October 30, 2016 6:28 am at 6:28 am #618590
I used to get horrified every time I heard a curse word. Ever since I started listening to non jewish music and watching movies, I’ve become desensitized. I now use these words on a day to day basis and they’re part of my language. I’ve tried to stop listening and watching, but these words are part of me now. Any ideas on how to stop?October 30, 2016 6:51 am at 6:51 am #1189339HappygirlygirlMember
Hi princess cape , first of all I admire you for being in touch with urself that you feel that what you’re doing is wrong and i have to tell you that I had the exact same problem. I used every word out there like all them time. And then I realized something that helped me out tremendously. Smart and classy people don’t use street language aka curse words. The educated and aristocratic men and women don’t use it on a daily basis. That means its for the commoners. I’m a princess and therefore I will sound educated and upperclass and not use foul language. And that’s how I stopped because I put it beneath myself to say such things. And judging by your username you agree to be a princess . A princess is a princess because of the way she acts and speaks….October 30, 2016 9:10 am at 9:10 am #1189340
You need to stop listening to Goyish music and watching movies. Your cursing is due to your environment, change back to Jewish music and a frum environment and you will stop.October 30, 2016 10:01 am at 10:01 am #1189341JM613Participant
I went through something similar many years ago. I was in an environment with a lot of cursing and grew used to it and used the words myself.
Leaving that environment really helped, but it took a while. The words were sort of “part of me” but just as they had become part of me they eventually stopped being part of me.
I think I did also consciously try to stop using them, and practiced some alternate means of expressing myself. It was weird at first; I felt like my expression was sort of restricted. That went away eventually though.
Hatzlocha raba!October 30, 2016 11:19 am at 11:19 am #1189342TheGoqParticipant
Have a mantra when u feel you are about to say something bad say something to yourself like I am better than this, at first its difficult but it gets easier.October 30, 2016 1:57 pm at 1:57 pm #1189344
Thanks guys so I tried stopping to listen and watch and obviously you know that’s easier said than done! Also it’s hard to stop because a few of my friends use this language also and I’m not just gonna drop them. I’m always scared a curse will slip out involuntarily during school or something. I’m not talking about the “mild” ones hereOctober 30, 2016 6:25 pm at 6:25 pm #1189345
Just think twice before you say anything.October 30, 2016 7:33 pm at 7:33 pm #1189346WinnieThePoohParticipant
Princess- I think this will be a habit that will take more than 8 h to break. Keep up the good work.
I noticed that co-workers usually avoid the crude language when they were in my presence, which goes to show you that who you hang out with will affect how you speak. Try to stick with friends with refined speech, you will find yourself talking like them.October 30, 2016 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #1189347
Simple solution change one letter of the curse word for instance what the Mell Fell and so on it works or make up your own uniqueOctober 30, 2016 10:30 pm at 10:30 pm #1189348
The educated and aristocratic men and women don’t use it on a daily basis.
Donald Trump is pretty aristocratic and he uses nivul Peh on a daily basis., Dick Cheney also used it quite frequentlyOctober 31, 2016 3:25 am at 3:25 am #1189350I. M. ShluffinParticipant
I agree with the suggestions to hang out with the right crowd who will rub off on you and to exchange the word with any silly one of your choice – e.g., “what the snapple,” “oh, shnitzel.” We’re not asking you to drop your friends. If you start showing that you’re working on this, your friends will quickly learn to appreciate and respect you for that, and maybe even abstain from using coarse language in your presence. Ok, maybe it won’t happen so quickly. But it will happen, even if you don’t notice it. A refined character commands respect from others without even trying.
Take it one word at a time, or maybe one hour at a time. You got this, girl.October 31, 2016 6:17 am at 6:17 am #1189351
Donald Trump is not aristocratic. He has loads of money. There is a difference. How about frum Jews who use pejoratives like “shvartze” and “shiksa” (which comes from “shaketz”)?October 31, 2016 11:27 am at 11:27 am #1189352
Thanks everyone! I’ll keep trying!October 31, 2016 11:54 am at 11:54 am #1189353
There are other nivul Peh Yiddish words that seems to have lost meaning to some and people use them on a regular basis even though that they are nivul peh according to their real meaningOctober 31, 2016 10:56 pm at 10:56 pm #1189354
What’s wrong with using curse words?October 31, 2016 11:28 pm at 11:28 pm #1189355
It’s assur.October 31, 2016 11:41 pm at 11:41 pm #1189357LightbriteParticipant
Aristocratic: Think Princess Diana (though technically not by heritage but by marriage) and current Duchess Kate Middleton… At least in the public eye, they surely aren’t cursing.
