July 6, 2012 4:21 am at 4:21 am #604011EnglishmanMember
How can a father obtain primary custody of a child after a divorce?July 6, 2012 5:36 am at 5:36 am #882913
Englishman – If you live in the US – go back to the UK. Here in the US, not a chance in a million.
The only way possible is that, besides costing you an arm and a leg to do it, you need a good lawyer and a good private eye. Even if she’s nuts, you won’t win. Because your shrink will say she is and her’s will say she isn’t. And vice versa -her shrink will say you’re nuts and your shrink will say you’re not. So the court gives her the kids.
So how is it ever possible? Back to what I was saying – you need the private eye to spy on her and document, like with videos, her behavior. Very few actually will harm their kids -so this documentation you won’t have. The same with any illegal activity. Very few actually break the law. But a lot, not all, will be negligent, ie. leaving small kids alone at nite to go out. This quite often occurs and if you document this, without her knowledge, it’s quite possible you can win custody.
The only other time is when the kids prefer the father over the mother. This is very rare, but it does happen – once in a blue moon.July 6, 2012 11:28 am at 11:28 am #882914ohr chodeshMember
All things being equal, under a normal situation, why should the mother or father receive primary custody automatically just because she or he is the mother/father?July 6, 2012 1:21 pm at 1:21 pm #882915BTGuyParticipant
You would seriously have to ask a lawyer.
From a laypersons understanding, and I am not saying I am right on all counts, but I the criteria would include: 1. The mother is a convicted felon on drug charges, in particular. 2. The mother is mentally unstable. 3. The mother consents to the father having primary custody.
Otherwise, the default is the mother gets primary custody, but cannot deny the father time, or that is punishable by law. Even if the father owes support…
Sadly, TOO many people I have known go through this spin cycle. Its tragic.
In cases where the mother is very difficult in allowing the father time with the child(ren), usually after some time the moms ending calling up the fathers to take the kids as much as they can get away with.
Rabbi Noach Weinberg Zatzal, olav hashalom, said something to the effect, “Three out of five couples who say, I do, end up saying, I dont. And who knows what is going on in the other two marriages?”
I am not sure why you ask your question, but I hope no one has to deal with this, and if they do, I hope it works out for the better, rather than the worse.July 6, 2012 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm #882916ohr chodeshMember
There is no reason that the mother should received custody instead of the father by default, just because she is the mother.July 6, 2012 2:21 pm at 2:21 pm #882917
ohr chodesh -“All things being equal, under a normal situation,”
This is a Gemora Sevara. Nothing in this country is equal and nothing in our Court System is Normal!July 6, 2012 2:34 pm at 2:34 pm #882918MorahRachMember
In the US it is slim to none. I dont really understand why. When my uncle was going through a divoce, with 3 kids, his now ex-wife was completely unstable, she had emotional issues, lied to everyone including the courts, yet she won custody. My uncle btw is and was a doctor with a stable home, income, life style. It made no sense.July 6, 2012 2:54 pm at 2:54 pm #882919popa_bar_abbaParticipant
Mothers get default primary custody?
Ha! I’m overwriting that in my halachic prenup.
You want a prenup? Well, it will be a negotiated agreement.July 6, 2012 3:07 pm at 3:07 pm #882920yaakov doeParticipant
Depends on the mental state and capabilities of the child’s mother. It’s not unheard of in New
York.July 6, 2012 3:29 pm at 3:29 pm #882921147Participant
The Halocho is that after 6 years old,a boy goes to the Father.
If any Beth Din Chas vSholom does not comply with this Halocho, you may as well go to secular court and have the so-called rabbis from that dysfunctional Beth Din defrocked for going against Halocho.July 6, 2012 3:44 pm at 3:44 pm #882922artchillParticipant
The Court decides what is in the best interest of the child. Who can give the child the most attention and best care.
In the past, women were given primary custody because they were ‘stay-at-home-moms’, while men slaved at work. The dynamics have changed nowadays with many women working outside the home. This has led to 50/50 custody. During this economic recession, more men are ‘stay-at-home-dads’, while the women slave at work to support the family. As a result, the trend of primary custody to dads is picking up.July 6, 2012 8:31 pm at 8:31 pm #882923choppyParticipant
What does the halacha say about who gets custody??July 8, 2012 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #882924
artchill -“The Court decides what is in the best interest of the child. Who can give the child the most attention and best care.
In the past, women were given primary custody because they were ‘stay-at-home-moms’, while men slaved at work. The dynamics have changed nowadays with many women working outside the home. This has led to 50/50 custody. During this economic recession, more men are ‘stay-at-home-dads’, while the women slave at work to support the family. As a result, the trend of primary custody to
dads is picking up.”
This is a nice PC piece, but in reality doesn’t exist. In NY and NJ States almost all cases of residential primary custody is given to the mother. If this exists in any state please cite the Statistics. I don’t believe you without proof!
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