"Ess Past Nisht!" The phrase of the centry

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  • #594065

    After reading all the quandaries people have posted about shidduchim I got to thinking (a she’he’chiyonu).

    If for Plonis arriving in a cab or helicopter for a date is acceptable or cool, the fact that to Yenta A. or Mr. B. Macher it doesnt sound classy should be totally irrelevant!

    All the “es past nisht” that others feel should feel insignificant to whoever is happy with it. The same thing applies to many other “trivial things”, like yichus, profession…

    What do you guys think?

    Also please check out the stories I posted in the nightly dvar torah thread

    YWN Coffee Room Nightly D’Var Torah

    You might come out with a new perspective on this topic as well.

    #726648
    eclipse
    Member

    This tops all.

    Someone told me,”My friend married so-and-so,BUT SHE COULD HAVE DONE MUCH BETTER.”

    Can you imagine??

    #726649
    aries2756
    Participant

    TBT, you are 100% right. People should concentrate more on what Hashem has in mind for them than what their friends’ opinions are. That is why shidduchim should be private and you shouldn’t discuss your dates with your friends. Yenta’s will have a rude awakening when they give their din v’chesbon nuch 120!

    #726650
    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    You are very perceptive in mentioning “decent beverage ordering

    skills.” People don’t realize how many Shalom Bayis problems

    are a direct result of at least one of the two spouses lacking

    this basic skill. If my rebbetzin would’ve said “i’ll have a

    diet Dr. Pepper” (no affiliation w/ dr. pepper)

    she’d have to take the train home.

    Dr. Pepper is healthy enough! Who wants a health nut?

    😉

    #726651
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Someone told me,”My friend married so-and-so,BUT SHE COULD HAVE DONE MUCH BETTER.”

    I also know of a case like that. A very nice normal girl married a guy who was physically and emotionally abusive. Then, when she finally left, he made up stories and hired lawyers and took the kids and sent them to military boarding schools.

    She could have done much better.

    Is that what you mean?

    #726652
    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    “Es Past Nisht!”

    #726653
    aries2756
    Participant

    When I told my father a”h, “what would you say if I told you that I was dating …” he said “I would say you could do better”. My father was a baker and he worked at night so he missed a little bit of what was going on. So then I said “what would you say if I told you that I was engaged to ….” he took me in his arms and said “Mazel tov! We should have much nachas from the both of you!”

    But he was still a character. On the way to chupah he whispered in my ear. “the car is right out front, just say the word and we turn around and go the other way. I can have you out of here in 10 minutes.”

    When I told my sister, she said he told her the same exact thing.

    #726654
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Ess Past Nisht has got to be one of the most inappropriate phrases in the Yiddish language. When somebody says it about a third party, they’re butting into other peoples’ business — inappropriate. When they say it about themselves i.e. “ess past nisht for me to…” that’s gaavah — even worse!

    #726655
    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    ItcheSrulik; I like your screen name. “Es Past Dich!” 🙂

    #726656
    eclipse
    Member

    popa—no,they had just gotten married!

    aries–that is funny!why did he say that?

    I.S.–“es past nisht” is meant to encourage someone not to act on a lower level than the (high)level h/she is on.It’s supposed to be the least abrasive way to give a person mussar.

    BUT YOU ARE SO RIGHT!

    USING IT TO DESCRIBE A THIRD PARTY’S ACTIONS IS WRONG AND SERVES NO PURPOSE BESIDES LOSHON HORA.

    EDITED POST

    Please do not yell in the CR.

    #726657
    aries2756
    Participant

    Eclipse, I have no idea. Maybe he thought I was nervous and he wanted to lighten things up.

    #726658
    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Thanks, it’s almost my real name.

    #726659
    mewho
    Participant

    what does the phrase ”its not kedai” mean?

    #726660
    eclipse
    Member

    Edited for CAPS?

    Why would I be “yelling”–I was agreeing.

    I’m confused.

    #726661
    bein_hasdorim
    Participant

    It tranlates into, it not worth it, not practical.

    It’s not kedai for me to take my car out into the upcoming snowstorm cuz i might get stuck, and probably also hinder

    street cleaning efforts, (what efforts) & emergency vehicles e.g. Hatzolah from doing their jobs.

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