June 12, 2012 2:52 pm at 2:52 pm #603763ShidduchimMember
Why are there sooooooo many good girls out there but no ‘cream of the crop’ boys????? It’s so depressing to see great girls settling for just a ‘good guy’!!! WE ALL WANT THE BEST!!!
Anyone have a good explanantion????????????June 12, 2012 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm #879663WolfishMusingsParticipant
Perhaps you need a redefinition of “cream of the crop.”
The WolfJune 12, 2012 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm #879664CsarMember
There are very many cream of the crop bochorim. But where are the good girls??June 12, 2012 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm #879665MiddlePathParticipant
How do you define “cream of the crop”?
Also, having “the best” isn’t ideal. The ideal level is for a person to have the best spouse FOR THEM.June 12, 2012 4:21 pm at 4:21 pm #879666Sam2Participant
By definition, only one girl can have the “best” boy, right?June 12, 2012 4:34 pm at 4:34 pm #879667TheGoqParticipant
SCREAM OF THE CROP
I appreciate this is important to you but there is no reason to yell (all caps)June 12, 2012 5:00 pm at 5:00 pm #879668zemanParticipant
There are boys who seem like “cream of the crop” on paper – yichus, smart, tall, handsome, muscular ,etc. but some are so arrogant, and will turn out to be bad husbands. I have seen this with many boys I knew in Yeshiva. I would never want my daughter anywhere near these boys. On the other hand, some boys who some would consider “nerds’ end up being terrific husbands. Look for a boy that will be great husband, not a trophy that you want to impress others with.June 12, 2012 5:12 pm at 5:12 pm #879669takahmamashParticipant
I think your question mark key is stuck.June 12, 2012 5:28 pm at 5:28 pm #879671147Participant
When people want to settle, they will settle; This being picky is just the Yetzer HoRo disguising itself with excuses.June 12, 2012 5:35 pm at 5:35 pm #879672bptParticipant
The explanation is really very simple. You are putting the cart before the horse:
The mediocre boy BECOMES the cream of crop by marrying the BEST girl.
I know, I know, that’s not fair, but it is the SYSTEM, so best just deal with it and not make waves.
Sorry, but them is the rules.June 12, 2012 6:03 pm at 6:03 pm #879673☕️coffee addictParticipant
one of my professors used to not give 100s and said the reason is because only G-D is perfectJune 12, 2012 8:20 pm at 8:20 pm #879674🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
bpt – speaking of shidduch rules, are there any other hygiene issues that I should know about other than tissue and floss related ones before setting my kids up with yours?June 12, 2012 10:13 pm at 10:13 pm #879675OneOfManyParticipant
Law of Pedantry: At any given level of education, there will always be a teacher who does not give perfect scores because “only God is perfect.”June 12, 2012 10:14 pm at 10:14 pm #879676popa_bar_abbaParticipant
The passuk begs to differ: v’isha b’chol eileh lo matzasiJune 12, 2012 10:30 pm at 10:30 pm #879677
Prehaps what youve decided is the ceam of the crop, hashem has decided otherwise… Either ghese girls that you think desserve the best really dont or the guys that look the best on the surface are really not. Like someone pointed out here, some of the nerdyest guys turn out being the best husbands and some of the coolest hot shot guys turn out being the worlds biggest brats!!
You have to realise shidduch girl thaf you aint the one that decides who is the best and who is not.you seem to havd a controlling personality that you need to work on.
You are not the one thaf runs ghe world…
Trust hashem and you wont be depressed about it. Theres a devine plan for all.
Theres a purposs ahy some people hvs be nerds and some havs to be hotshots everyone here is hk fulfil a tafkid.
The tzar of a hotshot having to ‘SETTLE’ for a ‘nerd’could havd sth to do with thier personal tafkid.June 13, 2012 3:11 am at 3:11 am #879678bygirl93Member
I believe your question is kinda mute- every girl has her version of a “good” boy the type she wants to marry- the real question is does this boy exist? Is it possible? Or do you have to give and take a little- most ppl have to give and take a little- so when you ask where are the good boys- who or what type are you refering to? And like many stated above- no one is perfect except Him- perfect does not exist- but don’t go out their thinking “I’m settling” because then you’ll always think there is someone betterJune 13, 2012 3:21 am at 3:21 am #879679apushatayidParticipant
Perhaps the question is moot, it is certainly not mute.
Even a lousy crop has its cream.June 13, 2012 3:29 am at 3:29 am #879680oomisParticipant
one of my professors used to not give 100s and said the reason is because only G-D is perfect “
I HATED that guy! Only Hashem is perfect – true. But getting 100% on a test on which you did not answer even one question incorrectly, only makes your PAPER perfect, not you. So, teachers, get over yourselves, give credit where it is due, and save the mussar schmooze for when you are NOT giving tests.June 13, 2012 3:34 am at 3:34 am #879681☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
By definition, only one girl can have the “best” boy, right?
Well, as soon as the best boy gets married, someone else becomes the best boy. 🙂June 13, 2012 3:38 am at 3:38 am #879682shmoelMember
Top guys and regular guys have a hard time finding a very good girl.June 13, 2012 4:15 am at 4:15 am #879683
“top guys and regular guys both have a hard time finding good girls”.
Whats thd definition of a good girl?June 13, 2012 4:16 am at 4:16 am #879684
^veryJune 13, 2012 1:59 pm at 1:59 pm #879685HaLeiViParticipant
Just to clarify, what percentage of boys are the “cream of the crop”, and what percentage of girls are “best”?June 13, 2012 4:04 pm at 4:04 pm #879686bptParticipant
” setting my kids up with yours? “
Laugh all you want, Syag, but odds are, our families WILL cross paths with one another (if they have’nt already).
The yeshiva world (in all its sizes and colors) is not that big, and since we are all vying for the “best” catch, its pretty much a slam dunk we are gonna be one big happy family or at least attending each other’s simchas.
Dental floss and all.
DY – Great point!June 13, 2012 4:26 pm at 4:26 pm #879687popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Squeak? Anybody? I need some validation for my post.June 13, 2012 5:09 pm at 5:09 pm #879688TheGoqParticipant
Where did the op go? trolling in the park?June 13, 2012 5:31 pm at 5:31 pm #879689yoyo56Member
there are many good boys out there yet i feel thatthey arent the ones making the decisions in shidduchim its their mom!! which is causing many problems if a guy cant schoose a girl on his own then what can he do?!?!?June 13, 2012 7:51 pm at 7:51 pm #879690🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
bpt: If you are anything like you seem from your posts, I’d be honored. And fyi, my dad used those post card inserts from magazines so business cards sounds about right.June 13, 2012 8:34 pm at 8:34 pm #879691gavra_at_workParticipant
if a guy cant schoose a girl on his own then what can he do?!?!?
Not get married, since he obviously is not mature enough to do so.
For the OP: Look outside the (Lakewood) box, and avoid anyone looking for money (both boys & Shaddchanim). You will find the cream if you look hard enough.June 13, 2012 9:41 pm at 9:41 pm #879692yaakov doeParticipant
I’m right here at my filtered computer.June 13, 2012 11:11 pm at 11:11 pm #879693squeakParticipant
popa- I cite Niemoller
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