For Princesseagle and anone who thinks "the grass is greener" out there

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    This is an incredible shiur by Rabbi YY Rubinstein world renowned speaker and lecturer. He is very entertaining and talks tachlis. He talks about how “rosy it is” out there. This shiur will boost your appreciation of a frum lifestyle. I guarantee it! This shiur is worth your time! I posted the video and the audio only version so you can pick which you want. Torahanytime also allows you to download video or audio shtusim to watch or listen to at a later time.

    am yisrael chai


    What do you mean by “audio shtusim?”



    Please change shtusim to shiurim I am posting from my phone and it has a mind of its own lol.


    Thanks so much, WIY. But where’s the link? Also, is it available on Kol Haloshon? TIA.


    Is there any reason why you aren’t posting the URL?


    Haha slip of the tongue there


    Yiddin need to understand how lucky we are to have been born into Yiddishkeit. Seriously. We do have ups and downs but we have to have emunah and bitachon in Hashem and that is what gets us through the hard times. It is unfortunate that our religion is taught negatively with the list of don’ts when it should be taught positively with the list of do’s. A Yid should be b’simcha and be happy to serve Hashem. When you are surrounded by the positives you don’t look at the lo tasseh’s as negatives you look at them as gedarim, boundaries and safeguards or how compassionate our religion is because it does not allow us to do certain things that will effect others or ourselves negatively.

    For instance when I explain not eating milk and meat together to a goy, I say we are a compassionate people. How could we possibly cook a calf in the milk of its mother? I speak about how Hashem thought everything out to the Enth degree even to avoid such a minute occurrence.



    For heavens sake please change it to audio shiurim not shtusim I didn’t mean to call shiurim shtusim chas vshalom.


    Hey, thank you. Yes, i vouch for Rabbi Y.Y i listen to him alot.. What shiur are you refering to? Did you say you posted it on Torahanytime? Can you post a link or tell me what it is called? Thank you!

    i guess i’m just kinda fed up … . Too bad if you do what your not supposed to .. . it’s too hard to hold on!!!!


    Inspiring Our Children To Walk The Right Path PART 1

    Incredible shiur sorry that it didn’t come up sooner. On that page you have an option to either view the video, listen to the audio or download the audio or video for later.


    PrincessEagle and pretty much anyone else who sees judaism as a bunch of nos:

    how old are you? do you live at home? do you work? do you have any significant responsibilities?

    im not trying to be offensive with these questions, im just trying to make a point. ill explain after someone answers.



    Trust me I know how you feel. Its hard for a guy too. We have to do all in our power to constantly reJEWvinate ourselves and get fresh inspiration. I try to listen to shiurim as often as possible and I learn every day from safarim that give me chizuk. There’s no shortage of books you can read to keep you inspired.

    Read Garden of Emunah.

    Stop surviving start living. (A real eye opening book that will change how you view this thing we call life)

    The 6 constant mitzvos.

    On the derech (by Rabbi Rubinstein. Awesome book in my opinion. Covers so many basic topics)


    After coming back from the mountains I think I can say with a clear conscience that the grass is definitely greener there.


    WIY they are amazing shiurim, where did you listen to them? On Torahanytime? On the Derech is an excellent book.

    What’s the 6 constant mitzvos? Whose the author? And whose the author of stop surviving start living?

    Thank you for your understanding – really i appreciate it! Like i said i’m kinda just fed up for a lil..

    Bombmaniac – what’s your point? 😉


    Aries, I hope that’s not the reason you tell yourself. I doubt it is. What would you tell them about Shatnez? Eventually it just narrows down to the fact that we are following orders from Hashem who took us out of Mitzraim.



    I get most of my shiurim from I also have downloaded from

    to name a few.

