Finances………..what are we doing wrong?

Home Forums Decaffeinated Coffee Finances………..what are we doing wrong?

Viewing 20 posts - 1 through 20 (of 20 total)
  • Author
  • #600853

    B”H our combined income is above $150K yearly. 2 children in yeshiva, very simple home in brooklyn.we live simple, own our 10 year old car……at the end of the month not a dollar left. I know may people may be laughing at me, but seriously we struggle to pay all the bills. Moving out of town isn’t an option as our jobs are local, any advice


    It may be cheaper for you to buy a house out of town and rent your house out in the city.. the prices in the city are much more expensive and will pay off the morgage in no time at all…on top of that you may earn an additional income once that’s achieved… the banks sometimes consider assets to be better off over instant cash..

    You mentioned though that you have jobs in the city, so move to an outta town area that’s not too far from the city but close enough..



    What you are doing wrong is living above your means. Things that you feel are an absolute necessity are probably considered a luxury by others. I imagine that as you made more money, you increased your monthly expenses. Think back to when you made half that money, and think about if your life is really better now. While I am not telling you to go back to that, do however realize that your life is not really so simple.


    Since our jobs are in the city house isn’t much cheaper unless we go out verry far



    Start paying attention to where the money goes. Look over your credit card bills. Money is pouring out somewhere. Vacations? Fancy wardrobe? Over $150,000 with 2 kids should leave you with leftovers if you aren’t spendaholics.


    Simple. What you are doing “wrong” is living in an expensive high-tax city and earning salaries as opposed to running your own business so you can illegally deduct personal expenses.

    Considering that your jobs are in/near Brooklyn, I would not suggest moving. Commuting is very expensive, aside from being very hard on the commuter and his/her family, and the surrounding areas are also insanely expensive.


    The only real difference from a few years ago is we wernt paying yeshiva tuition and weren’t paying a mortgage. We are very careful about our spending


    Did you ever sit down and budget properly?


    to all those who are responding as if $150K is a lot of money, think again. I am sure he means 150K on the books which comes out to about 90K after taxes. that’s the amount he actually has to spend. now figure about 24K on mortgage. 15K on tuition he is already down to 50K to live on. believe it or not that is not so much money. every expense has gone up. gas, electricity, insurance, water, food, clothing, phone etc.. it adds up very quickly. realize that trim cannot get any gov’t help such as heap and never gets a break in the frum world because he makes “so much” money. If trim would come to your simcha and give a very minimal gift you would think he is being cheap because he has a “good parnasa” every mossad that he or his wife have had or have an affiliation with expect support because they make “so much” money. At the end of the day they are left with very little. People who don’t make very much but get every program and also help and breaks from within the frum community actually seem to have it easier.


    Consider moving to Blueridge in Waterburry. It’s a far commute but might be worth it.


    ChanieE do i trace something called “do not fargin” in the comment you make about people who own a business?

    Let me tell you Chanie that try living in a bracket where your taxes are almost more than take home pay and then comment!Let’s meet and let me see your submissions for end of year taxes and i’ll show you mine easily.

    The bottom line is that all is from Hashem yes, but one has to have a budget and think about tomorrow and unforseen expenses in case of emergency!


    Commonsense – excellent explanation!

    Ms. Critique – I can tell you exactly what it’s like to live in a bracket where taxes are almost more than take home pay! That’s why the cheating bothers me so much. My taxes keep going up up up to make up the shortfall from everyone who doesn’t pay. I’m paying more to cover my neighbors who BRAG (no shame at all!) about cheating on their taxes. And don’t get me started on cheating on taxes with cash, both by being paid off the books and not paying sales tax if you pay cash.


    Try sitting down and making a budget. Look at your 2011 tax return to see what your income was after taxes. Deduct tuition, mortgage+tax+insurance, health insurance, auto insurance. If you are home for Pesach add several thousand dollars for that.

    If you frequently use credit cards you can see where your discretionary spending is.


    IMO, you’re probably doing nothing wrong. If you sit down and make a budget it’ll give you a clearer idea of where exactly you money is going, but to put it simply, things cost money. Once you knock off tuition, mortgage, insurance, you probably aren’t left with too much. If possible, pay your cc bill every month (or avoid them altogether unless your doing well with rewards). Do you do shop at Costco? If it makes sense for you (meaning you will actually use the stuff before it goes bad), go for it. Does your checking account have a service fee or a charge per debit card purchase? Are you going over cell phone minutes/texts/data usage? Basically just know where your money is going before it goes there.




