August 21, 2014 12:08 am at 12:08 am #613469
Does anyone here know real mekuballim in NY that don’t charge money that I can talk to on the phone or by appointment? I am in a very difficult life situation right now and I need help. Thankyou!August 21, 2014 12:20 am at 12:20 am #1029358squeakParticipant
I am one, but I charge extra because of my convenient location. Still comes out cheaper than flying to Israel AND buying snake oil.August 21, 2014 12:42 am at 12:42 am #1029359Shmelka.GoldmanMember
Reb Nochum cohen from Eretz Yisroel is going to be in Bergenfield Nj on Monday 29 Av 5774August 21, 2014 1:13 am at 1:13 am #1029360
Can I have the phone #s of the mekubalim who don’t charge money?August 21, 2014 1:20 am at 1:20 am #1029361Git MeshigeParticipant
Yes. I know a very good one. He doesn’t charge any money whatsoever. He is always available for you , no matter when you want to speak to him. He is guaranteed to help you in every which way. Is is merciful and for real. His name is G-DAugust 21, 2014 1:33 am at 1:33 am #1029362
Don’t put your hope in these people. Daven, be ????? in your performance of Mitzvos, and, if you need advice, talk to your Rav. He is (most likely) very experienced, and has your best interests at heart.
If you need professional help, by all means, get a good social worker or psychologist.
Do not waste your time and money chasing the quick fix. It is a scam.
This is not to say that all Mekubalim are evil swindlers. But then again, I never heard of Rav Yisrael Elya Weintraub zt”l, or lhavdil bein chayim l’chayim, Rav Yaakov Hillel shlita, cooking lead soup…August 21, 2014 6:42 am at 6:42 am #1029363YW Moderator-42Moderator
This is a great solution to the shidduch crisis. All older girls should become mekubalot, then the boys will come to them.August 21, 2014 8:56 am at 8:56 am #1029364EY YidMember
Rav Shimshon Dovid Pincus told the story of a man in Ofakim who was never blessed with children. The man spent a lot of time and a lot of money running to every Rebbe, Rosh Yeshiva and Mekubal in EY seeking a brocha for children and nothing helped.
The man came crying to Rav Pincus about his situation and Rav Pincus yelled, “OK enough. You have run to everyone in the world for a bracha EXCEPT HASHEM.” He grabbed the man and threw him in his car. Rav Pincus drove him to the middle of nowhere in the Negev and said the following: “I promise you that if you spend the next two hours screaming to Hashem with all of your heart, Hashem will bless you with a child.”
Rav Pincus returned in two hours to pick up his friend. Within a year they celebrated Hashem’s blessing of a child to this man.
Git Meshige is right!!!August 21, 2014 12:07 pm at 12:07 pm #1029365The little I knowParticipant
I know two “mekubalim” in Brooklyn. One has spent time in jail for federal offenses including selling drugs. The other is busy looking for someone of the opposite gender to offer him services when his wife is unavailable.
The commenter about Rav Pincus is spot on. We have been guided by Gedolei Yisroel to stay away from those who practice “kabala maasis”. Their guidance is critical. There may be mekubalim around, but you will NOT find them in the Jewish telephone books, nor will they advertise their services through posters and the media (as someone in the service industry might do). They will be busy concentrating on their Avodas Hashem, with zero effort or time invested in marketing or otherwise pushing the agenda of seeking attention.
I second the motion of Rav Pincus. Try G-d. Anything that you might get in terms of advice or segulos would need to come from Him anyway. Go to the Source.August 21, 2014 5:00 pm at 5:00 pm #1029367Little FroggieMember
Then there is this other aspect too. Sometimes a genuine Tzaddik and Mekubal can effect a change, a miracle, an alteration to some bad decree, but he won’t truly know the whole person, and what after effects it will bring on. Lots of stories abound of people who after their own Manhing, Rebbe couldn’t or refused to intercede, went to other TRUE Tzaddikim and Rebbes and in fact did effect a Yeshua, only to have a worse setback later on.
If you have a Manhig, Rebbe, Rov, stick with him (asei lecha rav), and stick with YOUR BEST FRIEND – HASHEM (reacha v’rea avicha)August 22, 2014 2:27 am at 2:27 am #1029368Francorachel3Participant
Why doesn’t everyone have the same attitude when it comes to the Shidduch “crisis?!” Why is it then ok to run after every Shadchan, think up every kind of age-related and other ridiculous “solutions” and everything else people do to jump thru hoops thinking it will help get them married? It all comes down to the same, shadchanim, mekubalim, etc are all not the so,union. Only tefillah and Hashem are.August 22, 2014 3:52 am at 3:52 am #1029369
Interesting point. I’m tired so i wont be as concise and i may ramble a bit but im pretty sure the answer to your questions in here somewhere.
We know theres something called hishtadlus- going thru the motions of doing what you can. Noones says you shouldnt daven for shidduch “help”. In fact, many people think doing every segulah in the book (that book wud make a killing) and running to every man with a beard for a bracha is also nuts. Just be a good jew, pray, have bitachon, do your hishtadlus and let hashem take care of everything.
SOMEONE PLEASE CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG- Hishtadlus means doing something reasonable al pi tevah. We have our gedolim with our mesorah and they feel that mekubalim aren’t our way. There are a couple of stories of gedoylim that cudve been saved by mekubalim and disregarded that. If it is your mesorah then enjoy.
Now fixing the shidduch “crisis” is an obligation on us for a hishtadlus reasons. Rechnitz isnt using shaimos of the tzitz and toads. All al pi tevah.