    The 6 constant mitzvos are

    1. Know theres a G-d

    2. Dont believe in any other power

    3. G-d is one

    4. Love G-d

    5. Fear G-d

    6. Dont be mislead by your heart and eyes

    The author of stop surviving start living is Rabbi Benzion Shafier

    His website is well worth checking out his book(s) and shiurim.


    well i wanted a clear answer before i wrote anything because it may not apply to you..but my point is that someone who has everything done for them, has no responsibilities like a high school kid or college kid or basically anyone who doesnt really have any real responsibility cant possibly appreciate judaism as it should be appreciated because they havent lived life yet. to them its just like you said “a bunch of nos” because what else are they doing? the “rules” arent appreciated because the person cant possibly understand how or why they apply…basically the more experience one has with life teh more appreciative they are of the so called “nos” because they realize their purpose.

    i answered you without the information i had asked for…so this may not apply to you.



    How’d you like the shiur?


    wow bombmaniac, you put it so well, re what you said :

    “…. anyone who doesnt really have any real responsibility cant possibly appreciate judaism as it should be appreciated because they havent lived life yet. to them its just like you said “a bunch of nos” because what else are they doing? the “rules” arent appreciated because the person cant possibly understand how or why they apply…basically the more experience one has with life teh more appreciative they are of the so called “nos” because they realize their purpose. “”

    I certainly had my “experience” as a young 20 something year old. Floating around america, pretending to be a flower child, looking for love, community, freedom, urban communal living, and in the end, finding my soul in Judaism. I just turned myself over to Serve the Ribbono Shel Olam, after all wasn’t that what I was searching for?

    You really have a lot of depth of understanding of things.


    But WIY where is Part 2?



    I don’t know if it has been recorded yet. It will probably be posted shortly after it is recorded.


    bombmaniac, thank you for the response, i appreciate you didn’t just “shoot me” that this must be what’s with me … 😉

    Once a person is grown up and they start to understand what life is about, realising that we’re not here forever and seeing that once you take away all the thrill etc than the only thing there is, is connection to G-d, it becomes easier … i suppose there is a difference between knowing it and acting on the feeling! i don’t look at Judaism as only no’s, i never used to anyway, i think i’ve come to a point where i want to just have some of the things and i guess i’m trying to find who i really want to be in the future!! It’s hard, and i’m kinda just fed up with fighting and in the struggle i’m coming across all sorts of questions which i never did have in earlier years .

    Always run with scissors fast – it’s almost that what i want to do! Let me try it all out and than feel that it’s only this! i have had times when i felt it strongly – it’s all emptiness, only connection is what counts! but still..

    I don’t think it’s so much that i’m thinking “the grass is greener” as much as i want to see the beauty in yiddishkeit, and i want to have some of what they do, not nec. living there life… but maybe i’m just kidding myself 😉

    WIY the shiur is just … the best!!! He’s the most amazing speaker and person and anybody who can go listen to him!!!!! I also heard part 2, it’s really something. Thank you for asking!


    “It’s hard, and i’m kinda just fed up with fighting and in the struggle i’m coming across all sorts of questions which i never did have in earlier years “

    so go ask someone. i would have had a thread about what you just said BUT MOD 80 deleted the submission because he felt I was bashing rabbonim…which i wasnt…

    you obviously dont know the answer to your questions or you wouldnt be bothered by them anymore. you can try and find the answers on your own but youre already biased by your own desires. so go ask someone. if youre in high school, ask your rebbi or rosh yeshiva (depending on who you made a kesher with) if youre in beis medrash, ask a shoel umashiv, rebbi, or rosh yeshiva. (again depending on who you made a kesher with) if youre out of beis medrash then ask YOUR rav. if youre out of HS and beis medrash you should already have a rav with whom you feel comfortable discussing anything and everything. if not…aseh l’cha rav 🙂

    you gain nothing by harbouring questions within your heart…i know people who are off the derech today because they held their questions in for so long taht they became unanswerable. years later they wander into a kiruv place, mention their “big problem with judaism) and get a REALLY simple answer in return…and boom. inner conflict. because the question was so big, the answer was so small…and theyre already used to life as it is. seriously…if you have questions about self identity, religious identity, emuna, hashkafa, yahadus etc…go ask someone.

    as for the beauty in yahadus…in my opinion that is something that can only be experienced individually..not shown. you can be invited to every rav’s house for shabbos, attend every tish or hachnassas sefer torah, but unless you come up with your own understanding and appreciation for it…it all rolls off you like water off a ducks back. you get appreciation for yahadus, like i said earlier, by living. thats not to say that others cant facilitate your appreciation…but it cant be “given” it must be experienced. (IMO)


    double post: judge me!

