Dear Teacher,

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    why was arabic allowed here? (see CR rules)

    ?? ????

    minyan gal

    blabla, what grade are you in? Would it be possible for you to take a year off school and then spend the time working on your health issues? Perhaps you could be home schooled for this year and then your schedule will be far more flexible, allowing you time for therapy and studies. At this point in your life, I think that school should not be your number one priority and shidduchim should not even be on your radar. Are your parents aware of all that you are experiencing? Remember that although you may not always agree with them and you may not always be on the best of terms with them, they are your very best friends. They are the ones that only want the best that life has to offer for you. With their support and the help of therapists – it may take more than one to deal with your problems – you will be able to become a happy productive person.


    Blabla, you already know my “speech” but i guess it can’t hurt to hear again!

    i’m so sorry it’s so difficult. Nobody can ever judge another person, teacher to student, student to teacher, peer to peer etc. At this point i don’t think it’s possible for you to be able to see what it’s like as a teacher, only once i started teaching could i suddenly see things differently! Having said that, i try very hard to give my all to my students, to care and love and understand them etc. I just wish for you to have teachers who will understand you! If you are seriously considering stopping school think it through very very carefully, i always find that the routine it’ll give you may just be worth it.. i imagine you’ll miss enough as it is!

    You’re so strong! Keep up the fight! You can do it!!

    How you’re strong – by keeping up fighting, by accepting what you can, e.g knowing that you’re not in control, by being in touch with your feelings, by reaching out…. you want to hear more?? You know you are strong – you say how!!!!


    Bombmanic – kudos on your post, i just read and read even though it was long – somehow you keep the reader wanting to read further!


    I don’t think there is any way for me to stop school without completely ruining my chances for shidduchim (there I go again). I just can’t! I try to pretend I’m normal but I’m drowning in all the work! In addition, this year is supposed to be my hardest year academically!


    Bomb: Your post is a good as it is long!;) Seriously, I’m speechless. Your advice is honest, straightforward and most of all practical. Quite amazing.

    blabla: I fully agree with bomb. I don’t think it’s necessary to rewrite his post;) But I suggest that you read the ENTIRE post and actually put it into practice. Hatzlacha.

    Now I’d like to address aries, blabla and always runs with scissors fast:

    (Note: I’m not and probably will not be a teacher.)

    Teachers are human beings just like you are. They are not malachim and you can’t expect them to act like malachim. Yes, they must act like “mentchen”, greet others, excuse themselves and work on their sensitivity. But so do we. Are we perfect? Are we ALWAYS sensitive to others’ feelings? Are we NEVER stressed out and act a bit rude? If you are perfect, great. But most people aren’t. Teachers are always in the spotlight. And with reason. They raise our children. But we have to take into account that they’re human. They’re underpaid and overworked. PLUS they have their own private life with their own day to day nisyonos. You say the teachers shouldn’t judge blabla (which is correct). But we shouldn’t judge THEM either. They have to do their job. They must make certain that their students know and understand what they teach. Otherwise, the principal will blame THEM. We cannot expect them to somehow know that blabla’s having a hard time. How should they know to be more lenient with her (although I’m not sure this is the solution)?

    Developing one’s sensitivity is a skill. Some people sense when others are suffering while others don’t. Yes, they do have to work on that. But you know what? So do I have to work on kaas. Or jealousy. Or whatever middah raah.


    seriously…stop worrying about shidduchim. if you cant handle school how exactly do you think you can handle marriage. shidduchim should be the lowest priority on your list. as for skipping school for a year, personally i think thats an awful idea because it would just make you withdraw into yourself which would just make any possible treatment worse…


    How can I get permission for the email to be posted, mods?


    bla: it’s possible that taking time off from school may become necessary, for now let’s assume you will start school and try to work academically. First you need to stop letting your imagination go wild as to exactly how circumstances will be once you are in school. The fact is, you simply don’t know the future, including exactly what school will be like this year. Even if you have had repetitive experiences in the past, it doesn’t guarantee everything will repeat this year. Take each event, emotion, as it occurs, don’t anticipate so much that might happen, until you are in a fever because of your imagination. That being said, you do need to immediately connect with someone who will be of long term assistance to you. I’m wondering if this is a case of “been to therapists, psychiatrists, taken meds, etc. and nothing helped?” If not, then it is certainly time to try to find someone you can confide in, whether a relative, friend, Rabbi or Rebbetzin, or mental health practitioner.


    unfortunately, i don’t trust people that fast. But yes, I’ve been to therapists, psychiatrists, nutritionists, etc. and still am seeing them.


    bomb, that was amazing.




    I had a friend in high school that tried to OD on pain killers to permanently reduce the pain. Fortunately, those were not that kind of pain killers. She went to the hospital and recovered. 25 years later, she is the mother of 6 children and living a normal life.

