Customs re: 2nd wedding for halachic reasons

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  • #619227

    mishpacha613
    Member

    I’m sorry if this has been addressed before, I searched and didn’t see anything. My husband and I were married 11 years ago in a reform ceremony. We are now planning to have a halachic wedding – but we’re unsure of any specific customs in that circumstance. Obviously we need a new ketubah, but, as baalei teshuva, any other input would be appreciated.

    #1215575

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Mazel tov!

    Ask whichever rabbis is going to officiate, I’d guess.

    #1215576

    benignuman
    Participant

    Mazal Tov! I believe you keep the full seven days of sheva berachos but as Popa said. You should find a Rabbi who knows your family and your situation to guide you through.

    #1215577

    Joseph
    Participant

    As far as Torah Judaism is concerned this is your first wedding and you do all halachic requirements that a first wedding has. The kesuba will be the same one used for a second wedding, though, because that’s applicable for any bride that’s previously been in a relationship with a guy, even if not married to him.

    #1215578

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I would come to this sheva brachos.

    #1215579

    golfer
    Participant

    Popa & benign already gave you great advice.

    I’m just here to wish you both-

    MAZEL TOV!

    May you build a beautiful home together and may the years ahead be filled with happiness!

    #1215580

    mishpacha613
    Member

    Thank you, everyone! Our rabbi is wonderful and is certainly helping us along, I should have been more specific to the areas he’s kind of left up to us: how large of a gathering we want to have, the color dress I wear, etc. from what he’s said it sounds like some people in our situation might really do it up and others are more low key and we’d like to do something smaller but I’m not sure what the norm is, or if there is one. There’s a small Jewish community here so this isn’t something that happens often.

    #1215581

    147
    Participant

    As far as Torah Judaism is concerned this is your first wedding So all your friends shall again be giving you wedding gifts. Nice to be receiving so many gifts, but a lot of thank you notes thereafter to take care of.

    #1215582

    Meno
    Participant

    You absolutely must discuss this with an orthodox rabbi. Otherwise you’ll be back here in eleven years saying something like “my husband and I got married based on advice we got here and now we want to do it right”

    #1215583

    lakewoodwife
    Participant

    MAZEL TOV!!!!!!

    I recall when a couple in our community had this situation (I grew up in a small community & this happened when I was in high school- a long time ago).

    They invited the whole community- including high school students (prob about 100-150 people, total)to the ceremony and a small reception (cake & drinks) and dancing afterwards. Then they had a seuda/sheva brachos with a minyan+ (I think about 10 couples they were friendly with). The dancing with everyone was very leibadik and quite beautiful!!!

    #1215584

    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Mazel Tov!!!!

    Sorry, I don’t know much about the topic, but I wanted to take the opportunity to wish you Mazel Tov!

    I would think that the best thing would be to do what you’re comfortable with, since there probably are no real traditions involved, so you can create your own (obviously after checking with a Rav to make sure your plans are not against the Torah in any way).

    It’s good that you are trying to find out what others do, but if you don’t find out anything or aren’t comfortable with what you hear others did, then you should feel free to do what you’re comfortable with.

    I do remember one Russian couple I knew when I was young who had a second wedding. I did not attend, but my impression was that it was small. If I have a chance, maybe I’ll ask my mother if she remembers.

    In any case, hatzlacha and mazel tov! 🙂

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