DISCLAIMER: i just reread this and it’s terribly confusing but im to tired to do abetter job sorry. frown face.August 22, 2014 4:37 am at 4:37 am #1029370
Person has problem. Person goes to mekubal. Mekubal takes large sum of money up front, and advises ridiculous solution. Person (with brain firmly turned off) follows inane (or worse) advice, and has nothing to show for it but an invoice from Mekubalim ‘R’ Us.
Person needs shidduch. Person contacts shadchan, who takes nothing, but offers possible shidduch(im). Person thoroughly researches prospective match(es) before meeting. Shadchan gets paid only if shidduch is successful.
You ask, “What’s the difference?” I ask, “What’s the similarity?”
As far as the segulah craze, a very serious case can be made that the current practice among many people is barely distinguishable from avodah zara. That is not hyperbole or rhetoric; it is the sober opinion of many leading poskim. It’s time to put an end to “Vending-machine Judaism” and start recognizing that Hashem controls us, we don’t control Him.August 22, 2014 4:39 am at 4:39 am #1029371YW Moderator-29 👨💻Moderator
I thought those shadchanim charge up front for their time.August 22, 2014 4:43 am at 4:43 am #1029372
That is not hyperbole or rhetoric; it is the sober opinion of many leading poskim.
and although what youre saying about fake mekubalim is true, i still think theres problem going to real mekubalim. i think you think so too.August 22, 2014 1:20 pm at 1:20 pm #1029374DaMosheParticipant
I know of one real mekubal in NY. He’s the real deal. How do I know this? Because he doesn’t advertise what he does anywhere. He doesn’t ask for a penny from anyone. He lives with next to nothing, yet he’s the happiest person I know. But the thing that convinces me the most is that whenever I’ve asked him for advice, it was never some crazy response. Everything he told me had a source. He would quote Shas, Rishonim, Acharonim, and many different sifrei Kaballah. None of the solutions seemed like some crazy voodoo thing. It was just things you’d know should be done, but you might not think of it. For example, he once told me to have more concentration on certain parts of davening. Yes, we should all be concentrating intently while davening, but how many of us really are? So I was told to concentrate on one specific piece. Guess what? It helped with what I had asked about. I didn’t have to eat or drink anything crazy. I didn’t have to wear anything extra. I just needed to concentrate while speaking with Hashem. That’s the Torah way!
A real mekubal is someone who does it properly. It says Kaballah shouldn’t be learned until you’ve spent years learning everything else. A real mekubal should be extremely well-versed in Tanach, Shas, and Rishonim. Unfortunately, many of them aren’t.August 22, 2014 2:52 pm at 2:52 pm #1029375R.T.Participant
All one has to do is open up a Siddur or a Tehillim and pray with real intent to the all-merciful G-d, blessed be his name forever and forever.
No gimmicks, no tricks, no extra fees.
Hatzlacha Rabba.August 22, 2014 3:04 pm at 3:04 pm #1029376Little FroggieMember
Mods thought yesterday that I was one…, BH removed!!August 22, 2014 4:03 pm at 4:03 pm #1029377
For example, he once told me to have more concentration on certain parts of davening.
I hear. I think i’d go to someone like this bishas hadchak.August 22, 2014 4:40 pm at 4:40 pm #1029378
DaMoshe, who is that person that you are talking about? I am really desperate please tell me.August 24, 2014 3:20 pm at 3:20 pm #1029379DaMosheParticipant
BatMelech: sorry, I highly doubt he’d want his info plastered all over the internet.August 24, 2014 5:38 pm at 5:38 pm #1029380golferParticipant
BatMelech, it sounds like you’re in a difficult situation, and I really feel for you.
I’m not sure why you think that you need to get help from a “mekubal”.
I see others have already lectured you on the power of Tefillah. And I know that when a person is in a tzarah, sometimes it’s hard to daven. That’s why others are encouraged to daven for a choleh.
It’s understandable that you may be looking for a human connection, but does it have to be someone who you think is a “mekubal”?
Is there a Rav that you turn to with questions in Halacha, or a Rav that you know from wherever you went to school or where you daven, that you can call now? A Rav does not have to advertise his proficiency in the study of Kabbalah to be wise, caring and helpful.
And there’s also no reason that it has to be a man. A Rebbetzin or mechaneches can be a good person to talk to as well.August 24, 2014 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm #1029381
Learn Rav Yaakov Hillel’s sefer ???? ????. He clearly shows exactly where all of this segulah chasing belongs in the perspective of a Torah Jew.
I doubt that: 1)The Poskim I referred to would appreciate having their names posted here, and 2)You would take my word for their opinion even if I did tell you their names.
By all means, find whoever you consider to be leading Poskim, and get their opinion firsthand, like I did.
Let me know what you find.
Of course, I agree that there is a problem with going to a Mekubal even if they are “real”. The point here is that this is not the approach to life that is recommended by HKB”H in the Torah. It is a way of life that is not really even sanctioned in the Torah.
It happens to be that the problem is usually compounded by the corrupt exploiters who cause terrible harm while taking people’s money.
The Chofetz Chaim, with all of his legendary ???? ?????, was famously reluctant to grant berachos because of the fear that the supplicant would “take it easy.”
Oh and by the way, Mod-29, I have dealt with many of the famous shadchanim and none of them ever contemplated taking money up-front. The ones who do should be avoided like the plague. Do not even engage them in friendly conversation – it can be very costly.
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