    What I’m trying to say is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Her life sucked then (physical problems, social problems, overbearing parents, etc), but it changed. Yours will too.


    Dear Students,

    I am your future teacher. I am also a person, with a life outside of school. When you look at me perhaps you think you see an insensitive, uncaring adult who is here only to push the material into your heads and yourselves out the door in a few months. Perhap you are afraid to approach me, believing that your problems are too shocking or horrible for my hard ears or heart to handle.

    But I too was once a student, with a life outside of school. A difficult and different life from that of many of my schoolmates.

    I am not in the classroom to tell you my story, nor am I here to delve into each one of your stories. I am here to teach and you are here to learn.

    But I will try to teach more than the material, I will try to teach the students. While that is happening, stories tend to come out. And I expect to learn, as I do every year, from my students, the true lessons of life.

    I wish only the best for each one of you. May Hashem make it that we are a good “shidduch” for each other.




    Ursula, you are a mentch first before all else.


    Oh, aries, I wish! Your kind words (and, btw, caring posts on other threads) are appreciated.

    Thanks, bomb, you really are an inspiration.

    Hatzlacha, blabla, may this year bring you healthy growth and happiness.



    good post!


    blabla-I’m A Student 2 and i know exactly how you feel. If you don’t do everything perfect you just get really nasty screams…Its disgusting. I know a girl that got so many screams from a teacher for no reason and this past year she went to 2 different schools and hated both because of all the screaming shes a really good girl and would never do anything wrong and this coming year i think she probably going to be home schooled she lives in New York she is a regular girl like everyone else!! I think that teachers and principals should calm down.

    A girl in my class was chewing gum right before we were going 2 go on a trip when the principal saw and docked her from the trip and suspended her for 4 days!! I was Shocked!!

    when i get screamed at by my principal I get called really bad animal names and I cry the entire day from what she says. I really know how you feel blabla…I wish you a hatzlacha in the new school year…


    I wish you were my teacher ursula but my teachers aren’t as normal as you. Wow, you are one of a kind.


    gumball, I don’t think that is normal what your principal does! Names?! That is real mature (sarcastic). My school was known to be a crazy open-minded school. We could ask any q’s we wanted and were never told to stop asking. I just can’t imagine a principal being like that.

    Yes, not every teacher was “perfect” but overall I had a good experience with them and wish all of you could too!!!


    ursula, +1



    happiest-it really scars kids what my principal does 2 us..!! its really not a healthy situation…


    happiest-it really scars kids what my principal does 2 us..!!

    I know what you are talking about.

    I had a principal in elementary school who was absolutely a terror. He would fly into a rage over the slightest thing, and yell at you in public at the top of your lungs.

    I was so scared of him, and would cry every time he yelled at me.

    He had no business being an educator, and should have not been allowed within 1000 yards of the school.

    Yet, he was considered a great principal by the board, and was the principal for like 40 years.

    I don’t know that I will ever forgive him.


    popa_bar_abba-Poor you is all i cud say…principals eally need to have limits!!

    Queen Bee

    popa_bar_abba, I don’t think I will ever forgive my principal either (though, mine was in HS). It sucks when everyone else (including my parents) thinks the world of her when she made my life a living hell.


    I don’t think I can either ever forgive my elementary principal although B”H I have a better H.S. principal.


    YN coffee room isnt a place for a “last confession” , as a licensed professional who strictly deals with teens “at risk” maybe you need to change your venting venue , a father / big brother figure for one , and if your missing that as well there are amazing programs across the world in all jewish communities for “kids” like yourself (ie: Ohr Navah , Ohr Yitzchak , Our Place and the list goes on , and thats just in the Flatbush community). I find it kids have an easier time talking to other kids in similar situations to try and grow , its up to you to prove them all wrong but conceding to their presumptions and attacks on your capabilities by thinking of committing self bodily harm or worse is not the direction you need be heading , bec g-d knows if that is how you are going to talk/act then yes your right you’ll never get a shidduch ect.. stop placing blame on others (even if said people ARE a fault – bec that will do you nothing even if they were to admit their wrongs you’d still feel depressed and distraught ) and get passed this struggle with the right help ! Sincerely a stranger who cares


    project yes is actually a good idea…you should try that. i used project yes for a year and loved it. (i also just applied to be a mentor there )


    I’m not making any last confessions here, I’m simply trying to get my message through to people who can benefit. I know I can’t be the only teen out there suffering like this. And no, I’m not “at risk” just because I’m depressed. Yes, I do have friends (only a few) with my similar situation and we cry together how we’re not going to school and honestly, it doesn’t really help cuz we live in different places.


    Get yourself someone to talk to thats either not involved in a similar situation or who was but is past all that now…commiserating is helpful because misery likes company, but you need someone with a birds eye perspective to talk to

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