Do your children drive you nuts?

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  • #601007

    well mine do.

    Want me to prove it? Well who wouldn’t be nuts after you see your 3 year old drinking water out of the toilet? Or on another ocassion I had a hunch she was up to something in the bathroom, and I was right! She was filling up my good Ros Hommerson shabbos shoes with water. Oy vey.

    i recently woke up to “haircuts”. Yep. one of them found scissors and gave everybody hair cuts. They all keep blaming one another so I can’t figure out who did it. But all I know is that the top half of their head now looks like a boys hair or like they got in a fight with a lawn mower.

    Or how about a can of AJAX? That sounds fun right? Well my 3 year old thought so too. Last night she dumped the whole thing all over the kitchen and was running her hands through it like sand play.

    Every day I never know whats going to be. WHen I get them off the school bus I feel dread, fear and panic. I feel I want to run away. Does parenting ever get easier? Will they ever stop trying to open second story windows while standing in an unsecure window ready to fall out while they yell out to the neighbors kids?

    WHy when I get them home after the school day do they do nothing but fight with each other and demand what they want from me? MOmmmmmy give me paper…mommy I want to make a picture…mommmmmy I neeeeeeed Paper. MOmmmmmy chani hits me. MOmmmmmy I need chips. I neeeeed a botty…..MOmmmmy I want to help you make supper…Ok here peel this cucumber. I give them a peeler hoping it’ll make them happy. That last 5 mins (all the while they are fighting over who has more) and then I am left with odd shaped pieces that put my gourment salad to shame and a huge mess, and look! They’re already off….running around with that knife. Oh no, look, the other one is putting a garbage bag over a kitchen cabinet which fell off its hinges. ? WHY?

    Just somebody tell me what to do? They make me nuts.

    #1193446

    RABBAIM
    Participant

    Thank Hashem you have normal healthy children. Daven for all those who don’t yet have children to be zoche to have your problems!!

    #1193447

    golden mom
    Member

    lol r u serious or have u been watching my house @ night thru some camrea!?

    #1193448

    smartcookie
    Member

    What? That is totally weird. My kids are always oh very calm, neat, so well behaved, derech eretz’dig, NEVER do they fight. You must be a terrible mom. Neva heard of such a thing 😉

    #1193449

    golden mom, if its true that other mothers go through this also, how come they look so normal? I am serious. tell me plz. My neighbors walk pushing carriages with clean kids, and she may be looking stylish herself. THey may even look like the kids are under control on the street. Well behaved. I feel like my kids are really leibedig. And I think its genetic. How come I feel like I am the only lady who is complaining? How come everybody else takes it in stride? Or do you also feel like crying?

    #1193450

    TheGoq
    Participant

    I am unable to have children so pardon me if i have little sympathy for your problem.

    #1193451

    golden mom
    Member

    those pp might appear to be calm but a how much help do they get and when u see them calm they r not out with all there kids

    it might help if u need to go out or to accomplish in the house that what ever u do stops half hr before ur first bus (not always possible but try it will make all the diffrence) set a timer/alarm for 5 min bf the first bus and lie down u will be able to great ur children refreashed and have more patience to conquer the night

    #1193452

    golden mom
    Member

    so sorry goq dont know what to say

    #1193453

    TheGoq
    Participant

    Thank you Golden.

    #1193454

    maybe i will try to contemplate what it must feel like to think I want kids’ shenanigans and couldn’t have? in order to appreciate. Yeah, I guess it works. Goq, i dont know what to say to you.

    I want to say something to take your pain away, but there is nothing I can say that will. I am sorry for your lot. And sorry to have complained.

    #1193455

    oomis
    Participant

    The tafkid of a child is to drive his/her parents crazy. Some are bigger chassidim to this than others.

    #1193456

    a mamin
    Participant

    It definitely gets easier, they eventually grow up. You know the old saying, kleina kinder kleiner daagos, groisa kinder groisa daagas! Enjoy every minute of it. As far as The Goq is concerned: There really are no words that can adequately suffice for the pain in your heart. Only Hakadush Baruch Hu can ease your pain.I certainly hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel!

    #1193457

    a mamin
    Participant

    It definitely gets easier, they eventually grow up. You know the old saying, kleina kinder kleiner daagos, groisa kinder groisa daagas! Enjoy every minute of it. As far as The Goq is concerned: There really are no words that can adequately suffice for the pain in your heart. Only Hakadush Baruch Hu can ease your pain.I certainly hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel!

    #1193458

    wanderingchana
    Participant

    Always runs… when these things happen, I try to remind myself: B”H they’re normal!!

    That doesn’t make it easier on a day-to-day basis, though. The put-together moms probably have hours of help every week. (And don’t forget, if their kids are strapped into the stroller, they’re not dumping things on the kitchen floor, for the moment at least). My house… forget it.

    When my kids were little, I had child-proof locks on all cabinets and window guards on the second floor windows (google Guardian Angel Window Guard). But that doesn’t mean they didn’t get into things.

