Experiencing Shamayim

I went to be menachem avel a friend last night. He had lost his father. While there, he told over a story about his father. A little while back, his father had “died” in medical terms, and was resuscitated. When he awoke, he said (as many others with the same circumstances have) that he had gone up to Shamayim. He described some of his experience. He spoke to a major Rav about it, and the Rav told him it wasn’t a dream – he really saw these things! Just to note, his father was a baal teshuva who became frum late in his life, who was not very learned, but had a tremendous love for Judaism and for Hashem.

He was asked to describe what it looked like. He said there is no way to describe it in words – all he could say was that it was the most beautiful place he’d ever seen. He said that the neshamos of those who are there can always hear the people below when they speak to them.

He asked the malachim with him about the judgement in Heaven, as he was nervous about it. He was told, “For things that are bein adam laMakom, Hashem is incredibly forgiving. Even for the worst things, that you think there’s no way you’ll be forgiven for, Hashem will still forgive you! But for bein adam lachaveiro, it’s different. Even for the smallest things, which people ignore, you need forgiveness from the person! If you weren’t forgiven, the punishment is worse than anything a person can imagine! If only people knew what it does, they’d be begging on their knees for forgiveness from everyone they’ve ever wronged!”

He also asked them if they could tell him when Mashiach would come. The son wasn’t clear on if they wouldn’t tell him, or if they did, but he couldn’t repeat it.

The main thing I took out from this is the bein adam lachaveiro piece. There are often things which we write off as being nothing, and don’t bother to seek forgiveness for. Often, we don’t even realize when we’ve wronged someone!

My Rosh Yeshiva, R’ Bender shlita, does the following before Kol Nidrei. He gets up and asks everyone in the yeshiva to announce their forgiveness for anyone who may have wronged them, whether they’re aware of it or not.

Here in the CR, things sometimes get heated, and people take things the wrong way. Posters (myself included) may think that we didn’t do anything wrong. But how do we know how others are affected? Why take a chance?

But the last point is that we shouldn’t be relying on forgiveness. We should all strive to avoid it in the first place!