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Whenever I try to delete my account my yetzer hara comes along and I sign back on to see what is new on my friends’ pages, etc. Can anyone help me decide the pluses and minuses to having a Facebook and why some people who are religious do not have one, while some very religious people do? My main issues are that I think it is somewhat unsnius to put up pictures of myself and I think sometimes it can lead to jealousy and hurt feelings to post happy pictures of one’s life and brag in statuses, etc etc. The problem is that nowadays it is so commonplace to have an account and so many ppl use it to communicate/keep in touch/create events/kiruv, etc. I’d love to get a conversation going! Thoughts?
I deleted mine. Best decision I’ve made in a long time. Personal use of Facebook is bad for your social skills, bad for your relationships with your real friends, bad for your sensitivity to tzniyus, and stam bad for time management. For business/advertising usage it’s a different story.
That’s the problem, so many people use it to “communicate” and “keep in touch” that people don’t really know what it means to communicate or to keep in touch!
I read a study of divorces which said something like over 50% of divorces mention Facebook as one of the reasons for getting divorced.
I read a study of divorces which said something like over 50% of divorces mention Facebook as one of the reasons for getting divorced.
That does not prove causation at all. Facebook is the way people communicate, and people who are in bad relationships and looking outside the relationship will use the normal ways people communicate to do so.
I bet before facebook a similar study would have mentioned telephones.
Can anyone help me decide the pluses and minuses to having a Facebook
Con:
Whenever I try to delete my account my yetzer hara comes along and I sign back on to see what is new on my friends’ pages, etc.
Con:
My main issues are that I think it is somewhat unsnius to put up pictures of myself and I think sometimes it can lead to jealousy and hurt feelings to post happy pictures of one’s life and brag in statuses, etc etc.
Personally, I don’t have facebook and I’m only aware of a few people that do have it. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. When I want to share something I let people know directly instead of through my P.R. agent. When I have pictures of my family to share I upload it to photobucket.
and why some people who are religious do not have one, while some very religious people do?
Because you’re not the only one with a yetzer hara.
I had a Facebook account a looooong time ago. Oh, how I was so upset that it’s impossible to delete. But I’ve been off for at least 5 consecutive years now.
Pro- its easy to keep in touch with all your friends
Con- some friends are better to stay away from
Pro- you get to see pictures of your personal friends
Con- some of those pics should be kept personal
Con- the website is efficient for, and produces more, stalkers
Pro- make new relationships
Con- sometimes by breaking a current relationship
Con- creates relationships with the wrong people
Pro- an easy way to waste some time when bored
Con- a horrible time waster when busy
Pro- its free!
Con- …because facebook pulls a profit selling your personal info to advertisers
Pro- Facebook accounts can login all over the web
Con- You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave
Pro- The whole world can hear you!
Con- Everyone is watching. Bad pics or statements can not be taken back
I’m sure there are more, but those are the ones on the top of my head.
uneeq – You can permanently delete your facebook account, I did mine not long ago. Google it.
JMH- Thanks, but I’m fine now. I used to have a yetzer hara to log back on, which automatically reinstated my account. Nowadays, I never even think about facebook anymore.
Seahorse, your welcome.
Seahorse: But that’s just it: the fact that your conscience is telling you that there’s something wrong here is all the proof that you need. There’s no need to try to rationalize around your conscience.
I don’t really know enough about facebook to say that it’s an aveira to use. I think it’s probably neutral by itself, just that it makes it easier to do the wrong things with it. And since it’s not an essential part of life, it is better to make a fence.
Let’s say you want to put up some pictures of yourself. Then along comes your opposite and bumps into your facebook page and looks at your pictures.
Or let’s say you’re friend slipped on some loshon hora. BOOM! Now every one of you’re friend’s friends have seen it as opposed to just a small slip to one or two people.
And as I was trying to say earlier. What kind of middos does it train a person to have, when they are constantly alerting everyone to what’s going in their own lives and nosing around in every detail of their friends’ lives.
I say follow your conscience.
I permanently deleted my account over a year ago. I don’t miss it. When I had it I kept much of my details private. I never put up pictures of me and my husband together, never put up pictures of my baby when she was born. My profile picture was never a personal one. I never had my relationship status on. And my pictures and profile could only be viewed by my facebook friends.
One of the cons of facebook is that if a person does put up many personal things and then something changes in their life circumstances, they have to change their whole profile to get rid of things they no longer want there. And this could mean indicating things that they would otherwise not want to tell people. For an example, I have friend who got divorced about three years ago. I realised something was wrong when she changed back to her maiden name and deleted all the pictures she had of her and her husband from her profile. And yet she did not tell anyone until a little while later. Things like this create speculation, and the more personal stuff you have on your profile, the more speculation and embarrassment you are going to invite.
I know some very frum people who have facebook. Some of these people are into Kiruv. So I assume that’s a good way for them to keep in touch with the ppl they are being mekarev. I don’t doubt that their fb accounts are totally clean and kosher.
As far as posting pics, who says you have to? You can have an account with no pics at all.
I personally think it depends on how you use it. If you’re just keeping in touch and only have appropriate things on there, why should that be a problem?
I will give one VERY IMPORTANT warning- IT IS VERY POSSIBLE TO HAVE YOUR ACCOUNT HACKED AND INAPPROPRIATE THINGS CAN/WILL SHOW UP ON YOUR PROFILE. I know someone who had that happen. So, if you’re going to have an account, you should have your fb friends let u know if they see anything wrong. You may not be able to see it yourself. I don’t know how that works but it is possible for you not to see what others do on your own account.
I also deleted my FB account after a bad experience. It is very dangerous. I have been off for 3 months I have a yetser hora to go back on but I remind myself of the potential damage and I stay away!!
Derech: The issue is that our conscience tells us that things are wrong even when things aren’t wrong.It is very logical to try to find some clear-cut reason why something is wrong as to not have to deal with an eternal internal battle. I have personally always found it easier to break a certain action of mine, if I was convinced of its wrongness in black and white fashion.
Uneeq- love ur post
And seahorse; ur one hundred percent right
I have Facebook
I was worried about the same things as u
It is true fb destroys marriages relationships and friendships
And a lot of photos are misleading and comments misunderstood
But if U know it is not for u then u can go without it
I went private, blocked ppple I knew would wanna “stalk me” and not all my friends can see my photos and statuses bec I am afraid ppple have noooo life- which they do and they live thru other pples pages, which is pathetic!?! What can I say. And pple get jealous and think everyone’s life is all Rosen and happy and awesome. That’s y u shud b careful who ur friend and wat u post.
uneeq: I don’t think that’s true though. I think a person’s conscience speaks up according to how sensitive a person is to the issues involved in each case. There’s not always a clear-cut answer on issues of sensitivity, for each person it could be different- but that doesn’t mean some are wrong.
In any case, Seahorse already gave a number of very clear reasons.
Derech: I’ll agree to disagree. Our conscience isn’t a good enough barometer though when it comes to keeping the mitzvos. Or else certain mitzvos such as shiluach hakan wouldn’t exist.
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