Engaged on 3rd date

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  • #612484

    My cousin got engaged on his third date. Anyone beat that?

    #1027006

    I. M. Shluffin
    Participant

    Wow! K’nayna hora! Mazel tov! I can’t personally beat that. Of course, Im not married…

    #1027007

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Many people.

    #1027008

    TheGoq
    Participant

    what number date did he get married on?

    #1027009

    Mr Sfardi
    Participant

    Noone beats chasidim, they get engaged the fastest

    #1027010

    gefen
    Participant

    Mr Sfardi – it’s true. I have a friend who one fine Sunday afternoon called me to tell me she is engaged. I was kinda surprised as we were quite close and I thought I’d know when she was “dating” someone seriously. So I asked “Wow – Mazal Tov – how long have you been going out? When did you meet?” Her response- …..”um, we met last night”.

    This was probably about 30 yrs ago. They are B”H still married and have already married off a bunch of kids.

    #1027011

    iceandfire
    Member

    Engaged on third date is really not a big deal, i know many people who where engaged on the third or fourth. i think it’s a bracha when it goes so quickly and doesn’t drag on unnecessarily.

    #1027012

    Avram in MD
    Participant

    My cousin got engaged on his third date.

    Mazal tov!

    Anyone beat that?

    Is it a race?

    #1027013

    oomis
    Participant

    I will say sicere mazel tov, though I believe in taking a little more time than three dates (unless those dates were several weeks apart, with the boy and girl speaking or writing to each other in the interim, in which case I don’t consider it to be three dates).

    #1027014

    streekgeek
    Participant

    I know someone who was on a first date with a guy and he proposed. She declined saying she thinks that they need more time. And then she went out with him again on a second date, still not sure why… And no, they’re not married now 😉

    #1027015

    postsemgirl
    Member

    I was gonna get engaged after the 2nd date….but he didn’t ask.

    #1027016

    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    My cousin got engaged on his third date. Anyone beat that?

    Why? Is there a prize for getting engaged after fewer dates?

    The Wolf

    #1027017

    No race or prize. I only wondered as a curiosity how many folks did it quicker than that. I just heard a yeshivishe couple that got engaged after their first date.

    #1027018

    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    That is uncommon but very often they do know by the first one.

    #1027019

    lesschumras
    Participant

    How can anybody possibly know someone after one date?

    #1027020

    MurphysLaw
    Member

    Long may it last…

    #1027021

    the-art-of-moi
    Participant

    Mazal tov!

    That is very common by chassidim. Is s/he chassidish?

    #1027022

    He’s Litvish.

    #1027023

    charliehall
    Participant

    My wife and I got engaged on the second date. Over nine years later we are still happily married.

    #1027024

    charliehall
    Participant

    Did I shock everyone so much that nobody else dares to post?

    #1027025

    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    its just that we know youre never happy

    #1027026

    yeshivaguy45
    Participant

    In the book that recently came out, The Mountain Family (for all those that don’t know, it’s a book about a woman and her family that grew up in the Appalachian Mountains as christians and became geirim later on in life), she writes that her husband asked her to marry her on the first date. She said yes because she knew he was the right one. They weren’t Jewish yet. The Hashgacha Pratis of this was that after having many kids together, she gave birth to a down syndrome child who died after a month and they got divorced about a year later because of that. One event led to another and she became Jewish and got remarried years after that.

    #1027027

    Makcklemore
    Member

    I got engaged in 3rd grade too!

    #1027028

    the-art-of-moi
    Participant

    The Mountain Family is so inspiring! I love that book. Although I usually feel guilty reading books on shabbos- my date with Hashem, I dont when reading books like that. So, so, so amazing and inspirational.

    #1027029

    I think it’s amazing that they decided so quickly

    #1027030

    yentachaya
    Participant

    @charliehall

    Speak for yourself. The question is if your wife is happy.

    #1027031

    haifagirl
    Participant

    Danny Bonaduce married his second wife on their first date. (Am I the only Partridge Family fan here?)

    #1027032

    Joseph
    Participant

    Didn’t Yitzchok Avinu get engaged before his first date?

    #1027033

    This was probably about 30 yrs ago. They are B”H still married and have already married off a bunch of kids.

    Gefen it is totally and completely ridiculous to get engaged on a third date, it takes longer for them to pick out the ring than the amount of time it took them to get engaged. And the fact that a couple you know is still b”h married after 30 years is completely irrelevant. Sometimes fools strike it lucky. But maybe goofa if they’re fools you can apply shomer pesaim has hem and that’s why it worked out.

    #1027034

    charliehall
    Participant

    “The question is if your wife is happy.”

    Probably happier than me. Her politics are to my left and she knows that it is a waste of time to argue with extremists on the internet.

    #1027035

    notasheep
    Member

    chayav – no amount of dating can really let you ‘know’ the person before you actually get married to them and live with them. However, if they like each other well enough and they feel that they are capable of moving together in the same direction towards the same goals in life and raising a family, that is easily knowable by the third date. I was recently reading an anecdote from a book by a well-known rebetzen where she talks of a couple that had been happily dating for two years, yet as soon as they married their relationship went downhill.

    The real fools are those who think that dating needs to take a long time for them to know if this is the right person for them to marry – if all the correct research is done beforehand, it doesn’t really need to drag out.

    #1027036

    takahmamash
    Participant

    The first time Tevye met his wife was on their wedding day.

    #1027037

    golfer
    Participant

    Not a very healthy, well-adjusted family resulted from that union, takahm.

    Only daughters!

    One married a poor tailor.

    One ran away from home (to Siberia, of all places) with a communist.

    One married a shaygetz.

    And Tevye had to ask his wife of 25 years if she loved him!

    They probably should have dated a little longer…

    #1027038

    takahmamash
    Participant

    golfer:

    Only daughters!

    I happen to have only daughters, so I find your remark unfunny and insulting. Is there a problem with having only daughters?

    #1027039

    golfer
    Participant

    Hello to you too, takahm!

    I’m having a hard time believing you seriously got insulted.

    But in case you really are serious about feeling hurt by a comment I made, you have my sincere apology on a silver platter. From the heart.

    Not sure how you can feel personally insulted, though. If I had (Heaven forbid) remarked unfavorably on the intelligence, charm, middos, or other attributes of your offspring, then perhaps you might feel hurt. As we all know, we are in partnership in raising our children, and may feel slighted when others point out that we have not done a stellar job. But actually having daughters, sons, and any combination thereof is totally not in our hands. As the gemara teaches us, (the scholars of the CR will perhaps find the exact source for us) there are 3 keys that HKB”H entrusts to no one else- the keys of rain, childbirth, and Techiyas Hameisim (may it be soon in our days).

    Every child that is entrusted to our care by HKB”H, Who in His unfathomable kindness allows us to partner with Him in the creation of a Jewish soul, is a gift beyond compare. And no human being may ever disparage such a gift, regardless of its gender or the color of its eyes.

    Certainly takahm, you didn’t imagine that I was giving you the credit for actually having daughters, did you?

    #1027040

    takahmamash
    Participant

    To golfer

    🙂

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