    Sorry Chanie and i understand exactly what you mean. All i can say is that i know you will not become a moser and the people doing this so easily should be ashamed of themselves because it is pure genaiva, stealing. We do not rely on credit card spending, just on occassion if i want to order something to send overseas or rarely an online purchase. Cell phones are basic,flat rates and no texting. One thing i buy real quality are fruits and vegetables! Clothing is another story as a matter of principle i will not overpay. Good Luck and Hashem should repay you for your honesty and realize you B”H have company and alot of good advice from the CF.


    Ms. Critique – No hard feelings 🙂


    Thanks guys for all of the support. Just to clarify; we are not big spenders, the only “vacation” we go on are with credit card points. All clothing we buy are nice, however all are purchased on sale. We almost never eat out. Ok, every other shabbos ill purchase a $30 piece of meat for firday night. I buy my wife flowers for shabbos….am I supposed to cut this out. We pay are credit cards in full every month (its not easy) and pay tuition and other bills on time. Sometimes I just feel depressed like I can’t do any better (I know many will say they wish they are in my shoes). Its very hard for me to work like a dog and still struggle at the end of the month without the luxeries. And can almost nerver buy that extra item for myself wife or kids.


    At times I feel like quitting my job. Declare to the yeshivas (like many others) I’m sorry I have no $ as I don’t have a job collect every program and get a job paying $500 a week cash. At the end of the month I believe ill be in the same place “financially” without the stress. I know this is the wrong attidude but I’m hurting.

    Belev Echad

    I am so sorry you are under such pressure from this. i can give you my ideas, but i dont know if they’ll apply to you. whatever, you decide.

    i really dont know your exact lifestyle, but i do know that you can be the “not spenders” type and still be paying a lot more for things that the “frugal” type wont.

    for instance…

    you mentioned that while you do wear nice clothes, you buy them on sale. on sale at kohls and marshalls, or on sale but still brand name? its possible to buy good clothes for cheap…my (womens) shoes average $20-$30, with some being $10 and nice shabbos ones $40 (which i splurged on). i consider tops and sweaters too expensive to buy if they’re over $15-$20.

    you can eliminate/cut back on dry cleaning (invest in a few wrinkle free shirts? dont buy dry-clean only clothes)

    only buy food on sale. look for items on really good sales, and stock up in your pantry. only food you will need, your basics that will last a while. buying canola oil and tuna fish for full price is ridiculous.

    and cut back on expensive foods, reserve them for treats.and expensive food does not only=caviar. believe it or not, a basic salad with Bodek greens, cherry tomatos, avocado and hearts of palms can be very expensive. my family knows that hearts of palm is bought occasionaly, along with pre-checked lettuce, and frozen blintzes, yadda yadda…

    avoid brand name items unless you are CERTAIN its more worth it. (rare, but it does happen.) do you need the Windex brand, or will Glass Cleaner work? Can you use Walmart brand Baby Wipes? not “Scotch” tape? etc.

    UTILITIES: every tiny thing helps. every one degree lower that you set your thermostat, having the heat off while at work, not running water while doing dishes, shutting off lights not in use, ALL REALLY HELP.

    all the small things add up. A Brita filter pitcher is a lot cheaper than bottled water, buy a few bottles and then re-use them by filling them up for work or whatever. dont buy coffee from a shop, its inevitably more expensive than your alternatives. have a friend cut your hair, or learn to trim your own so you can go for haircuts less frequently. see if your wife can do her own shaitel in a more easy, simple style, and save the shaitel macher for when its to be done real nice. buying small-sized snacks for your kids is much more expensive than buying a big bag of pretzels or chips and dividing it into baggies. give your kids water for school instead of snapple.

    there are sooo many ways to save, and believe me, when you add it up, the ammount of extra money you have is incredible.

    if you’re already living like this, then i really dont know what to tell you, and i really feel for you. please let me know if any of this helped, while i go wrack my brain for more ideas 😉


    Belec echad- many of your ideas are ones that I follow at all times, many that I could never do. My wife and kids know ill buy whatever foods/nosh they want, ill get the best price. Staple items I always stock up on when they are on sale. Yes I go to a few different stored every week to stock up on good priced items. Regarding cleaners, grand it I could save the$, but don’t have the time/strenth at the end of my long day to deal with it. Electricity I am always care full. Clothing………. I get brand name on sale, I wish you could explain the $30 shoe deal to my wife bec no matter how much ill explain she doesn’t get it. Don’t get me wrong I nice nice things, its also very difficult to work very hard and not allow yourself to at times buy a coffee ect….

    Honestly we have 2 kids and I would love many more/ I’m afraid ill have no way to provide for them……….. I know they say that with each child comes parnassah and I have seen this first hand but its difficult to enternalize. And then to beg the schools bec u can’t pay…..

Viewing 20 posts - 1 through 20 (of 20 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.