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MiddlePath, someone will be very lucky to have you as a husband one day.
In our home, we all wash dishes, wash and fold laundry. why not? best chinuch there is.
when we were first married we did not have a washing machine so my husband used to bring the wash to the laundramat.
you help if your wife needs it. though i believe this sis a bit one-sided, as ive never heard of a woman helping to shlepp succah boards. and i do cook and wash dishes ans sponge every darn week. its tough- but the smile makes it worth it.
anonymisss- I have been telling Middlepath that for a while now. Now lets just wait for the day!
I dont expect my husband to do laundry but why not wash dishes once in a while or clean up the toys….
I have a couple of years though until I can ask him to do those chores.
Hi Goq,
I still share the laundry responsibilities. I try to do more than my wife.
My wife will testify that the washing machine, dryer, dishwasher have become good reliable ‘friends’ of mine. I also scrub down the pots and pans, cooktop, crockpot, etc…, change diapers …
“MiddlePath, someone will be very lucky to have you as a husband one day.”
Agreed!
My wife doesn’t let me do any of the regular chores like washing dishes and doing laundry. However, I do the sponga every week (without being asked) and its considerably tough. I agree with those saying that some chores are women’s jobs and some are men’s. Basically, chores that women are more comfortable doing, women should be doing lekatchila and vice-versa. In a sha’as hadchak, you should obviously lend a hand.
I think men’s jobs generally include taking out the garbage, fixing things, paying bills, and that’s aside for working really hard to be the bread winner of the family. Different situations obviously have different arrangements.
Not only do I do laundry, but each of my sons had to show me their capability of doing laundry.
” Bump of the day. “
Always a pleasure to see old threads revived, GOQ. But its still not July / August, so for the moment, my answer is no, not usually.
(but it is almost time to revive the bike riding threads!)
anonymisss and No One Mourns, thank you, I very much appreciate that.
I don’t like the idea that there are chores considered “not for men”. It is a husband’s job to do anything for his wife to make her happy, and that would include any chore considered “not for men”. Obviously, if someone’s wife doesn’t want him to do a certain chore, then he shouldn’t.
I do laundry, as do all of my kids — of both genders.
The Wolf
MiddlePath, are there any clones of you around? More than one girl should be worthy of getting a husband like yourself! It’s so refreshing hearing you speak the way you do.
Is MiddlePath’s idea really that much of a Chiddush? I thought everyone took that as a Davar Pashut. Wow. I feel really bad for what has happened to us if it’s really considered something incredible to help out your wife if she needs it.
Thank you so much, keepingbusy. I’m sure there are plenty of wonderful guys out there.
Sam, you’re right, it really should not be so surprising. I think just about everyone does think like this, but when such a situation actually takes place, some people suddenly decide that their own needs surpass the needs of their spouse.
Before a husband does housework he should be matneh that it’s for chessed (which it is). Otherwise, it’s a reversal of gender roles, pas nisht and probably assur.
@Loyal Jew
“Before a husband does housework he should be matneh that it’s for chessed (which it is). Otherwise, it’s a reversal of gender roles, pas nisht and probably assur.”
Then for the man not to work and for the woman to work, is also ossur, since that is most definitely a reversal of gender roles as well.
Anyway, the way we do it, it’s pretty equal. Usually my wife puts the laundry in the machine and turns it on; I take it out and hang it. Then either of us takes it down and she folds it.
Similar story in the kitchen: most often I cook, but she does the dishes.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. I just hate folding laundry and doing dishes, so we’re pretty much equal in the house.
I don’t even think I do very much at all. She spends more time cleaning the house than I do. Once we will have children ??”? I should be doing much more in the house – basically all of it!
(By the way, we both work – I full time, she part time.)
@Gatesheader — What non-working men did you mean? Not avreichim, I hope. They work plenty… A man who doesn’t learn *and* doesn’t work can’t solve that by “becoming” his wife and letting her “become” him r”l.
Before a husband does housework he should be matneh that it’s for chessed (which it is). Otherwise, it’s a reversal of gender roles, pas nisht and probably assur.
Yet another proof that I am the lowest human being on the planet. I attempt to help my wife and, in fact, I’m committing a sin — spitting in God’s face, so to speak.
I am the lowest, most vile person on the planet.
