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Seriously. I almost did get killed. I went in a barn, and was walking down the isle between all the stalls, and came to the end where upon a i must have startled some nervous old bull because he charged at me at the speed of lightening ramming his head with horns so hard against the wooden shaky old gate, which was flimsy and the ONLY thing between me and him, keeping me from getting killed, and he was threatening to bash it down now! I was so terrified I couldnt even run. (after all i am female and we dont run when we get scared). So I started davening , naturally, not like holding a siddur facing mizrach kind of davening, just screaming and crying type like OH G-D HELP ME, please HELP ME!
Then an amazing thing happened. Hashem helped me. The bull just laid down and remained quiet while I walked or should I say RAN the heck away.
By the way, what was really frightening about the ramming of his 2 ton head into the wooden little gate in front of me, was each time, his horns would pop through threatening to touch my sweater, or rather gore me to death, should I say.
well thats that. Just thought I would tell you about that time I almost got killed by a bull on a springs day.
i hope the bull wasnt charging fast with scissors!
You live on a farm?
“he was threatening to bash it down now”
Can you tell me what my goldfish thinks? He (or she) seems upset sometimes too and I’m afraid he might just come CRASHING through the oh-so-thin glass that seperates me from him.
Please advise.
Are you sure it was a bull and not a Crumple-Horned Snorkack?:)
Before I even opened this thread I knew who started it. 🙂
Pretty good OneOfMany. I thought it was popa or ZessKite before I opened it.
always runs with scissors fast –
Since you posted your Bubba Meisa -now I have to do mine.
I also was in a barn and the bull was shackled on all fours. When I came near it started moving so much -I thought it would break free -so I quickly left.
Next story – visiting the Glades. The alligator was just laying quitely on the ground. The kids I was with started throwing pebbles. I panicked – thinking he is going to make one of us his dinner -so I rushed e/o back to the car. But instead of charging it went back into the pond/lake.
Final Bubba Meisa -I was in the zoo and was at the hippo cage.
I thought it looked cute -so I decided to pet it. I put my hand through the fence and patted it on it’s face. Within a sec it opened it’s mouth and clanged it shut. Luckily I was quicker than him and got my hand out in the nick of time!
Moral of the story – Don’t Pet Hippos! Anyway they are ugly & the face is full tough wiskers -their face is Not soft, even though it looks that way.
arwsf I think that bull was a politician so it came charging at you thinking “al gore her”!
It must have been a pretty large barn if it had an isle within it. Unless, of course, you meant an aisle. What a load of bulloney. A real scary tail to be sure. With the bull contemplating charging at you and thinking dairy charge or dairy not charge. No grey areas, everything only in black and white. How you escaped nobody nose. The bull could have been after the two calves it could see on your side of the gate…! I’m not sure why you felt the need to ruminate this story but I’m pleased to see you here in any event. Post here more often. Dont be a cow-ard.
I can just imagine the look on the bulls face when you started shrieking!! I would have backed off too!
that must have been scary!
any other stories you can share with us?
ARWSF -“Health, you have kids? Are you married? I didnt know you could also be so funny.”
I do have kids, but I’m divorced.
It wasn’t my kids in the story, but they were relatives.
I wasn’t trying to be that funny, just trying to turn a serious situation into the lighter side.
I heard a story about this guy who climbed over the fence to pet the bull. The bull charged and the guy said “I don’t take American Express!”
Shticky, any comment visa-vis my story? I have Discovered you are a Master at puns.
Health, don’t call the Hippo ugly. He has hippopota-feelings toooo…
I think it’s past Mod 42’s bedtime.
Did I ever tell you about the time I almost gored a bull?
Popa mu’ad l’olam.
arwsf thanks for your respect, O matador! Yes, we have the same bad taste in humor!
Mod 42 lol for your comments! But you want yet more puns on cows? I’d butter not cos the steaks are too high. I’d be accused of milking it and besides I heifer bad headache so I cud come up with some grazy, offal puns. Then all I say will go in one ear and out de udder. So I suggest we moooove on now and give this topic the hoof. You want ideas? Wait for some bovine intervention. Anyway in this weather I’m friesian cold so if you are skimming this and feel cheesed off or feel your blood curdling then rest assured its only tongue in cheek, I hope you are amooosed and its time to move onto greener pastures. These are for sure the worst puns I ever herd.
yw mod 42, did you mean “moooed”
OK, this is one of the most funniest threads I have seen in a while!
YW Moderator-42 -“I heard a story about this guy who climbed over the fence to pet the bull.”
Seriously, it takes guts to pet a bull on the same side. These bull fighters are either real tough guys or really stupid that will do anything for a buck.
