September 27, 2011 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm #599666Tzvi HirshMember
Should a Choosen tell his Kallah that the ring is a Cubic Zirconia ring or let her believe it is the real thing!!!September 27, 2011 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm #813417dunnoMember
Get her a real one and you won’t have that problem 🙂September 27, 2011 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm #813418rescue37Participant
What a wondeful way to start off a marriage. BY LYING.September 27, 2011 10:41 pm at 10:41 pm #813419anonymrsParticipant
if i were getting engaged, i would hope that my chasan would be honest with me. i dont care if the diamond is real or not, but i DO care if the man i intend to marry is honest. its not the ring that matters, its the guy behind it.September 27, 2011 11:05 pm at 11:05 pm #813420deiyezoogerMember
Always be honest. Its OK to buy a CZ, its not OK to deceive.September 28, 2011 1:13 am at 1:13 am #813421walton157Member
Most young women today are very savvy and will have the ring appraised by a diamond dealer. So, who ever is doing the deceiving make sure you know how to compete with a ruby….happy wife, happy life.September 28, 2011 1:56 am at 1:56 am #813422WolfishMusingsParticipant
When I asked Eeees to marry me, I gave her a candy ring, as I did not have an actual ring to give her at the time.
I ended up getting her a ring later on with “recycled” diamonds. Eeees was aware all along that the candy ring wasn’t a real diamond ring (in fact she ate it then and there!) and she was aware that the diamonds in her ring were “recycled.”
Be honest. If you lie, at some point the truth will come out — and it will be much worse then.
The WolfSeptember 28, 2011 2:15 am at 2:15 am #813423cshapiroMember
its funny because a few days after i got engaged i went to a client whos a diamond dealer to get a diamond watch for my chosson and i showed him my ring….if it were cz i woulda cried!!! dont do it, better get a smaller diamond than a big fake one….September 28, 2011 2:31 am at 2:31 am #813424☕️coffee addictParticipant
I heard a Maaseh of a guy who borrowed money from a gemach to buy a diamond ring and the the kallah didn’t want him to spend money to buy a diamond ring and said to get CZ but he got the diamond ring and told her it was CZ so when he finally paid back the gemach he told her it was a real diamond ring (I don’t remember the end of the story sorry)September 28, 2011 3:18 am at 3:18 am #813425aries2756Participant
The ring is something that needs to be discussed before you get engaged. It would be very sad if young woman really wanted a diamond and once you were engaged you told her she was only getting a CZ. That could cause a lot of machlokes. That is definitely something that needs to be spoken about before the final decision. If you can’t afford a real diamond or it is the custom of your family to buy only CZ, then that is something that needs to be disclosed. If the Kallah expects to have what her sisters or sister-in-law received then it could cause her real emotional pain and magmas nefesh if you spring it on her after the engagement. She might feel that you were hiding this fact from her.September 28, 2011 3:38 am at 3:38 am #813426tickle toe eitusMember
Getting a “diamond ring” has no tradition in Judaism. It is a habit picked up from secular society. So just get whatever works for the two of you.September 28, 2011 5:32 am at 5:32 am #813427kapustaParticipant
I agree with cshapiro. But its best to tell her, at some point she’ll find out.
Some diamonds are “treated” to remove the imperfections. I think those are not as expensive. Maybe something like that is an option.September 28, 2011 3:27 pm at 3:27 pm #813428BB152Participant
In an ideal world, I’d get both. The real one is so important to your Kallah, and we men just can never understand that. The fake one (an exact replica of the real one) is great, because she can actually wear it (instead of putting it in the vault) without worrying that she’s going to lose/ruin something that her Chosson just spent several year’s savings on. Remember to put a marking on the inside of the ring, so you don’t get them mixed up 🙂September 28, 2011 3:37 pm at 3:37 pm #813429adorableParticipant
i was very upset when I told my chosson that I only wanted a CZ but he would not let. Its not something that matters to me at all and I would rather save them the money and let them spend it on something that mattered to me. but he said no way! i must admit I really am upset.September 28, 2011 3:43 pm at 3:43 pm #813430Sam2Participant
TTE: Actually, it is an idea picked up from Western society which was picked up from Judaism. I’m not sure when the diamonds made their way in though.October 1, 2011 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #813431ToiParticipant
adorable- im barely passed you in this process. these are NOT the things you should allow to get to you. he thinks youd rather it and youre trying to make life easier (no matter how many times youve “convinced” him- he still thinks so). let it pass and think fakert- hes so happy hw wants something special for you. think on the flip side.October 2, 2011 1:32 am at 1:32 am #813432tickle toe eitusMember
Sam2: The diamonds made their way in when the De Beers diamond monopoly started promoting it. That’s what I meant that it has no basis in Judaism.October 2, 2011 2:14 am at 2:14 am #813433amichaiParticipant
never ever lie in marriage. tell her its not a diamond.October 2, 2011 2:16 am at 2:16 am #813434WolfishMusingsParticipant
That’s what I meant that it has no basis in Judaism.
Eating peanut butter and jelly has no basis in Judaism either. That alone doesn’t make it forbidden or even inadvisable.
The WolfOctober 2, 2011 2:33 am at 2:33 am #813435wanderingchanaParticipant
The chosson should tell the kallah, in order to stay within my budget I can get you a X carat diamond or a bigger CZ. Let her decide if she wants bigger or real.October 2, 2011 2:54 am at 2:54 am #813436am yisrael chaiParticipant
“…it has no basis in Judaism”
Ok, so when Rivka got engaged, she got a nose ring with 2 bracelets. Don’t think the nose ring’s gonna go over too well nowadays somehow…October 2, 2011 3:18 am at 3:18 am #813437ronrsrMember
A diamond ring for an engagement is a relatively new phenomenon, even in non-Jewish circles. A previous poster is correct, that DeBeers did an excellent marketing job post WWII, sending saleswomen into schools, convincing the girls that a diamond was necessary.
CZ has many advantages, too. Diamonds don’t last long in a fire while CZ does.October 2, 2011 3:23 am at 3:23 am #813438observanteenMember
I’ll get a CZ, but I was told before. I personally don’t care much for a diamond (I love nice jewlery but diamonds aren’t worth the price IMHO). I’d rather they save the money for something worthwhile, such as a couch etc. My sister lost her diamond earrings and diamond bracelet. She couldn’t sleep for nights! Finally, she exchanged her diamond ring for a cz and put the money in her savings account.
adorable: I don’t think you should get upset. As I said, I don’t care for diamonds, but I wouldn’t be UPSET if I’d get one. You may as well enjoy it!October 2, 2011 3:33 am at 3:33 am #813439golden momMember
i couldnt believe how much a diamond cost i wish i would have know when i was a kallah i would have for sure not let my chosen by me one i mean many yrs later who wears it anywayOctober 2, 2011 3:36 am at 3:36 am #813440golden momMember
i know sb who went to redo her settint on her diamond after many yrs and found out it was not real but she knew her inlaws bought it so she was not mad about her in laws she was just in shock then she relized that they would never by fack and try to pass it over that they probably were nebach scamed so she decided not to tell themOctober 2, 2011 8:10 am at 8:10 am #813442aries2756Participant
ayc, actually nose rings are “very” in style today, that’s why they are out of style by the Yidden. 🙂 BTW, It is not worth having, it is very painful to take out and put back on a monthly basis.
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