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Question:
I am getting married in a few weeks and am really excited. But I have this crazy fear that something will go wrong, like I will trip under the Chuppah and the whole structure will collapse on our heads. Or the rabbi will sneeze and spill the wine over me. How am I going to relax enough to be present at my own wedding ceremony?
Answer:
Bad news. It is going to happen. At every wedding something has to go wrong.
Nothing is completely perfect in this world. We live in a world where good and evil constantly battle for control, and so whenever something good is happening, like a wedding, the forces of evil try to stick in their noses and sabotage it.
We can’t expect a glitch-free wedding. So we have a strategy to deal with it. At every Chuppah, we break a glass.
Now imagine if, when the glass was shattered, someone shouted, “Oh no! You just broke a beautiful glass. How terrible!” We would look at him like a madman and say, “What are you talking about? We are at a wedding. Who cares about a glass?” No one is bothered by a glass breaking at such a happy time. In fact, we all say mazel tov immediately after the glass breaks. Because in context, a glass breaking is so insignificant. We are at a wedding, two wonderful people are being united as one. So a glass broke? Big deal. So the flowers didnt arrive in time, big deal. We are present in great everlasting Kedushah, to share in the joining of a previously torn apart Neshamah, the beginning of a new house in Klal Yisroel
This is a great message for the couple to take with them in their future life together. Life is full of glasses breaking, those little and not so little disappointments and setbacks that every person faces. But when you are facing a setback, put it into context. I am standing next to my soulmate, whom I have just married. I am surrounded with so much love and goodness. I am so blessed. So am I really going to let a little broken glass ruin my day?
Glasses will break, at your wedding and in your marriage. But as long as you remember how blessed you are, you can smile all the way through.
Nice. I heard that the reason glass is used is because glass is something that can be reblown and used again. Message being that we have the capablities to fix things if we enlist the help of Hashem. Also, it’s a sign that we temper this moment of such incredible happiness with the sadness of the fact that there’s no Bais Hamikdosh, but we know that just as glass can be reblown and fixed, so too will the B”HMK-IY”H speedily in our time.
Feivel, gorgeous pshat.
I heard pshat once that it’s the last time the Chosson gets to put his foot down…
Ames wow, I’m glad you are ok! That was very thoughtful of you!
Jothar, LOL!
Nice pshat, Feivel.
Is it true they use a light bulb today so the chosson shouldn’t have trouble cracking it?
Ever see the mothers by the tnaim hitting the plate over and over again and it won’t break?
all great posts here
some say:
if the chosson breaks it on the first try, he’s boss. If he misses, she’s boss
(ridiculous)
areivimzehlazeh
Member
all great posts here
some say:
if the chosson breaks it on the first try, he’s boss. If he misses, she’s boss
(ridiculous)
Of course that’s ridiculous! She is boss no matter what.
so a smart guy would put a broken glass. you can’t not break an already broken glass, right? 😉
PY, that happened at my wedding.
The trick is to change the position of the way you are hitting the plate. Usually when they have trouble its because they are smacking the plate on its strongest point, not weakest.
Or that the napkin the plate is wrapped in is folded over, providing added padding and protection
I once was at a chasunah. Took the chosson 6 times to break it. They recommend bringing your own glass, since the caters use thick, break-resistant glass. Same for the tenaim plate.
Jothar, LOLLLL!!!
We should all share simchos!!! Iy’h to all the singles on here!! (and me!!! ;))
hey don’t include me in “the singles!” i have like ten years
Sounds like a death sentence… can’t you plea bargain?
ever watch the machatenistas trying to break the plate…. boy did I ever! and can’t stop laughin! I think that is a scene worth a million words
squeak- lol! very good there
From what I understand it is not preferred to use a light bulb. Unfortunately many non-observant clergy use the “it’s the last time he’ll get to put his foot down” line-it really takes the depth out of the whole purpose of breaking the glass.(but from them not much else is expected-this is pity I’m expressing btw.)
Yasher Koach Feivel.
Feivel- Mazel Tov on your upcoming Chassanah! I am very happy for you, and only wish you much nachas.
Yep, Feivel, I was also going to say we all wish you a Mazel Tov.
Is it true that Joseph is going to be your mesader kiddushin?
Feivel’s really getting married? Mazal tov! I thought he was just throwing out a theoretical question
whoops! 🙂 no prob anytime!!
i once heard a story a guy wasterrified something would go wrong by his chasunah so a guy told him there was someone in yeshiva selling raffle tickets for a menora and the guy bought one so he told him what r the chances of you winning so too there is a slim chance something will go wrong. the guy felt better . a day later he finds out he won the raffle. So he went to R’ moshe wolfson and R’ wolfson told him youre right something will happen but u have to daven thateverything will be ok
1. Mazel Tov Feivel, I hope your wife will support your submissions here about Hashem’s wonderful creatures. I hope you know the real reason for breaking the glass. The photographer got a picture of me under the chuppah with my knee at shoulder height ready to strike.
goody, so did something go wrong at his chuppah?
~a~
Nope
btw feivel mazel tov is actually a bracha but now its time to go back on (off) topic… 🙂
mayan- easy, easy, you wouldn’t want to break her fine Waterford glass, now would you?
I guess, I didn’t want to look like a nebach who couldn’t get it on the first try. I still could have missed the target by just a bit and sent the glass into orbit 🙂 ;
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