Engagement Ring!!!

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Viewing 26 posts - 1 through 26 (of 26 total)
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  • #599666
    Tzvi Hirsh
    Member

    Should a Choosen tell his Kallah that the ring is a Cubic Zirconia ring or let her believe it is the real thing!!!

    #813417
    dunno
    Member

    Get her a real one and you won’t have that problem 🙂

    #813418
    rescue37
    Participant

    What a wondeful way to start off a marriage. BY LYING.

    #813419
    anonymrs
    Participant

    if i were getting engaged, i would hope that my chasan would be honest with me. i dont care if the diamond is real or not, but i DO care if the man i intend to marry is honest. its not the ring that matters, its the guy behind it.

    #813420
    deiyezooger
    Member

    Always be honest. Its OK to buy a CZ, its not OK to deceive.

    #813421
    walton157
    Member

    Most young women today are very savvy and will have the ring appraised by a diamond dealer. So, who ever is doing the deceiving make sure you know how to compete with a ruby….happy wife, happy life.

    #813422
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    When I asked Eeees to marry me, I gave her a candy ring, as I did not have an actual ring to give her at the time.

    I ended up getting her a ring later on with “recycled” diamonds. Eeees was aware all along that the candy ring wasn’t a real diamond ring (in fact she ate it then and there!) and she was aware that the diamonds in her ring were “recycled.”

    Be honest. If you lie, at some point the truth will come out — and it will be much worse then.

    The Wolf

    #813423
    cshapiro
    Member

    its funny because a few days after i got engaged i went to a client whos a diamond dealer to get a diamond watch for my chosson and i showed him my ring….if it were cz i woulda cried!!! dont do it, better get a smaller diamond than a big fake one….

    #813424
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    I heard a Maaseh of a guy who borrowed money from a gemach to buy a diamond ring and the the kallah didn’t want him to spend money to buy a diamond ring and said to get CZ but he got the diamond ring and told her it was CZ so when he finally paid back the gemach he told her it was a real diamond ring (I don’t remember the end of the story sorry)

    #813425
    aries2756
    Participant

    The ring is something that needs to be discussed before you get engaged. It would be very sad if young woman really wanted a diamond and once you were engaged you told her she was only getting a CZ. That could cause a lot of machlokes. That is definitely something that needs to be spoken about before the final decision. If you can’t afford a real diamond or it is the custom of your family to buy only CZ, then that is something that needs to be disclosed. If the Kallah expects to have what her sisters or sister-in-law received then it could cause her real emotional pain and magmas nefesh if you spring it on her after the engagement. She might feel that you were hiding this fact from her.

    #813426

    Getting a “diamond ring” has no tradition in Judaism. It is a habit picked up from secular society. So just get whatever works for the two of you.

    #813427
    kapusta
    Participant

    I agree with cshapiro. But its best to tell her, at some point she’ll find out.

    Some diamonds are “treated” to remove the imperfections. I think those are not as expensive. Maybe something like that is an option.

    *kapusta*

    #813428
    BB152
    Participant

    In an ideal world, I’d get both. The real one is so important to your Kallah, and we men just can never understand that. The fake one (an exact replica of the real one) is great, because she can actually wear it (instead of putting it in the vault) without worrying that she’s going to lose/ruin something that her Chosson just spent several year’s savings on. Remember to put a marking on the inside of the ring, so you don’t get them mixed up 🙂

    #813429
    adorable
    Participant

    i was very upset when I told my chosson that I only wanted a CZ but he would not let. Its not something that matters to me at all and I would rather save them the money and let them spend it on something that mattered to me. but he said no way! i must admit I really am upset.

    #813430
    Sam2
    Participant

    TTE: Actually, it is an idea picked up from Western society which was picked up from Judaism. I’m not sure when the diamonds made their way in though.

    #813431
    Toi
    Participant

    adorable- im barely passed you in this process. these are NOT the things you should allow to get to you. he thinks youd rather it and youre trying to make life easier (no matter how many times youve “convinced” him- he still thinks so). let it pass and think fakert- hes so happy hw wants something special for you. think on the flip side.

    #813432

    Sam2: The diamonds made their way in when the De Beers diamond monopoly started promoting it. That’s what I meant that it has no basis in Judaism.

    #813433
    amichai
    Participant

    never ever lie in marriage. tell her its not a diamond.

    #813434
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    That’s what I meant that it has no basis in Judaism.

    Eating peanut butter and jelly has no basis in Judaism either. That alone doesn’t make it forbidden or even inadvisable.

    The Wolf

    #813435
    wanderingchana
    Participant

    The chosson should tell the kallah, in order to stay within my budget I can get you a X carat diamond or a bigger CZ. Let her decide if she wants bigger or real.

    #813436
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    “…it has no basis in Judaism”

    Ok, so when Rivka got engaged, she got a nose ring with 2 bracelets. Don’t think the nose ring’s gonna go over too well nowadays somehow…

    #813437
    ronrsr
    Member

    A diamond ring for an engagement is a relatively new phenomenon, even in non-Jewish circles. A previous poster is correct, that DeBeers did an excellent marketing job post WWII, sending saleswomen into schools, convincing the girls that a diamond was necessary.

    CZ has many advantages, too. Diamonds don’t last long in a fire while CZ does.

    #813438
    observanteen
    Member

    I’ll get a CZ, but I was told before. I personally don’t care much for a diamond (I love nice jewlery but diamonds aren’t worth the price IMHO). I’d rather they save the money for something worthwhile, such as a couch etc. My sister lost her diamond earrings and diamond bracelet. She couldn’t sleep for nights! Finally, she exchanged her diamond ring for a cz and put the money in her savings account.

    adorable: I don’t think you should get upset. As I said, I don’t care for diamonds, but I wouldn’t be UPSET if I’d get one. You may as well enjoy it!

    #813439
    golden mom
    Member

    i couldnt believe how much a diamond cost i wish i would have know when i was a kallah i would have for sure not let my chosen by me one i mean many yrs later who wears it anyway

    #813440
    golden mom
    Member

    i know sb who went to redo her settint on her diamond after many yrs and found out it was not real but she knew her inlaws bought it so she was not mad about her in laws she was just in shock then she relized that they would never by fack and try to pass it over that they probably were nebach scamed so she decided not to tell them

    #813442
    aries2756
    Participant

    ayc, actually nose rings are “very” in style today, that’s why they are out of style by the Yidden. 🙂 BTW, It is not worth having, it is very painful to take out and put back on a monthly basis.

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