Did I make the right decision?

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    What do you guys think? I was learning with one rebbe in my yeshiva and switched from his shiur to another one. The reason I did so is because I seem to have a hard time making a kesher with this rebbe. I find myself getting aggravated because he seems to be overwhelmed and not always hearing or getting what I am saying. Dont get me wrong, he is a really nice guy, but I find myself getting hurt because I cant figure out if I am not loud enough or if his mind is elsewhere. For example I asked him a question the other day(in a normal toned voice) and he did not answer. I did the same a few minutes later and he walked out the door right after I asked it. I got even more aggrivated last Thursday when I had a hard time getting the gemara and he spent time going over and making sure I got it. Then my chavrusa went over to him, and got completly different information-on the same part of the gemara.I tried to ask the rebbe, but I got shushed and he swatted his hand at me telling me to wait- that was enough for me. I tried out a different shiur and it was very nice. The only thing is I really kind of liked the old one and like I said, he is a nice guy, and I think just overwhelmed. I do feel that there will be times where I will get frusturated though and I do not really want that. I did not like the feelings I had when I saw him on Shabbos, I was so upset- and he really did nothing wrong. Sorry for the rant- what do you guys think? Did I make the right decision?


    You made the right decision. Not every rebbe is right for every person, and this one doesn’t seem right for you.


    ????? ???? ??? applies here too. If it was not for a lack of effort on your part and you are happier and learning better, growing more and working harder to peel away your own layers to get to the real self with the newer Rebbi, then you have made the right decision But if it out of any sort of laziness, or lack of desire to be honest with self, then you need to reconsider. It is not just about being happy. It is about doing and growing in Torah and avodas Hashem.

    BTW, did you try to have a heartfelt conversation during a quiet time and place to give him a sane moment to contemplate and explain?


    I don’t understand what you are questioning. You said you had a hard time developing a kesher with him (even though objectively you like him). You attempted several times to ask a question or for clarification, to no avail. You’re questioning something about his ability to teach (or to understand a question) in that he gave you and your chavrusa different answers. The point of a rebbi is someone to teach you and to clarify info. He was unable to do this. A skilled teacher can help you learn how to phrase a question. It doesn’t sound like you made a mistake at all. Only, that, perhaps, you are regretting hurting his feelings because of making a change. I think kindness starts with yourself, though.


    Oh yeh, what I meant to include was that if I am being told one thing and the other guy is being told something else and I cant ask a question…how am I supposed to learn gemara?


    I think you made the right decision. You are supposed to find the place where you can learn best.


    You sound like you want and need a “Rebbe”, and it sounds like and he’s a maggid shiur, not a rebbe. A rebbe is a person that you have a kesher with, a person that you can talk with about gemora or about your life, even during his unpaid hours. Someone that you still talk to after leaving yeshiva.

    However it’s more understood that you won’t have a kesher with a maggid shiur (in most scenarios). Most big yeshivas, the bochrim pack into a room to hear a shiur from the rov and thats it. Even if he would want to give you more time, he most probably wouldn’t be able to, even if he was the nicest person in the world.

    This is probably the deciding factor between choosing a big yeshiva to a smaller one. A smaller yeshiva usually has a lower level of learning, but the cheshek is easier to attain, because there’s a connection with the rebbeim. While in a large yeshiva, the learning is most likely on a higher level, there’s a much greater need to be independent.


    Next time you have a hard time with a Gemara ask here.


    the real question is: are you looking for a rebbe or someone to teach you how to learn. thats also your answer.

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