Do we KNOW there is a “shidduch crisis”?

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Viewing 22 posts - 1 through 22 (of 22 total)
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  • #1714040

    whoknows26
    Participant

    Since becoming involved in shidduchim, I’ve heard many people speaking about the “crisis” and the shortage of guys. Where are people getting this? Is there actually any data???
    Would love to hear people’s thoughts.

    #1714056

    Joseph
    Participant

    The ONLY real solution to the shidduch crisis of their being too few men looking for marriage and too many women looking, is for the restoration of plural marriage where men can have multiple wives.

    (This post is l”kovod DY. Obsessed, DY ObSeSsEd. 😉

    #1714182

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Joseph, since when are you a radical feminist? Only radical feminists support polygyny.

    #1714210

    Why_question
    Participant
    #1714209

    cholentandkugel
    Participant

    yes its obvious there is a shidduch crisis with the amount of single women much more than single men i think the reason is because boys dont start shidduchim until their at least 23 lets all join the nasi movement

    #1714269

    The little I know
    Participant

    Here we go again. The issue requires a study that contains real and valid data, and there are still multiple questions about what to measure and how. Until then, the discussion of a crisis is unverified, and becomes a hot topic like anti-vax, LT, and many others that grace the CR.

    As for the individual needing a shidduch, there was a “bas kol” that stated who someone’s partner in life will be, and it is only incumbent that one pursue it. Tefiloh helps, and so does hishtadlus. At that point, HKB”H takes the lead role.

    I continue to find the discussions on this site about the “shidduch crisis” just a chance to post strongly worded comments that push an agenda, are degrading to others, all which are completely useless.

    #1714290

    Why_question
    Participant

    I agree that without data the conversations dont mean that much. Apparently some other people agree too – there is a study going on now trying to collect real data – see link I posted above. Accordingly to the article they are basically just asking about age, gender and whether people got married. What do you think they should be measuring?

    #1714300

    YossefD
    Participant

    On the scene, looking to match with zivug shani can affirm seems many women available, very few of not only us gentleman,of single frum Jewish guys overall..
    Joseph from your lips….

    #1714370

    whoknows26
    Participant

    @yossefd @why_question @cholentandkugel – How about, do we know that there is actually a shortage of men???
    Why are we causing girls coming out of High-school to worry about their future when we don’t have any REAL data? Maybe there is just the perception of a shortage which is snowballing…

    Hard to believe data is just being collected now!

    #1714514

    Joseph
    Participant

    If we lack official data we should do nothing and let the problem linger and get worse since we don’t have absolute proof?

    #1714540

    ZionGate
    Participant

    Why can’t I trust my eyes? I’ve written before what I observe in my neighborhood, and it’s most probably true in others as well. Who’s going to give data? We’re going to knock on singles’s doors and ask questions? Then we’ll question the data , interpret it and disagree over it.
    I agree with Little I Know.. There are singles reading stuff and they’re live humans.. If we have nothing constructive to help, then it’s better we don’t keep talking about it.

    #1714541

    ZionGate
    Participant

    …but disagree with him on verification…
    We Jews are despite our differences, aware of what’s going on in our communities.. I’m getting hung up on the word ” crisis.”
    Can we say it’s a significant issue?
    Agree with Joseph.

    #1714579

    Joseph
    Participant

    “Agree with Joseph.”

    Finally someone courageous enough to publicly agree with my proposal to reinstate plural marriages.

    Yasher Koach, ZionGate! We have to start talking to the rabbonim to encourage them to sign a Kol Koreh permitting this again, much like how NASI went to them to get a Kol Koreh to have boys start getting married younger.

    😁

    #1714619

    ZionGate
    Participant

    Joseph,
    Good for you that you’d be able to withstand more than 1 wife, not me. I mean, she’s great and everything, but…. you know. As for boys marrying younger, I’m coming around to believe it’s not a bad idea after all.

    #1714692

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Plural marriage favors the woman too much, because less desirable men get left behind entirely when women can just choose to marry a better man who already has a wife.

    #1715212

    lakewhut
    Participant

    Yes. Now it’s the guys who aren’t the “top bochur”, who got the rich girl.

    #1716494

    Why_question
    Participant
    #1716755

    ujm
    Participant

    The survey is voluntary, self-selected and web-based, so it is highly doubtful it is scientific or representative of anything.

    #1716857

    Why_question
    Participant

    I don’t think it’s that bad. Not sure why web bad is an issue but voluntary/self selected can lead to representativeness issues. I think they are trying to get around that by asking for family members info and treating each family member as separate data points. I’m not sure they are doing this but in theory they can also just not count the responder and just count the family members. There are also statistical methods I assume they know about that can be used to increase representativeness for potentially biased samples such as weighting by known parameters etc. if you are interested you can probably email them to ask for specific methods. I think this is an imperfect but decent start and am kind of excited about this: I think this is the first time people are even trying to get real data about this subject

    #1717100

    kingdavid
    Participant

    There’s no such thing as a shidduch crisis. Know how I know? Because we believe in something called hashgacha pratis. It’s one of the key components of emunah. It means that Hashem has a unique, very individualized plan for every member of Klal Yisrael, and He watches over each person and orchestrates events so that His plan will unfold for that person exactly as He intended, at the time He intended. That means that nothing and no one can stop Hashem from doing exactly as He plans for each person. That means that no human on earth can tell you the path your life will take.

    #1717275

    whoknows26
    Participant

    I’m still not convinced there IS a crisis, but it seems like this survey/research project is a good thing, and can help clarify what is ACTUALLY going on . @kingdavid – wouldn’t you agree that Hashem wants us to do our hishtadlus? It seems like this is what these people are trying to do. I don’t think they are trying to play Gd.
    Obviously things will unfold the way Hashem wants them too, but like making a parnassa, we are EXPECTED to do OUR part!

    #1717327

    Makes
    Participant

    Kingdavid if the rabonim would think like you they wouldnt create the monogamy gzeira… They woul think that there was no problem to resolve because of hashgocha pratis…

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