How many Americans are actually aristocrats?November 1, 2016 12:01 am at 12:01 am #1189358
Are curse words worse than cursing?November 1, 2016 12:10 am at 12:10 am #1189359
??????November 1, 2016 5:38 am at 5:38 am #1189360
Zahavasdad, words often change their meanings. I wonder how city dwellers would feel if they knew that the word “villain” comes from “ville” (French for “city”). More to the point, there are words which are normative in one language but nibul peh in another. I knew a Russian speaker who would not use the Hebrew term for “post-dated check” because it is similar a word that is nibul peh in Russian.
Lightbrite, according to Prof. Google there are three definitions of “aristocratic”:
1. of or relating to the aristocracy.
2. distinguished in manners or bearing.
3. grand; stylish.
Scared, the Gemara (Shabbat 33a) says that because of bad language many troubles and evil decree come and young anti-Semitic men (lashon sagi nahor) die before their time. The power of speech distinguishes us from the animals and thus comes from the tzelem Elokim. One who uses bad language sullies his neshama.November 1, 2016 1:30 pm at 1:30 pm #1189361
The Nivil Peh in Yiddish is still Nivel peh in Yiddish, however those words have been loaned to english where they have a slightly more tame meaningNovember 1, 2016 1:55 pm at 1:55 pm #1189362
AviK, that refers to talking about inappropriate things, not using meaningless words which common society has decided are bad.November 1, 2016 2:40 pm at 2:40 pm #1189363
The Gemorah says Someone that talks Nivul Peh even if he has destined for him 70 good years that will be changed for the bad CHSV
It is brought down, an easy way to tell if someone is careful with himself (Vhamaivin Yovin) is in the words that he uses the word MILAH which means WORD, is the same word for MILAH ( Vhamaivin Yovin)November 1, 2016 2:47 pm at 2:47 pm #1189364
It depends if society just randomly decides that door is a bad word and you have to say goozack instead, or if a word has a reason for being a bad word.November 1, 2016 3:20 pm at 3:20 pm #1189365lesschumrasParticipant
Has anyone hear mistakenly claiming that all goyish music has cursing ectually listened to goyish music? None of the misc I listen to has cursing.November 1, 2016 3:29 pm at 3:29 pm #1189366
SDD – I think it’s only the words that actually have bad meanings that are considered assur halachically. There are other words that I was always taught are curse words, but they don’t really have bad meanings, and I think they are technically mutar. Frum people don’t usually use those words because they are unrefined and it is appropriate for a Bas Yisrael and a ben Torah to speak in a refined manner, but I think they are not actually assur.November 1, 2016 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm #1189367
Scared, who says? All words in languages other than Lashon haKodesh are simply sounds given meanings by common society (Chatam Sofer).November 1, 2016 4:18 pm at 4:18 pm #1189368
The Gemorah says Someone that talks Nivul Peh even if he has destined for him 70 good years that will be changed for the bad CHSVNovember 1, 2016 9:42 pm at 9:42 pm #1189369
Jewish source- Thanx! that was very encouraging!
Princess cape- I know how you feel! i have the same issue!November 1, 2016 11:27 pm at 11:27 pm #1189370
Lesschumras: I don’t know which music you listen to, but a lot of the music I’ve heard does have cursing.November 2, 2016 12:04 am at 12:04 am #1189371
There is one word I know of that is not acceptable to say in some parts of the world despite having no literal meaning attached to it.November 2, 2016 12:52 am at 12:52 am #1189372
Is it acceptable to say it in your part of the world, and if so, can you tell us what it is?November 2, 2016 1:34 am at 1:34 am #1189373
I can’t say, but etymologists don’t have a good reason.November 2, 2016 1:54 am at 1:54 am #1189374
What is an etymologist and what is their connection? You are making me very curious, but I guess I shouldn’t be thinking about it and trying to figure out what it is.November 2, 2016 2:12 am at 2:12 am #1189375
All languages have nivel Peh and in Hebrew it seems they are borrowed from Arabic
An etymologist is someone who studies word originsNovember 2, 2016 2:16 am at 2:16 am #1189376
Less chumras- i don’t know what non-jewish music u listen to but the ones that i listen to definitely have curse words and i do find myself slipping those words now and then into my vocabulary! (I know it’s not good but i’m trying to work on myself!)November 2, 2016 2:31 am at 2:31 am #1189377
Loshon Hakodesh has no curse words.
