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Why are there sooooooo many good girls out there but no ‘cream of the crop’ boys????? It’s so depressing to see great girls settling for just a ‘good guy’!!! WE ALL WANT THE BEST!!!
Anyone have a good explanantion????????????
Perhaps you need a redefinition of “cream of the crop.”
The Wolf
There are very many cream of the crop bochorim. But where are the good girls??
How do you define “cream of the crop”?
Also, having “the best” isn’t ideal. The ideal level is for a person to have the best spouse FOR THEM.
By definition, only one girl can have the “best” boy, right?
SCREAM OF THE CROP
I appreciate this is important to you but there is no reason to yell (all caps)
There are boys who seem like “cream of the crop” on paper – yichus, smart, tall, handsome, muscular ,etc. but some are so arrogant, and will turn out to be bad husbands. I have seen this with many boys I knew in Yeshiva. I would never want my daughter anywhere near these boys. On the other hand, some boys who some would consider “nerds’ end up being terrific husbands. Look for a boy that will be great husband, not a trophy that you want to impress others with.
I think your question mark key is stuck.
When people want to settle, they will settle; This being picky is just the Yetzer HoRo disguising itself with excuses.
The explanation is really very simple. You are putting the cart before the horse:
The mediocre boy BECOMES the cream of crop by marrying the BEST girl.
I know, I know, that’s not fair, but it is the SYSTEM, so best just deal with it and not make waves.
Sorry, but them is the rules.
one of my professors used to not give 100s and said the reason is because only G-D is perfect
bpt – speaking of shidduch rules, are there any other hygiene issues that I should know about other than tissue and floss related ones before setting my kids up with yours?
Law of Pedantry: At any given level of education, there will always be a teacher who does not give perfect scores because “only God is perfect.”
The passuk begs to differ: v’isha b’chol eileh lo matzasi
Prehaps what youve decided is the ceam of the crop, hashem has decided otherwise… Either ghese girls that you think desserve the best really dont or the guys that look the best on the surface are really not. Like someone pointed out here, some of the nerdyest guys turn out being the best husbands and some of the coolest hot shot guys turn out being the worlds biggest brats!!
You have to realise shidduch girl thaf you aint the one that decides who is the best and who is not.you seem to havd a controlling personality that you need to work on.
You are not the one thaf runs ghe world…
Trust hashem and you wont be depressed about it. Theres a devine plan for all.
Theres a purposs ahy some people hvs be nerds and some havs to be hotshots everyone here is hk fulfil a tafkid.
The tzar of a hotshot having to ‘SETTLE’ for a ‘nerd’could havd sth to do with thier personal tafkid.
I believe your question is kinda mute- every girl has her version of a “good” boy the type she wants to marry- the real question is does this boy exist? Is it possible? Or do you have to give and take a little- most ppl have to give and take a little- so when you ask where are the good boys- who or what type are you refering to? And like many stated above- no one is perfect except Him- perfect does not exist- but don’t go out their thinking “I’m settling” because then you’ll always think there is someone better
Perhaps the question is moot, it is certainly not mute.
Even a lousy crop has its cream.
one of my professors used to not give 100s and said the reason is because only G-D is perfect “
I HATED that guy! Only Hashem is perfect – true. But getting 100% on a test on which you did not answer even one question incorrectly, only makes your PAPER perfect, not you. So, teachers, get over yourselves, give credit where it is due, and save the mussar schmooze for when you are NOT giving tests.
By definition, only one girl can have the “best” boy, right?
Well, as soon as the best boy gets married, someone else becomes the best boy. 🙂
Top guys and regular guys have a hard time finding a very good girl.
“top guys and regular guys both have a hard time finding good girls”.
Whats thd definition of a good girl?
^very
Just to clarify, what percentage of boys are the “cream of the crop”, and what percentage of girls are “best”?
” setting my kids up with yours? “
Laugh all you want, Syag, but odds are, our families WILL cross paths with one another (if they have’nt already).
The yeshiva world (in all its sizes and colors) is not that big, and since we are all vying for the “best” catch, its pretty much a slam dunk we are gonna be one big happy family or at least attending each other’s simchas.
Dental floss and all.
DY – Great point!
Squeak? Anybody? I need some validation for my post.
Where did the op go? trolling in the park?
there are many good boys out there yet i feel thatthey arent the ones making the decisions in shidduchim its their mom!! which is causing many problems if a guy cant schoose a girl on his own then what can he do?!?!?
bpt: If you are anything like you seem from your posts, I’d be honored. And fyi, my dad used those post card inserts from magazines so business cards sounds about right.
if a guy cant schoose a girl on his own then what can he do?!?!?
Not get married, since he obviously is not mature enough to do so.
For the OP: Look outside the (Lakewood) box, and avoid anyone looking for money (both boys & Shaddchanim). You will find the cream if you look hard enough.
I’m right here at my filtered computer.
popa- I cite Niemoller
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