divorced dudes

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    So many divorce topics lately.. i might as well add another.. i hear so many scary stories about marriages that end because of abusive men or men with issues.. im wondering if it ever happens that the girl is at “fault”?.. or if there r any good nice kind sensitive divorced guys out there? i know this question is kinda unfair but as a divorced girl entering the market i need some reassurance.. 🙂 thanx! sorry for offending anyone!


    girls are at least equally at fault, so let us not start blaming the men. usually both sides are at fault.

    beside the point of who’s at fault for the divorce, it seems to me the girls are usually quicker to run for divorce, and that is sad since more times than not it is so unnecessary.


    yes! my BIL was marrried to a girl for 6 months before they realized SHE was abusive. The stuff she did to my BIL was unimaginable. but yes many times a girl is at fault.


    Read what the experts say


    Of course the girl can be at fault/abusive also. The majority of abusers seem to be men, but there are many women who are truly abusive and nasty to their husbands and children. There are lots of sensitive, kind, divorced men who were emotionally, verbally, and/or physically abused by their wives (whom they would not hit back). Usually, the men are embarrassed to admit to being abused (for fear of being called wimps), and they are too kind-hearted to fight back.


    2021- please! Nothing to do with the boys! I know an equal number of cases where the boy or the girl were guilty!

    Hatzlacha to you and may you be happy in the future!

    Pashuteh Yid

    If one partner snubs his nose at things that are important to the other, such as family or hobbies and interests, that is a recipe for disaster. Take an interest in your spouse’s interests and family as if they were your own.


    “im wondering if it ever happens that the girl is at “fault”?..

    You kidding me??? I know many nasty, abusive and “having issues” women. Women can be even worse than men. I don’t really think it goes according to your gender. There are mean women as there are wicked men. We shall never know of these things.


    wow! thanks everyone! unfortunately, its so nice to hear..

    truth- thanks-where do i find these experts?

    oomis- really? lots? they sounds amazing- where do i find them? 🙂


    s2021: Read up about it. See what the frum shrinks say


    FAULT? People, besides extreme cases of abuse and mental illness, it is the most unhelpful thing to assign blame. A relationship is a two way street and a delicate balance of two people who either have bad habits or allow bad habits to continue. Assigning blame just takes away responsibility from whoever thinks they aren’t ‘guilty’ and then noone works on the marriage…please, take away the word fault, or, for that matter, stop discussing private things that have NO toeles in a public forum!!!!!


    ramat take a chill pill


    Ramat, you seem pretty worked up. We are talking about divorced people not married people. In a marriage there is still hope to fix it, so we wouldn’t place blame, but by they time they are divorced there is definately someone to blame. Not to say there aren’t times they are both at fault, but there is usually one side more at fault. (I’m sure whatever side you know would say the other side is at fault.)


    My husband’s best friend is divorced less than a year after he got married. The stereotype that divorced men are always the bad guy is KILLING his shidduch chances. Abuse is a very extreme scenario in general. Most of the time, both sides are at fault. My husband’s friend is one of the nicest guys we know, and admits that he made some mistakes in his first marriage. His ex-wife also contributed to the break-up, probably more than he did, but he does not go around blaming her for his problems- he has worked on himself so that he’ll get it right the next time. Unfortunately, too many people pass up this gem of a guy because of stereotypes and unfair assumptions, and it’s heartbreaking to watch.

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