically, but it’s terrible genetically. Inbreeding can cause many genetic problems.
Canon law prohibits cousin marriages (though the Church frequently granted dispensations), which is why there are some restrictions under American law (which inherited its marriage law from the canon law of the Church of England which inherited it from the Roman Catholics). Any prohibition would probably not survive a constitutional challenge.
If you are an Ashkenazi and marry another Asheknazi, especially from the same region, you are marrying a cousin. That is one reason why some genetic traits are easily studied among us (Tay Sachs, a certain breast cancer gene, etc.). If you are really into genetics, marry someone with as little common ancestry as possible (preferably someone descended from a convert from a region that had no known Jewish population). Of course that won’t solve the problem that according to our tradition, we have a common ancestor only 4000 years ago (5000 and change if you include goyim) so any human you meet is closely related to you (as opposed to our secular cousins who fervently believe their ancestral ape live hundreds of thousands or millions of years ago).
The Arizal married his cousin and many Chabad rebbeim have done it too.
Personally, I would never.
Pba,
Did you even read the op? Sparkly was asking about first cousins, not 4th or 5th
gofish – I grew up always hearing that if you married cousins your children will come out retarded. When I grew up I met several couples that are cousins and have large families with not a single retarded (mentally challenged) kids. On the contrary, chazal praise marrying within the family. Do a Google search for “Klausenberger Rebbe marrying cousins”. The question was posed to him adding the dangers that the gentile medical field warns against.
Here is a quote of part of his response:
“On the contrary says the Klausenberger Rebbe. There is a mitzva for a person to marry within his family as the Rabbeinu Bachaye says in Parshas Chayei Sara by Yitzchok and Rivka, and the Ibn Ezra says in parshas Shemos by Amram and Yocheved.”
Not that it is necessary, but here is a quote from a goyish website on the subject:
“In modern western society, marrying your cousin is not well accepted, particularly in the United States. Through a combination of old prejudices and present-day conventional wisdom about inherited birth defects, first cousin marriage is seen by many as a little too close for comfort, as well as a bad idea if you want children.
1st cousins are legal to marry in new York,
However it is very clear that generic diseases are more common when cousins marry than not. A perfect example is hemophilia which is genetic, Somehow Queen Victoria of England was a carrier and her children, grand children and great-grandchildren all were carriers. She was also the matriach of many of the European Dynasties of the 19th and 20th centry including Germany and Russia . Czar Nikolai was a grandson and Czarina Alexandra was also a grandaughter of Queen Victoria and they had a son with Hemophilia that likely helped bring down the Romanov Dynasty.
Genetic diseases are also more common among Amish who tend to marry cousins as well
It would be really uncomfortable if they got divorced, much more so than in a regular case.
Or even if the shidduch just doesn’t work out, it will be awkward
Pba,
Did you even read the op? Sparkly was asking about first cousins, not 4th or 5th
Popa’s post seems to have been removed.
There’s no post from PBA here.
In many families, it’s not considered acceptable. Partly this may be because first cousins often grow up considering each other as brothers and sisters.
In a way it may be good that it’s considered unacceptable for first cousins to marry each other. If it were acceptable, then it might become either awkward or unacceptable for them to be too friendly to each other since the y would be like any unrelated boys and girls.
I don’t know so much about the topic, but my guess is that it is only a serious genetic concern if either:
1) there is a lot of in-breeding in the family as opposed to a one-time thing of a cousin marrying another cousin.
2. There is a known history of an inherited condition in the family.
I would guess that if it’s a healthy family and a one-time thing, it’s not likely to be a problem. But that is just a guess.
Fact is that often people marry unrelated people and have a lot of kids with inherited conditions, so the question is if it’s statistically much, much more likely in this case. If it’s only a bit more likely, I wouldn’t think thats a reason not to do it.
Zahavasdad………..
I believe you mean GENETIC diseases, not generic (such as a virus).
I have a close friend whose grandparents were first cousins and great-great grandparents were also first cousins. She and all the females in her generation have toes missing bones. They are also carriers of the Fragile X gene causing autism and mental retardation. All of their children are afflicted with these disorders..some mild and some requiring them to be kept in institutions.
And if you wonder why I have a close friend who is female, we almost married years ago, but when the premarital genetic testing was done the fact that she was a carrier came out and she decided she would not bear children and to remain single. She is a great Tzedakis, caring for assorted afflicted nieces and nephews giving her sisters and brothers-in-law needed respite.
lilmod, boys shouldn’t be too friendly with their first cousin girls (and vice versa) even if they know they won’t be marrying first cousins.
Judaism has a long and rich history of first cousins marrying each other.
Even uncles marrying nieces has a strong tradition in Judaism.
First cousin marriage is permitted in Judaism, in Islam, and under New York State law. Not sure what the issue is.
While first cousins marriage is legal in NY (Its not legal in every state) people today treat it more like incest than something people do
Most people today think of their cousins more like Brother or Sister than a potential mate
Unnamed mod,
Pba,
Did you even read the op? Sparkly was asking about first cousins, not 4th or 5th
Popa’s post seems to have been removed.
There’s no post from PBA here.
Yes there was! He wrote something about first cousins causing birth defects!
(He or a mod might have deleted it)
Lol!
Oops I meant golfer
Sorry pba 🙁
Oops I meant golfer
you may want to try one more time……
Lol
🙁
Gofish
CTLawyer – that’s so sad. Nice to hear about other older singles who are able to lead productive lives instead of acting like their life is a crisis.
From what you wrote though it sounds like the issue was not really about marrying a cousin. This girl chose not to get married at all, so it shows that there was a serious concern about passing on these genes whether or not she married a cousin.
CLEARLY NONE I YOU ARE CHASSIDISH!!!! lol when I read that question I’m like duhhh of course people do it and it’s common and you people…..hahaha it’s so cute how you’re surroundings effect ur ideas
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.