Dealing with confusing relationships
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- This topic has 11 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 1 week ago by HaLeiVi.
December 13, 2022 11:54 pm at 11:54 pm #2147534Jewish12345Participant
Anyone know how to repair confusing relationships with friends? It’s been a while since they spoke to me and they are ignoring me. It was probably my fault and not theirs as to why they are ignoring me in the first place. I honestly apologized and reached out many times and they keep ignoring me. Any ideas on how to go about this?December 14, 2022 12:20 am at 12:20 am #2147540AviraDeArahParticipant
High school friendships are fickle and usually skin deep; you’ll find real friends when you’re an adultDecember 14, 2022 5:50 am at 5:50 am #2147564yungermanSParticipant
Turn the day over and start a fresh day schedule the next day like it never happened and move on in life showing your friends in class that your older and more mature than them.December 14, 2022 5:51 am at 5:51 am #2147584Shimon NodelParticipant
You need to talk with a real life personDecember 14, 2022 8:29 am at 8:29 am #2147593commonsaychelParticipant
Try talking about A Stone vs Brook Brothers shirts, shiddichim vs real estate or the best idea of all taking on something for the zechus of Moshe Kleinerman.
like Avira said before HS friendship and skin deep as you will find out when you grow upDecember 14, 2022 8:29 am at 8:29 am #2147598Jewish12345Participant
Just to make things clear. I’m talking about guys in their 20’s at an age that they were supposed to be mature many years beforehand. Thanks for the answers so far.December 14, 2022 8:53 am at 8:53 am #2147607smerelParticipant
You need to speak to someone in real life but based on the way you are describing the situation you should stop running after them and try to find others instead
The Gemara Bava Kamma 92B brings the following common expression קרית
חברך ולא ענך רמי גודא רבה שדי ביה
If you called to your friend and he did not answer you, throw a large wall at him
The expression actually means not to help those who spurns your offers of help and the Gemora points that there is a posuk saying the same thing but the literal meaning is also an important piece of advice. There is just a limit to how much you an run after people to be their friends. For now let things cool off and then see .
But as above you should ask someone in real life who knows the situation
Hatzlacha.December 14, 2022 9:21 am at 9:21 am #2147639GadolhadorahParticipant
You may find the “issue” separating you from your former chaverim is now “their” issues if you have legitimately made efforts to do social tshuvah for your unsocial actions that may have originally triggered this broigas. Accept the fact that they may not want to reconnect with yo after several years, perhaps because they have built new friendships etc and after trying, you may just have to move on as well. Hatzlacha in whatever direction you go.December 14, 2022 9:39 am at 9:39 am #2147656Little FroggieParticipant
Confusing relationships?!? Try יבמות!!!December 14, 2022 2:45 pm at 2:45 pm #2147753Get-r-dunParticipant
To clarify, when you said they are not speaking to you, are you talking in the plural or a single guy identifying as a ‘they’?December 14, 2022 4:31 pm at 4:31 pm #2147765ujmParticipant
Pirkei Avos has the answer to this question.December 15, 2022 10:30 am at 10:30 am #2147987HaLeiViParticipant
Agreeing with Shimon Nodel. There are way too many variables to address, even in a general way.
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