Dear Niece

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  • #764146
    always here
    Participant

    I agree with Sac’s advice as well.

    hope you’re feeling ok, Goq!! hope you had some Kosher for Pesach sugar-free chocolate 🙂

    #764147
    MDG
    Participant

    You could try to ask your brother why she seems “shy” around you?

    You can use another word instead of “shy”, and don’t use a negative word.

    #764148
    yogibooboo
    Member

    adorable-your little situation scares me a bit…

    #764149
    aries2756
    Participant

    Goq, I would suggest that you DON”T send anything in writing that she can show others. It is better said in person or over the phone. And it is better not elaborated on until you give her an opportunity to tell you what is bothering her. So just asking her what’s wrong, or if you owe her an apology just to get the conversation started might give her an opportunity to start talking.

    #764150
    adorable
    Participant

    The more I thought about this the more I think you should just leave it go. I dont know your niece but if you think she is mature enough not to show it to everyone she knows then go ahead and write it but if not then just forget the whole thing and move on.

    Yogi- why are you concerned?

    #764151
    TheGoq
    Participant

    lol ty always couldnt find sugar free so just got the lowest sugar i could find

    #764152
    yogibooboo
    Member

    adorable- the way you said your uncle makes you feel uncomfortable made me grow a concern

    #764153
    amichai
    Participant

    yogi, just let it go. she isnt gonna share any more than she already did.

    #764155
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    When we are together they huddle together and exclude me altogether

    What a sad situation. We all really feel for you. Whatever the reasons, and remember we dont know all the details, you are hurting and understandably so. Its not even as if you are spaced out any longer…:-)

    But seriously, if your siblings do treat you as the baby and huddle together without you then is it any wonder that your niece has picked up on this and avoids you also? She’s only copying them. They could be the problem here. You’re lucky your other nieces and nephews dont act likewise.

    Let me ask a very important question. Do live near or far from this niece? Meaning does she see you often or rarely? Does she see the huddle against you often or rarely? Do her parents talk about you in her presence? Is there anyone that could act as a go between to speak to her briefly, cos if you send the letter it could make her embarrassed and much more distant, but she does need to know of your discomfort with her behaviour.

    Wishing you only a happy life and may you find your Bashert soon which I’m sure will help both of you!

    #764156
    adorable
    Participant

    Wishing you only a happy life and may you find your Bashert soon which I’m sure will help both of you!

    I agree! May you find your bashert soon…. I think you should try and just give your niece her space she might feel like you smother her for some reason.

    thank you amichai for sticking up for me!

    #764157
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I in no way shape or form smother her, i dont live very close see her maybe 7-10 times a year

    #764158
    TheGoq
    Participant

    so my getting married will solve everything? well thats a shame cause its not gonna happen anytime soon.

    #764159
    HAKOL TOV
    Member

    goq,

    i am really sorry to hear this…

    hope the situation gets better fast!!

    #764160
    adorable
    Participant

    did you write the article in the Mishpacha? you remind me about someone who wrote a letter about his single status

    #764161
    TheGoq
    Participant

    nope i dont read mishpacha

    #764162
    shlishi
    Member

    adorable, much hatzlocha getting your uncle off your case and breaking up with the manager in that store that you got friendly with.

    #764163
    adorable
    Participant

    ok well

    #764164
    TheGoq
    Participant

    ty hakol

    #764165
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    The Goq,

    Is there anyone who knows your family who you could ask advice from, such as a rov or rosh yeshiva? I feel that it’s not for we in the CR to advise in such a case, since the proper course of action depends very much on knowing you, your niece, your brother, and, very possibly, your sister-in-law and other family members.

    It would seem safer to remain quiet about it, and certainly not to put anything into writing, unless someone wise, who is familiar with the situation, advises you to.

    Good luck, and just keep in mind that your “virtual friends” are feeling for you.

    #764166
    TheGoq
    Participant

    that seems to be the consensus for now daas i will let this pass and ty for the kind words

    #764167
    adorable
    Participant

    shlishi- I just read your post. thank you for that…I could use any luck that I can get! my uncle is not a constant issue- he just makes me nuts when I see him- he awakens all my senses….and makes me throw up when i get home and think about it! And the manager- yes I could use help with that on a DAILY basis!

    #764168
    Pac-Man
    Member

    adorable: What does your Aunt think of your Uncle awakening those senses? And what goes on with the manager?

    #764169
    adorable
    Participant

    Pac-Man- the manager is too long to write about over here but i think my aunt is plain old dumb and thinks its cute. when she married him we were very close but then i got bigger and things change…. He used to go around telling his friends that I was his first wife until this other lady came around

    #764170
    TheGoq
    Participant

    adorable i can see how a comment like that can make you uneasy it is kinda creepy

    #764171
    adorable
    Participant

    yes i told you he is…shall i say not your typical? but in essence he is more than just different

    #764172
    Pac-Man
    Member

    adorable: I’d like to read it even if it is quite long. What’s the story with the manager?

    #764173
    adorable
    Participant

    are you the manager?

    #764174
    Pac-Man
    Member

    No.

    #764175
    adorable
    Participant

    we wont go there for now…. check every other thread and maybe you will find it one day

    #764176
    Pac-Man
    Member

    Are you referring to where you posted that you and the store manager became very close friends?

    #764177
    adorable
    Participant

    what thread are you talking about? why are you and why would i want to tell you? you are scaring me

    #764178
    always here
    Participant

    intrusive much?! :/

    #764179
    Pac-Man
    Member

    Sorry, forget it. I just saw a post from you saying you and some store manager became close to each other and you regretted it even though you are still close to him.

    #764180
    adorable
    Participant

    i dont want to forget it until you tell me which post you are referring to. are you new here btw?

    #764181
    Pac-Man
    Member

    Sorry adorable. I hope this link works, I think it goes to the post I was talking about:

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/being-followed/page/2#post-241341

    #764182
    adorable
    Participant

    you are not so dumb after all i guess. that is partial but good shot

    #764183
    Pac-Man
    Member

    Gee, thanks for vouching for my “not being so dumb after all” 🙂 But I don’t know what you mean by partial.

    #764184
    adorable
    Participant

    can i ask you why you care so much?

    #764185
    Pac-Man
    Member

    Okay, I admit it, I am the manager who became your bf. Wouldn’t you be interested if you suddenly read an online discussion about you??

    #764186
    TheGoq
    Participant

    pac-man let it go, it obviously makes her uncomfortable you need to move past this.

    #764187
    Pac-Man
    Member

    I tried to 🙁 I said sorry forget it, but she insisted to continue saying “i dont want to forget” 🙁

    #764188
    adorable
    Participant

    who are you? for real are you the manager? if you are so pls tell me why you ignored me…. email me please then i will believe you (maybe)

    #764189
    Pac-Man
    Member

    omg, you exchanged emails with him too?

    #764190
    adorable
    Participant

    if you were him you would know what i want you to do. lol there goes your scan

    #764191
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Mods i think something inappropriate is going on here perhaps you should put a stop to it, pac-mans actions have crossed a line and his account should be banned imho.

    #764192
    adorable
    Participant

    thank you i will not post on this thread anymore Bli Neder

    #764193
    amichai
    Participant

    pac-man – shame on you. why does it have to get to this?

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