Different Pshat on Breaking the Glass at a Chasunah

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  • #589550

    feivel
    Participant

    Question:

    I am getting married in a few weeks and am really excited. But I have this crazy fear that something will go wrong, like I will trip under the Chuppah and the whole structure will collapse on our heads. Or the rabbi will sneeze and spill the wine over me. How am I going to relax enough to be present at my own wedding ceremony?

    Answer:

    Bad news. It is going to happen. At every wedding something has to go wrong.

    Nothing is completely perfect in this world. We live in a world where good and evil constantly battle for control, and so whenever something good is happening, like a wedding, the forces of evil try to stick in their noses and sabotage it.

    We can’t expect a glitch-free wedding. So we have a strategy to deal with it. At every Chuppah, we break a glass.

    Now imagine if, when the glass was shattered, someone shouted, “Oh no! You just broke a beautiful glass. How terrible!” We would look at him like a madman and say, “What are you talking about? We are at a wedding. Who cares about a glass?” No one is bothered by a glass breaking at such a happy time. In fact, we all say mazel tov immediately after the glass breaks. Because in context, a glass breaking is so insignificant. We are at a wedding, two wonderful people are being united as one. So a glass broke? Big deal. So the flowers didnt arrive in time, big deal. We are present in great everlasting Kedushah, to share in the joining of a previously torn apart Neshamah, the beginning of a new house in Klal Yisroel

    This is a great message for the couple to take with them in their future life together. Life is full of glasses breaking, those little and not so little disappointments and setbacks that every person faces. But when you are facing a setback, put it into context. I am standing next to my soulmate, whom I have just married. I am surrounded with so much love and goodness. I am so blessed. So am I really going to let a little broken glass ruin my day?

    Glasses will break, at your wedding and in your marriage. But as long as you remember how blessed you are, you can smile all the way through.

    #640120

    kiruvwife
    Member

    Nice. I heard that the reason glass is used is because glass is something that can be reblown and used again. Message being that we have the capablities to fix things if we enlist the help of Hashem. Also, it’s a sign that we temper this moment of such incredible happiness with the sadness of the fact that there’s no Bais Hamikdosh, but we know that just as glass can be reblown and fixed, so too will the B”HMK-IY”H speedily in our time.

    #640121

    Jothar
    Member

    Feivel, gorgeous pshat.

    I heard pshat once that it’s the last time the Chosson gets to put his foot down…

    #640122

    feivel
    Participant

    kiruv

    i think youre right

    the basic pshat is to recall the Bais HaMikdosh

    #640123

    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Ames wow, I’m glad you are ok! That was very thoughtful of you!

    Jothar, LOL!

    #640124

    Pashuteh Yid
    Member

    Nice pshat, Feivel.

    Is it true they use a light bulb today so the chosson shouldn’t have trouble cracking it?

    Ever see the mothers by the tnaim hitting the plate over and over again and it won’t break?

    #640125

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    all great posts here

    some say:

    if the chosson breaks it on the first try, he’s boss. If he misses, she’s boss

    (ridiculous)

    #640126

    squeak
    Participant

    areivimzehlazeh

    Member

    all great posts here

    some say:

    if the chosson breaks it on the first try, he’s boss. If he misses, she’s boss

    (ridiculous)

    Of course that’s ridiculous! She is boss no matter what.

    #640127

    moish01
    Member

    so a smart guy would put a broken glass. you can’t not break an already broken glass, right? 😉

    #640128

    SJSinNYC
    Member

    PY, that happened at my wedding.

    The trick is to change the position of the way you are hitting the plate. Usually when they have trouble its because they are smacking the plate on its strongest point, not weakest.

    #640129

    Or that the napkin the plate is wrapped in is folded over, providing added padding and protection

    #640130

    Jothar
    Member

    I once was at a chasunah. Took the chosson 6 times to break it. They recommend bringing your own glass, since the caters use thick, break-resistant glass. Same for the tenaim plate.

    #640131

    myshadow
    Member

    Jothar, LOLLLL!!!

    We should all share simchos!!! Iy’h to all the singles on here!! (and me!!! ;))

    #640132

    moish01
    Member

    hey don’t include me in “the singles!” i have like ten years

    #640133

    squeak
    Participant

    Sounds like a death sentence… can’t you plea bargain?

    #640134

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    ever watch the machatenistas trying to break the plate…. boy did I ever! and can’t stop laughin! I think that is a scene worth a million words

    squeak- lol! very good there

    #640136

    kiruvwife
    Member

    From what I understand it is not preferred to use a light bulb. Unfortunately many non-observant clergy use the “it’s the last time he’ll get to put his foot down” line-it really takes the depth out of the whole purpose of breaking the glass.(but from them not much else is expected-this is pity I’m expressing btw.)

    #640137

    Joseph
    Participant

    Yasher Koach Feivel.

    #640138

    Feivel- Mazel Tov on your upcoming Chassanah! I am very happy for you, and only wish you much nachas.

    #640139

    Pashuteh Yid
    Member

    Yep, Feivel, I was also going to say we all wish you a Mazel Tov.

    Is it true that Joseph is going to be your mesader kiddushin?

    #640140

    myshadow
    Member

    Feivel’s really getting married? Mazal tov! I thought he was just throwing out a theoretical question

    #640141

    feivel
    Participant

    my shadow

    no, im not getting married

    it was just a theoretical question

    but thank you for the Mazal Tov

    #640142

    myshadow
    Member

    whoops! 🙂 no prob anytime!!

    #640143

    goody613
    Member

    i once heard a story a guy wasterrified something would go wrong by his chasunah so a guy told him there was someone in yeshiva selling raffle tickets for a menora and the guy bought one so he told him what r the chances of you winning so too there is a slim chance something will go wrong. the guy felt better . a day later he finds out he won the raffle. So he went to R’ moshe wolfson and R’ wolfson told him youre right something will happen but u have to daven thateverything will be ok

    #640144

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    1. Mazel Tov Feivel, I hope your wife will support your submissions here about Hashem’s wonderful creatures. I hope you know the real reason for breaking the glass. The photographer got a picture of me under the chuppah with my knee at shoulder height ready to strike.

    #640145

    anonymisss
    Participant

    goody, so did something go wrong at his chuppah?

    ~a~

    #640146

    goody613
    Member

    Nope

    #640148

    kapusta
    Participant

    btw feivel mazel tov is actually a bracha but now its time to go back on (off) topic… 🙂

    #640149

    areivimzehlazeh
    Participant

    mayan- easy, easy, you wouldn’t want to break her fine Waterford glass, now would you?

    #640150

    Mayan_Dvash
    Participant

    I guess, I didn’t want to look like a nebach who couldn’t get it on the first try. I still could have missed the target by just a bit and sent the glass into orbit 🙂 ;

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