One time I was staying by my grandparents for a few days. My grandmother used to sometimes hang her laundry to dry. While I was there, she did my laundry, and hung it outside to dry. One pair of my pants fell off the clothesline, and hit the ground.
If I’d been wearing those pants, I would have fallen, and could have broken my neck!
well thats that. Just thought I would tell you about that time I almost broke my neck on a springs day.
YW Moderator-42 -“Health, don’t call the Hippo ugly. He has hippopota-feelings toooo…”
I know it wasn’t so nice for me to say; but then again it wasn’t too nice on his part to try to have my hand for lunch. I should learn from this never to start up with anyone with a big mouth.
That reminds me – Two cannibals were eating a clown – One said to the other -“Something taste funny to you?”
Two cannibals were sitting around the dinner table – One said to the other -“I hate my Mother-in-law.” So the other replied -“So just eat the potatos.”
what yea!!
i almost got gored by a jewish nose once. it was so big and sharp. it came out of nowhere so i davened and thank g-d a bird swooped down and scooped me up. i can now write this message teaching the importance of nose jobs.
Feif Un -“If I’d been wearing those pants, I would have fallen, and could have broken my neck!
well thats that. Just thought I would tell you about that time I almost broke my neck on a springs day.”
I don’t get it. What’s your point? Is this an attempt at humor?
ARWSF -“Health, are you male? I am also divorced”
If you don’t mind me asking -what happened when you last left us?
I hope you don’t think I’m being nosy, but it’s like watching a Soap (which I personally hate) -stopping a few months and then trying to pick it up again. We last left you and you had a newborn & you were dealing with some Post-partum issues.
I’ve discussed my life quite often here, but don’t feel pressured to discuss yours, only if you want to.
Feif-Un – I just want to know what would have happened if you had been wearing those pants when she put them into the washing machine?????
Nechomah: You’re right! Thanks! I almost drowned AND broke my neck!
Feif, did you say Birchas Hagomel?
Did I tell you about the time I ran over myself? My kids wanted something from the store but none of them would go out to get it so I ran over myself.
ARWSF -“My baby is small I still have to wait until she is 2 at least, to think of re-marrying.”
Is that what they told you in Bais Din? I never heard that. They usually say 3 months.
Syag- that was brilliant! Luv it!
lol syag
Health, I think she is right about waiting two years, however if I’m not mistaken she may THINK about it earlier.
ZeesKite -“Health, I think she is right about waiting two years, however if I’m not mistaken she may THINK about it earlier.”
I wasn’t asking for opinions. What I want to know is either the name of a Poisek or a Mekor.
Did i ever tell you about the time i was bored by a gull, i was walking along the seashore and looked at this gull flying low and I thought to myself boy that’s a boring bird.
Health:
For all I know it could be in Shulchan Aruch Even HaEzer 13:11.
Health – I never delved into the sugya so I have no idea what the practical halacha is, but it’s based in Kesubos 60a-b. The halacha, in EH 13:11, seems to be pretty clear like always runs said, although on the face of it I can guess how one might be meikil in various circumstances.
The three months thing is something else. That’s when there’s a question if she is pregnant, and if she gets married right away and has a baby nine months later you won’t know whose kid it is, so they made a takana that she should wait three months. This halacha has to do with child neglect that may occur as a result of the new marriage.
Here is a link to the halacha:
Health: It’s halacha. Not opinion. Even if I can’t tell you the mekor, As for a Poisek. Ask any Poisek you know. Since it’s halacha, all valid Poskem should be able to tell you the same and when it applies.
lol, Goq. 🙂
To all,
Thanks for the Mekor. Now it could be there are Heterim. I’m not quite sure if the Piskey Teshuva Paskens Mutar by a Gerusha. I don’t quite get what he is saying.
Also acc. to the Chocmas Shlomo -he says 18 months, but doesn’t want to argue with other Achronim without another Heter to go along.
It would probably come out acc. to the Chocmas Shlomo, if there are those that Pasken Heter like his Sevara, that nowadays she would be no different than a regular women And not need more than 90 days. Since he discusses that if Metzious changes -this isn’t called being Oiker the Gezara. So two things – one many people bottle feed from the git go and without the mother the kid almost always doesn’t die -so it should be Muttar right away.
And even if you say it’s healthier -the general conception in the medical field is really only 6 months to a year. After that, upto 18 -24 months it’s still recommended, but not at the same level.
So acc. to the Chocmas Shlomo Sevara -it definitely should be Mutter after 1 year. But I didn’t research this enough to know if anybody actually Paskens like this L’masseh.
syag and goq: el oh el to both of you shticksters!
Health, computer, yitay etc: I think you should pick up one of my YWN GPSs. You have lost the direction of this light hearted thread. Start a new halacha thread please and keep the easy reading threads easy reading!
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