Finding a Job and Finding a Shidduch

Rav Avigdor Miller on Finding a Job and Finding a Shidduch

Q:� What advice could you give a thirty year old, frum yeshiva bochur who is having a hard time finding a shidduch?

A: The first piece of advice is: Are you making a living? Why should anybody marry you? Are you making a living?! And the fact that you did odd jobs here and there, no, you’re not ready to make a living. You have to learn a parnasa. Why shouldn’t you learn a parnasa? The Gemara says that you have to learn an ??????, a trade (Kiddushin 30b).

So if you’re a kollel-man, and it’s ????? ???????, maybe. But don’t deceive yourself however. Don’t deceive yourself! If you’re a real kollel-man, then you’ll have a to find a kollel that’s willing to take you. But if you’re not a kollel-man, which most likely you’re not, then you have to find yourself an ??????. You have to be able to support a wife and children. And that’s ????? ???! It’s serving Hashem to support a family. ???? ????? ????? ??? ???? ???? ???? (Brachos 8a). That’s a wonderful statement there. “A man who works to make a living is more than a ??? ????.” �Because he is doing what Hakodosh Boruch Hu wants. He’s an ???? ???. That’s real ????? ???, �to support a family. Raising up frum children! You have to pay ??? ????? to the yeshivos. You have to buy kosher food. It all cost money.�

And therefore you have to learn how to make a living. That’s number one! If you make a good living, then you’ll find it much easier to find a shidduch.�

Tape # 825 (May 1999)