The Wolf
they definitely should help!!! especially if their wife is working all day!!!
” I am the lowest, most vile person on the planet. “
If you wear a snood and housecoat while doing the laundry, I might have to agree with you (extra sins earned if the snood covers your ears).
Otherwise, relax. You’re in good company, Wolf.
Loyal Jew: Source that “reversing gender roles” is Assur please.
No, since they never change anyway. lol
@Loyal Jew
“@Gatesheader — What non-working men did you mean? Not avreichim, I hope. They work plenty… A man who doesn’t learn *and* doesn’t work can’t solve that by “becoming” his wife and letting her “become” him r”l.”
Yes, I was indeed talking about avreichim.
OK, so, for the record, we disagree. We disagree now, we’ll disagree tomorrow, and probably forever. Let’s focus on other things now. 🙂
i have the solution….. GET A DISHWASHER!!!!
On what setting in the dishwasher do you wash wrinkle free shirts?
Sam2, my source is Ma’ase Bereishis, where Adam and Chava were told what their roles are. Of course we should help our wives, but as chessed, not as a reversal of roles. And Gatesheader, avreichim sustain the world. We “working” people exist by their zchus. You can disagree with me, but what about Chazal and the rabonim down to our times?
Loyal Jew: See Rashi Yoma 20b D”H Ee Tagras and you might have to rethink your definition of the “Issur of reversing gender roles”.
Also, every working Talmid Chacham should be offended by what you said. Many of Chazal and a good number of Rishonim, Acharonim, and Poskim also had to have a job to support themselves and their families so that they could learn. They are M’kayeim the world just as much as someone who is fortunate enough to be able to afford to learn in Yeshivah/Kollel all day.
my source is Ma’ase Bereishis, where Adam and Chava were told what their roles are.
Ah, so when I cook, not only is it a sin, but it’s also a reversal of the natural order of the world. That, if memory serves me correctly, was one of the tactics that Pharaoh used to try to destroy the Jewish people (assigned tasks traditionally associated with women to men and vice versa).
So not only am I sinning by cooking, but I’m actually destroying the natural order of the world and following in the footsteps of one of the wickedest people in the history of the planet.
I’m such a vile, despicable excuse for a human being. How is it that you people who live in Brooklyn haven’t come to my house to lynch me for my extreme rishus yet? I’m certainly a greater threat to the kedusha of your neighborhood than any TV, Internet site, or anything else you spend hours and hours harping on about. Or does “U’Viarta HaRa Mikirbecha” mean nothing to you?
The Wolf
“when I cook, not only is it a sin, but it’s also a reversal of the natural order of the world.”
“How is it that you people who live in Brooklyn haven’t come to my house to lynch me for my extreme rishus yet?”
Same rule the applies to laundry applies to cooking. As long as you don’t cross the snood / housecoat threshold, I’ll still vouch for you, Wolf (green meatballs included).
Where in the Torah does it say what Adam and Chava’s respective roles were? All it says is childbirth for Chava and working for Adam, if I remember correctly.
So women working is really gender role switching min hatorah.
Loyal Jew = Joseph
heads up
Hi LoyalJew: “where Adam and Chava were told what their roles are. Of course we should help our wives, but as chessed, not as a reversal of roles”
So then, what are Bochurim/Bachelors doing by doing their own laundry, cooking their own meals, vacuuming the house? Does the “din” of the laundry machine change when a person gets married?
It’s not a question of gender roles. If something needs to be done, and no one else is around to help out, the young man does it.
It says the Mitzrim forced us in a gender-reversal role. So the concept of defined gender-roles certainly is true. (What they are is a discussion for itself.)
So when you get married, suddenly everything that you had to do for yourself is entirely your wife’s job because she is a woman?
I was doing my own laundry before I married, why should I change? Our youngest is 18, so everyone in the family does their own laundry.
I do the bed linens and wife does the table linens. We all have our own bathrooms, so we all do our own towels.
Guest linen is usually done by the person who invited the guest(s) usually one of our daughters.
I cook, and youngest daughter does the dishes (I do the heavy pots) Mrs. shouldn’t have to damage her nails doing dishes (and at her age she can have long natural nails).
The cleaning lady cleans and the gardener takes care of the yard. I vacuum and take care of pool chemicals, as well as maintain the hot tub.
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