May 23, 2013 4:39 am at 4:39 am #609405
Its taken for granted in Yidrishkiet that part of the religion today is the shidduch crisis. So if you don’t believe in it are you a koifer?May 23, 2013 5:02 am at 5:02 am #954270MammeleParticipant
If you’re an unmarried guy I’d say it comes with the territory.,.May 23, 2013 5:05 am at 5:05 am #954271mopMember
no, just a fool.May 23, 2013 11:57 am at 11:57 am #954272squeakParticipant
There are problems in the shidduch scene, I don’t think anyone pretends otherwise. Maybe some would hesitate to call it a crisis, but that is semantics. Did you mean to ask whether its kefirah to deny the popular explanations as to the cause? I’d have to pull a Wolf if you did.May 23, 2013 1:59 pm at 1:59 pm #954273akupermaParticipant
NO, it means you believe in statistics.
The only person who had a serious problem finding a shiduch was Adam Ha-Rishon, and Ha-Shem had to intervene to resolve the matter.
Everyone has a shiduch crisis, until they get married. No exception. No hiddush.May 23, 2013 6:07 pm at 6:07 pm #954274
WIY, what exactly is it that you don’t believe?May 23, 2013 6:28 pm at 6:28 pm #954275yytzParticipant
What percentage of women or men need to be unmarried at what age for there to be a crisis? What do you think the current percentages are?
Crisis or no crisis, the rate of marriage is much higher in the Orthodox world than it is in the general Jewish or non-Jewish US population.May 23, 2013 6:53 pm at 6:53 pm #954276walton157Member
What’s a koifer? Please, if hebrew/yiddish words are used, please explain them. thanks.May 23, 2013 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #954277
What’s a koifer
Literally, one who denies. It is usually used to denote one who denies an essential element of Jewish belief.
Apparently, WIY feels that those who don’t believe in the age gap/ population growth leading to a disparity in the number of eligible males and females are somehow being made to feel as if they are are heretics.May 23, 2013 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #954278ToiParticipant
speaking of heretics, i just finished reading the exchange between R shamshon raphoel hirsh and R bamburger ztls. very kiday to read.May 23, 2013 9:07 pm at 9:07 pm #954279ShalomToYouMember
It’s exactly the opposite. If you believe in it, you are a koifer.
Hashem runs the world. There is no crisis. Or solutions. Everyone has their time. We should try to help others in any way we can, including redding Shiduchim. That’s all.
NASI has bamboozled klal Yisroel for no good reason and we have had enough.
And I am an older single in Shiduchim.May 23, 2013 9:40 pm at 9:40 pm #954280
Where do I find this?May 23, 2013 10:04 pm at 10:04 pm #954281squeakParticipant
I’ll assume you don’t understand what you read, or I’m sure you would not dare use the word heretics as a segue to those giants.May 23, 2013 10:22 pm at 10:22 pm #954282
ShalomToYou, really? A koifer for believing it? You’ve just called a lot of big people koifrim (also me).
Can you please show me where it says that age gap + population growth ? gender imbalance is one of the ikrei emunah?
WIY, you said you’re a koifer. Please explain.May 23, 2013 11:40 pm at 11:40 pm #954283
This thread is chatzi serious. Im not feeling like going into it but I dont believe there is any crisis whatsoever. Or at least the who age gap thing is unproven and is just a theory. Nobody really knows how many single people there are out there of either gender. I think there are a lot of people who are very picky and I think the mothers of many of these “crisis” girls are the reason they are single. Of course there are also the girls who dont think guys have eyes and care about physical appearance and all that. There are valid reasons why people are single. Of course theres also the obvious that everyone ignores which is that Hashem runs the world and He decides when its time for you to get married and He knows when is the proper time. Its a whole bunch of hype and hysteria probably started by some rich people who couldnt marry off their spoiled brats by 20.May 24, 2013 12:28 am at 12:28 am #954284147Participant
Does not believing in the shidduch crisis make you a koifer?
Absolutely Not.May 24, 2013 12:35 am at 12:35 am #954285yytzParticipant
Squeak, Toi’s “segue” makes sense, because R’ Hirsch and R’ Bamberger were debating how to relate to the non-Orthodox (ie, whether to officially/legally separate from them under German law). I assume he’s not suggesting R’ Bamberger was a kofer for opposing R’ Hirsch’s view that the Orthodox community should separate or secede or whatever.May 24, 2013 2:18 am at 2:18 am #954286
WIY, all the talk about overbearing mothers, obsession with appearances, etc., doesn’t change the “overwhelming anecdotal evidence” that there’s an imbalance. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, even without observing an imbalance, if you at least acknowledge a typical several year gap between the age if the chassanim and kanllahs, and large average family size, an imbalance is almost inevitable. This is not likely your crisis, but it’s an important issue for the non – chassidic community as a whole.May 24, 2013 2:18 am at 2:18 am #954287writersoulParticipant
The shidduch crisis isn’t part of the Jewish religion. We have 613 mitzvos, and one of them is NOT “thou shalt freak out over the age gap.” That would seem to be even more bal tosif than the notion of needing to cover your face in front of men at your wedding.
In short, duh no you’re not a kofer. You become a kofer, IMHO, when you believe so much in the shidduch crisis that you lose any hope of finding a shidduch and forget that it’s actually in the hands of Someone higher than statistics.May 24, 2013 3:11 am at 3:11 am #954288
You become a kofer, IMHO, when you believe so much in the shidduch crisis that you lose any hope of finding a shidduch and forget that it’s actually in the hands of Someone higher than statistics.
Yes, I think that would violate #1.
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