Thanks for the definition. I don’t get how something can be a curse word if it has no meaning, but whatever..November 2, 2016 2:34 am at 2:34 am #1189378
JA – that’s the reason why one should refrain from listening to goyish music. Maybe if it’s too hard to stop altogether, you could at least find goyish music that doesn’t have nibul peh? Does all goyish music nowadays really have nibul peh? I don’t think it used to be like that. Maybe you could find old music to listen to.November 2, 2016 2:34 am at 2:34 am #1189379
Or better yet, find Jewish music tht you like.November 2, 2016 2:36 am at 2:36 am #1189380
He said Literal Meaning. Some words or phrases dont have a literal meaning but rather means something else. Like the phrase “Time Flies” It doesnt literaly means time fliesNovember 2, 2016 2:48 am at 2:48 am #1189381
Well then, I don’t see what difference it makes. If it has a bad meaning, it has a bad meaning. All words and word meanings in all languages other than Loshon Hakodesh (and maybe the original languages that Hashem brought to the world by migdal Bavel) are arbitrary anyhow.November 2, 2016 3:19 am at 3:19 am #1189382Little FroggieParticipant
??? ??? ????…
A person and his words are one. One’s speech define him/her, describe him/her. It echoes off one’s character.
And the opposite is also true. One who works to refine one’s speech will attain character refinement as well.November 2, 2016 3:24 am at 3:24 am #1189383
No, the bad meaning is not an actual meaning attached to a concept, just the general sentiment attached to the act of using profanity.November 2, 2016 4:00 am at 4:00 am #1189384
Johnny, if you delete the music apps from your phone, it will be easier to stop listening. I had to give up my iPhone for school and get a slide phone and it really helps! I don’t listen as much anymore.November 4, 2016 6:32 pm at 6:32 pm #1189385
The problem is that i got into the habit of listening before going to sleep and i can’t sleep without listening before!
It’s literally an addiction!
I’m a little stuck!November 4, 2016 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #1189386MenoParticipant
Find different music to fall asleep toNovember 4, 2016 7:02 pm at 7:02 pm #1189387
jhonny appleseed – Can you listen to a different type of music which doesn’t use curse words maybe Jewish music. Another solution is to try learning a book on Mussar while lying down in bed. You will be asleep before you turn the first page. If that doesn’t work take a baseball bat and stand it up so one end is on the floor and the other is about waist high. Bend over so that your forehead is resting on the end of the bat. With both hand grasping the bat and with your forehead resting on the bat go around the bat seven times. You will be so dizzy that you will fall asleep quickly.November 4, 2016 7:16 pm at 7:16 pm #1189388
what happened to the last post? why was it taken down?November 4, 2016 7:49 pm at 7:49 pm #1189389
baseball bat and stand it up so one end is on the floor and the other is about waist high. Bend over so that your forehead is resting on the end of the bat. With both hand grasping the bat and with your forehead resting on the bat go around the bat seven times. You will be so dizzy that you will fall asleep quickly.
Sounds like an interesting idea but i’m still addicted to it and i can’t stop!November 5, 2016 11:21 pm at 11:21 pm #1189390
JA – can you try to find Jewish music that you like or goyish music that doesn’t have curse words?
If that doesn’t work, and you still can’t sleep, melatonin and/or Advil PM work wonders. I have had serious insomnia for years, and now I take melatonin and Advil PM every day before I go to sleep, and Boruch Hashem, I rarely have a problem sleeping.
Instead of Advil PM, there is something that is a better choice, healthwise. I don’t know what it’s called exactly (night ____ , I think), but it’s the same as Advil PM without the Advil part.
In America, you can get all of these things at any pharmacy without a prescription.
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