    Once a friend had something urgent and I took her two kids, my daughter’s age (2ish) and 4 months old. The 4 mo was fussy and I was trying to entertain her at the piano. Suddenly I realized the older girls were awfully quiet. They were quietly and happily sitting on the hardwood kitchen floor, smearing themselves, each other and the floor with Desitin. The hardwood floor had cracks that took a toothbrush to clean the Desitin out of. 🙂

    Another time I was in the basement checking laundry. Suddenly I heard the thump-thump-thump-thump-thump of someone running from the kitchen to their room. Someone knew they were in trouble. I went up to the kitchen to find the eggs I had set out to make brownies, smashed on the (again, hardwood) floor. They look like balls, right? And when the first one doesn’t bounce, you’d want to see if the other one would, right?

    Time to get out the tootbrush again…

    #1193460

    Imaofthree
    Participant

    Ajax and all other cleansers should be in a locked cabinet out of reach of small children.

    Maybe you could get a teenage girl to help you during “crazy time” in your house. Some schools have a program and they send girls to help out families.

    #1193461

    TheGoq
    Participant

    Thank you scissors i didnt mean to come down so hard on you im sorry, Thank you so much a mamin,

    I’ve known from a very young age that i would not be able to have children i was born with several defects B”H none too bad i have been on medications most of my life it’s just something i have to deal with.

    #1193463

    snjn
    Member

    There are some things you can do to have a some normalcy in the house. 1)preventive measures. Scissors and ajax should not be accessible to kids at all. Lock some cabinets if need be. All detergents and all sharp things should be locked up. 2)read the book ” 1 2 3 magic” to give you some idea of having some house rules and how to enforce them. 3) plan ahead. You know they are coming home at a set time. Have drinks and snacks ready. Be willing to go play with them on the floor with toys. You basically have to teach them what it means to play with toys that are age appropriate. Be willing to devote the time when they are home to positive and meaningful interactions with them instead of leaving it up to themselves how to entertain themselves. 4) I reiterate: there must be clear house rules that will be enforced. Not taking your clothing or shoes is one of them. As much as these actions are normal in every household with kids, it’s not normal if this is your daily life. You can take steps to change it but it has to be done with planning and thought. Good luck!

    #1193465

    Jothar
    Member

    Insanity is hereditary…you get it from your kids.

    #1193466

    a mamin
    Participant

    Always runs: It is very important for you to have time for yourself, if you don’t, you better start now. You need to have time to recharge…

    Don’t worry, Gam Zeh Yaavor! If you feel you still can’t manage , don’t be ashamed get help!!There are many people out there who can help you!

    Hatzlocha!

    I once read a letter sent to Rebetzin Yungreis, it was from a mother who said she can’t manage she wants to run away… Someone else replied for the Rebetzin. She said that she is the other woman every one envies. She works in the financial district making a 6 figure salary. Is there something to envy? No absolutely not, she said that her co workers were extremely intimidated from her Shabbos observance. She claims in the BIG world out there, they really are anti semetic and don’t appreciate religious Jews. She also stated that fertility drugs cost a fortune, that that is where all her husbands and her salary goes. She described in detail all the procedures both her husband and her have taken. How everyone looks at her husband in Shul, why is he limping again.Then she says” You feel like running away, run very far, because you don’t deserve your children!”

    That letter shook me up so much, I was never able to complain about my kids again!

    #1193468

    amichai
    Participant

    first of all, wishing you hatzlocha and lots of patience!

    try to put away all markers, scissors, things you really do not want the kids to get into.if your kids are still quite young, it’s going to be hard to have a rest and not expect them to get into trouble. kids are curious and need to be watched. thats our responsibility. sometimes if a child will have a good meal after school , they might be a little calmer. if you can sit with them for 20 min. and really give them your attention, that might also calm them. just because you see pple outside with their kids that are tidy and obedient, does not mean they are a better mother. some kids need more activity. maybe bike riding, skates, rolling in the leaves, let them get out their energy in a good way and enjoy them!

    #1193469

    apushatayid
    Participant

    B”H, all day, every day.

    #1193470

    crdle
    Member

    Sorry to heart GOQ. at first i was puzzled, since I thought ur not married . I hope u only have simcha in your life!

    #1193471

    Goq are you female?

    #1193472

    smartcookie
    Member

    When we say our children give us a hard time, it doesn’t mean we’re complaining. Kids are meant to be hard. That’s why they need parents to help them grow into mentchen.

    It doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate them. We love them, but sometimes they can really take out every bit left of us!

    #1193473

    TheGoq
    Participant

    No scissors i am male, infertility is not just about women.

    #1193474

    Goq , of course it isn’t …thats why I wanted to know . I alwasys thought of you as a male Goq and then I asked myself why. I realized it was possible you’re female.

    #1193475

    MiddlePath
    Participant

    Goq, I’m so sorry. Just know that you are a terrific guy no matter what.

    #1193476

    TheGoq
    Participant

    Thank you Middlepath that means alot, no problem scissors.Thank you Cradle.

    #1193477

    Hey jothar- the saying really says

    “Nachas is hereditary-you get it from your kids”

    #1193478

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    I heart the OP’s OP.

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