"Dating Early" Kol Koreh- Who's missing?

Home Forums Shidduchim "Dating Early" Kol Koreh- Who's missing?

Viewing 19 posts - 51 through 69 (of 69 total)
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  • #918340

    Im not sure that by lowering the age that people usually get married will suddenly effect at what age people mature. It seems difficult to imagine in our society a 21 year old to be ready for so much responsibility.

    In todays society and bachur can go until 20 years old without making a real life decision.

    When i was growing up, which wasnt that long ago, we took city buses at 9 years old, my Father took a train across 3 states by himself at 8 years old. Now, I know parents that wont let their son take a car service by himself at 15 years old.

    I guess if money is not an issue on both sides than they can do it as the parents on both sides can continue to make all the decisions, but in the average case can we expect that “all of a sudden” these children will be grown adults??

    #918341

    shmoel
    Member

    Chasidim do it very well.

    So can you.

    #918342

    Brony
    Participant

    Yo grandpa, can you give us some more examples of a “real life decision” besides taking city buses or riding the train down to Baltimore?

    #918343

    kodesh
    Participant

    1) I’m not joking now – couldn’t the Rabbonim reinstate the ability, and furthermore, encourage a man to marry more than one woman?

    2) I think that the current shidduch system is a very slow one and that the sytem cn’t keep up with, K”AH, the vast amount of people on the market. I beleive Speed Dating could be very effective. I know it sounds goyish – but listen up; It would enable that only minimal information needs to be found out prior to the meeting (the amount of time wasted on phone calls, waiting etc is crazy – especially in the UK where ‘investigating’ is such a lengthly process). This would avoid the crazy amount of time invested in ‘non-starters’ too. Sometimes so much info is fund out, and after 5 minutes of meeting – the boy/girl knows its not right.

    All we need is the Rabbonim to endorse it.

    #918344

    Brony,

    very funny

    #918345

    shmoel, +100

    (I believe in response to:

    ….but in the average case can we expect that “all of a sudden” these children will be grown adults??)

    Chasidim do it very well.

    So can you.

    #918346

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Poverty is greatest in Chassidic communities and the head of Satmar said in an article in Mispacha magazine that in his opinion poverty is the greatest threat to Satmar.

    When you get married at 18, Your oppourtunities to earn a living enough for 12 kids just isnt there

    #918347

    Patri
    Member

    Chasidim are no poorer than other Chareidim. And in fact may be overall richer. Look at the great mosdos, yeshivos, tzedakah organizations and untold other chesed organizations they built. Witness who runs the diamond districts in New York and Europe. Witness B&H Photo, etc.

    #918349

    apushatayid
    Participant

    “Witness who runs the diamond districts in New York and Europe. Witness B&H Photo, etc.”

    Kein Yirbu. However, these are not arguments against what ZD was saying. Also look at the social services agencies that service these very same groups. Look at the number of families enrolled in all sorts of programs from snap to medicare.

    “Chasidim do it very well. So can you.”

    How “grown up” must a couple be if the only obligation they have is to make sure they come home to the right apartment every night.

    #918350

    Patri
    Member

    You have statistics? No you don’t. You merely have preconceived notions that you are projecting on others. Other Chareidim (non-Chasidim) are on government assistance at the same rate. Furthermore, no other frum groups have established the numerous chesed organizations (not to mention mosdos) as the Chasidim have at great financial cost. That money is not coming from the government.

    #918351

    shmoel
    Member

    apy: What on earth are you talking about? They have all the same marital obligations as you do and your children do.

    #918352

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    You have statistics? No you don’t. You merely have preconceived notions that you are projecting on others.Other Chareidim (non-Chasidim) are on government assistance at the same rate.

    Does anyone else find this amusing?

    P.S. don’t assume non-Chasidim = Chareidim. There are Yekkes, Misnagdim, Litvaks & Oberlanders, even without going to MO. Let alone Sephardim. (Obviously, that does not mean they are not Quakers as well, but they usually don’t get lumped together). Many modern day “Charadim” are Chassidish “wannabes”.

    #918353

    zahavasdad
    Participant

    It was Rabbi David Neiderman president of UJO in Williamsburg that said in Mispacha would said that Poverty was the greatest threat to Satmar

    Also census Satisics have labeled Kiryat Joel the poorest city in americs

    #918355

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    Also census Satisics have labeled Kiryat Joel the poorest city in americs

    Statistics don’t include all income. If you actually go there, you will see that everyone is taken care of adaquately, and they have nice homes (compared to Williamsburg apartments).

    To make it clear, I don’t mean anything “illegal”. What I mean is that those who don’t have are supported to their means by the community, so that no one goes without.

    #918356

    Patri
    Member

    Actually, Oberlanders usually do get lumped together with Chasidim while Yekkes usually get lumped together with Litvaks/Misnagdim. Regardless, my above point about the comparitive equivelence of government aid between chasidim and non-chasidic chareidim holds true whether or not you include Oberlanders and/or Yekkes in the sample size. Both Oberlanders and Yekkes are a very small minority of the Frum Ashkenazic population.

    #918357

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    “chasidim and non-chasidic chareidim”

    What is a “non chassidic charadim”? Yerushalmis? Lakewood and its child yeshivos? KAJ? Flatbush? St. Louis?

    #918358

    apushatayid
    Participant

    shmoel. since you seem to know what I am talking about, and I dont know what I am talking about, perhaps you would like to explain to me what obligations a 17 year old couple has?

    #918359

    shmoel
    Member

    The same obligations a 23 year old couple has.

    #918360

    bp27
    Participant

    Kiryas Yoel is the poorest city because income is calculated on a per capita basis. If you divide the total income earned among the 70% of the city which are children and don’t have income, of course you’ll have the poorest city.

    Poorest city just means the city with the largest percentage of children ka”h.

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