    anyway…i can share my experience wondering “what if i werent frum”

    everyone thinks it at one point or another…especially now when were so exposed to secular life.

    when i was around 16 i used to wonder what it would be like to have a girlfriend. so one day im online and someone messages me asking for advice. he tells me that hes filling out an application to work at an upper class camp in maine an theres a question about mental health. theyre asking if hes ever had psychiatric treatment or has any mental illnesses. so i ak him if hes had…and he tells me that when he was 16 he attempted suicide by hanging because his girlfriend had dumped him. i instantly appreciated those halachos.

    how about shabbos. i used to dislike shabbos for the same reason that everyone who dislikes shabbos, dislikes shabbos. it was boring. oh my goodness! shabbos ending at 9:30! what even! i would seriously go out of my mind every shabbos if my friends werent home because i so desperately wanted to turn on my computer and entertain myself…i never did, but i really wanted to. and then i got a job. and my life went to the dogs. all of a sudden i had responsibilities, obligations, problems, worries…AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

    mind you i was 17! most people dont get jobs until theyre out of beis medrash…i was thrust into all this a little bit early in my life! but shabbos took on a new meaning. now when i walked through the streets on shabbos and saw goyim running for busses, taking on cellphones, driving to shopping centers, cleaning their porches, working on cars, or even playing handball…i would smile. i would almost laugh…because i imagine how miserable their lives must be if they NEVER have the opportunity to just leave it all behind and REST! never experience menuchas hanefesh…never experience a day without worry…to never just sit back…and enjoy life in its simplicity. ever studied hilchos shabbos? thats about 5 billion “no”s appreciated right there 🙂 i can go on…but im hungry and bored.


    bomb, yes, I think you have what to offer in kiruv


    so ive been told..i just have no idea where to go…


    bomb, that makes three great posts on this thread.

    Princess, you can ask anonymously on (and possibly on aish).



    bombmaniac, you really write well, and i really appreciate your words as well as sharing your experience.

    Sometimes i really wish i were able to share / ask / discuss just like you describe. It can really get so difficult at times!

    Although i would really like to do so, i think that i have come to a see that it’s just me, only me. I can hear lots of things – and i should make an effort to hear more shiurim and read more books – but at the end of the day, regardless of anybody else, it’s just me, i have to live my life and i have to make the most of it.

    There have been times when i have felt really desperate to talk to somebody and felt like i had nobody to turn to. It’s a very lonely feeling! Nobody cares, why bother?

    And the answer is, because it’s MY life and it may be true that nobody cares but i have to care because i’m the only one losing out. Yes, it can be difficult to care too..

    Self identity, religious identity, etc it’s true i’m struggling but can anybody else really help me?

    i’m not sure i’ve been clear… sorry for the ramble!


    have you let anyone try? or have you given up before you even started…


    bomb, I found your post about “What if I weren’t frum” interesting, so I thought I would give my experience with that and hopefully let PrincessEagle see another viewpoint. When I was in high school, I was suffering greatly from my family and community issues, and tried to find happiness and fulfillment in other “things”. I went through a few girlfriends (both Jewish and not), was part of a Goth scene, among other stuff. (No drugs or alcohol, though.) And while these offered me temporary relief from my issues, and some experience with responsibilities, they didn’t really help with anything important. What DID help was trying to develop a closer relationship to G-d. I feel that G-d understands me, and my issues became less and less of a problem the more I saw G-d in my life. I still sometimes have problems with or don’t agree with certain aspects of Judaism that other people maintain and sometimes try forcing on me, but I feel that my relationship with G-d is so good that I feel responsible and self-assured enough to know what works for me and what doesn’t, and as long as I maintain that connection and keep positive about my goals and ideals in Judaism, and they help me grow closer to G-d, then I truly feel the happiness and fulfillment that I couldn’t find elsewhere.


