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So I have a question, but it’s kind of complicated.
It is fact that in religious/Yeshivish circles that people tend to marry young. Fine. My question is, how do they support themselves? How do they suddenly have money to rent an apt., have a car, buy food, school(college) and everyday expenses?
The answers I recieve from many is that the parents support. But what if the parents can’t support? What if the parents themselves are barely making ends meet and in no way are they in the position to support another couple/family? Do people then marry later (around 25yrs old) when they can support themselves and not leave it to the parents?
Some insight in to this would be great, thanks.
so the truth is, EVERY PENNY COUNTS. it’s true that someone who’s been around for longer, and has more money in the account can get fruther.
the truth is, i heard this from many, they left their previous money for savings, and started from scratch after the wedding. it works. say she holds a FT job, at min. $12 an hour, and earns at least 1450 after taxes etc. so she can usually pay for a standard couples apt. and 2 bills. then he brings home something, even if he’s learning, whcich pays the rest of the bills and food.
a young couple shouldn’t need any extras (yet). but if you need that, you can always take from different sources like wedding money, or savings. but most of the time, you get covered with $5 change…
2 words: government programs
I got married when I was 23. I finished colleges the may before and was working for a couple of months already. My wife was also working. Plus we got wedding money; trust me noone was supporting us and we didn’t want anyone to support us. If were mature enough to get married then we should be able to take on the responsibilities that come along with it. I have many friends who are still supported by their parents whether they’re in kollel or in school. Its a little immature but if they have no shame asking their parents for support then so be it.
good question, some couples make by with wedding money and just a little help from parents. even people who marry later usually live above their incomes and are still being supported.
There are girls and boys.
Boys whose parents can’t or won’t support them, will either start working, or marry someone who either can support them or has parents who will.
Girls whose parents can’t or won’t support them, will either marry someone who can support them, or will marry someone whose parents will support them, or will wait until she can support them. Sometimes, parents may be more willing to help for a couple of years until she finishes her degree.
If both husband and wife work they can support themselves even at a young age 19-20. Before you have a large family a young couple can be very in control of their expenses. They don’t “suddenly” have money. They work and pay off their expenses.
BTW, Not every young couple has a car, or lives in a 2 story ranch.
no one has anything smart to say on the issue.
Either they would marry at an “Older” age when they can support themselves or perhaps live off student loans (As is the case with many of my friends)…
It’s a complicated question and if you find the magic solution, by all means, let me know!!
I don’t think it is so complicated. kfb and poster are correct. It is not an age thing, we got married and we picked an apartment we could afford. We did not have cell phones and things we could not afford. It’s like anything else in life. If you pick a lifestyle and your income does not match it, you assume your parents should be paying the rest. If you pick a lifestyle that matches your income, you manage. When I say this to friends of mine who are CRUMBLING under the weight of their children’s bills they don’t say, “but this way is such a great idea”, they say, “but this is how it’s done”
Syag, that’s crazy. I changed my mind; I’m not dating any relatives of yours
Popa: thats too bad. After winning that million dollar lawsuit from Starbucks for not providing enough outlets for all their customers she was really looking forward to settling down.
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