    The grass is definitely not greener on the other side. The grass of a life with Yiddeshkeit is the richest, purest, most radient grass that you could ever imagine. I am a baalas teshuva. I have seen both sides. A life without Hashem and yiddeshkeit, isn’t a life at all. It is all instant gratification and quick fiixes of “happiness.” (Whatever their perception of happiness is.) It doesn’t last, and it isnt fulfilling. So many times I wished that I was born into a religious family so I wouldn’t have to see what a secular life was like. I have accepted that it isn’t what Hashem planned for me, and I have such a good relationship with Hashem now because of it and my experiences, like Middlepath said. I know I would be a very different person if my life went a different way.

    I feel as though the people who dont really feel what a life of Torah and emes is all about, who are looking to the other side, just havent tasted the sweetness of yiddeshkeit yet. IY”H one day my goal is to open up a school that concentrates on the love of Hashem, the love and excitement of Judaism, simcha, and a place where there is acceptence and seeing each student as a neshama with a life of growth ahead. I have been through the school system and I feel as though this is missing. There are too many rules, and cookie cutter statuses. Like, if you dont fit here or there you arent accepted. It isn’t easy.

    princesseagle, no one is judging you here and we are here to help :-).Teenage years are hard. It is all about figuring out who you are, where you fit, what you want to do with your life. Some adults still are figuring it out. It is part of life. But it is always good to talk to someone. Im here for you!


    Middlepath – like i said, thanks so much! You make so much sense 😉

    Emunas Itecha, thank you for your words, and thank you for not judging! i’d love to hear more about your experiences and why you choose judisam if you would share. i know it’s a public forum on here though.. btw what makes you think i’m a teenager? just curious 😉


    PrincessEagle- I have no problem telling you about my experiences, just ask. It is a public forum, but no one knows who I am, which is great and also I feel like Hashem makes people go through things and different journeys in life to help themselves, to become wiser, and use that wisdom to help others.


    “IY”H one day my goal is to open up a school that concentrates on the love of Hashem, the love and excitement of Judaism, simcha, and a place where there is acceptence and seeing each student as a neshama with a life of growth ahead.”

    chassidus…in a nutshell.


    bombmaniac.. emes :-). How’d you guess??

    PrincessEagle- I forgot to answer your last question. What makes me think your a teenager? I Just got that vibe by what you write..I could be very wrong though. Am I? 🙂


    Emuna, how old were you when you became a BT? If you were so young that you went thru our school system, how did you come to teshuva? Sounds like you have a fascinating story to share.


    “bombmaniac.. emes :-). How’d you guess??”

    are you chabad?


    MindOverChatter- I was going into 9th grade when I became fully religious. It was “my” choice. I put “my” in quotations, because Hashem really had His hand in mine the whole time. I started the process of becoming religious when I was around 12, 13 years old. I was in public school until 6th grade and then switched to a modern orthodox school for 7-9th grade. 10-12th I went to a Bais Yaakov school. After that I kept learning and growing, discovering more things in Yiddeshkeit that touched me in the deepest ways, and now I am where I am today BH and will continue growing with Hashems help.

    A year after I became religious, my family also did complete teshuva. My two younger siblings have basically been religious their entire lives :-).

    How I came to teshuva is a story in itself.

    Bombmaniac- No I am not Chabad. Why? Are you?


    no but it seemed like you were.


    Nope. There are a lot of different types of Chassidus, BH.


    oh im well aware…


    haha what kind are you?


    Wow, thanks so much for sharing!

    “How I came to teshuva is a story in itself.”

    Please, I’d love to hear it!


    im not a chasid of any kine, i just live in BP 😛


    “im not a chasid of any kine”

    Me neither. They’re all behaimes, and besides, I’m allergic to milk.

    Mods, it’s a joke! The plural of cow used to be kine!


    Mindoverchatter- It is really my pleasure. The story of how I came to be religious is long and very detailed. If the mods let, you can email me privately and I will start from the beginning. I would just rather not have such personal things on the internet.

    Bombmaniac- Boro Park is definitely filled with Chassidim. For some reason, I never go there.


    Please! Mods? TIA


    Emunas, I’d love to hear the story too. Can I add myself to the list? (I completely understand if you don’t want to send it to a bunch of people)


    am yisrael chai


    Count me in, too!

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