free day care for the kollel wife

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  • #1288389

    kitov
    Participant

    Free day care for the kollel wife is much needed in our generation.
    Kollel wives need a place to drop off their kids so they can go to work and make parnassah for their growing family otherwise they will pressure the husband to drop out of kollel and go to work.
    This is how we are losing a generation of kollel youngerliet.
    Why oh why can’t we build free day care facilities like we built yeshivas ,mikvahs and synagogues ??

    #1288398

    Joseph
    Participant

    A wife and mother should be stay-at-home. Women don’t belong out in the wide world.

    #1288396

    Meno
    Participant

    Also free rent.

    And free car insurance.

    #1288406

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    Drop the yinglach off at Joseph’s house….consistent with his view that all bnos yisroel should “stay at home” and “don’t belong out in the world”, he has graciously offered free day care for all YWN readers who must work for a parnassah so he has the opportunity to provide them musar as to the error of their ways…he will also provide free rent, car insurance and to the first ten women, a free tichel

    #1288465

    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Gadolhadorah, that’s ridiculous. You can’t ask him to babysit the kids of people who work. You can only expect him to support all the women staying at home. That’s all.

    #1288527

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Then again, Joseph never said he’d be at home watching the kids, did he?

    Presumably, he may be a daycare owner who runs the business side of things from a remote office only accessible to him and his twelve other male employees who always are in attendance, so there is never a question about making minyan

    #1288545

    huju
    Participant

    If we built free yeshivas, how do sign up my kids? And please post the addresses of the free mikvahs and synagogues.

    #1288540

    Avram in MD
    Participant

    Joseph,

    A wife and mother should be stay-at-home. Women don’t belong out in the wide world.

    If a man wanted to learn in kollel, but in order to feed his family, his wife would have to work outside of the home, would you advise him to not learn in kollel?

    #1288544

    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Seriously though, kitov is so right! ☺

    In the US at least, childcare is hugely expensive and makes it difficult for women to go to work. For kollel women, they need to make a salary that not only pays significantly more than the cost of childcare, but enough to support her entire family on top of that.

    Other Western countries provide childcare.

    In my humble opinion, kitov’s is a very reasonable request. There is a need. There was more communal help back in the day and today some kollel women may have to compete with higher expectations with fewer resources.

    Even with childcare it wouldn’t be easy. I think it’s awesome that kitov voiced a need that she sees in her community. Amen.

    #1288550

    mw13
    Participant

    huju:

    If we built free yeshivas, how do sign up my kids? And please post the addresses of the free mikvahs and synagogues.

    +1

    #1288576

    Joseph
    Participant

    Avrom, as long as you realize it is a compromise/unfortunate that the wife has to work outside of the home, and it isn’t the ideal, then you might be okay doing so.

    #1288588

    Avi K
    Participant

    Joseph, men should become lawyers and CPAs and put in 3,000 billable hours per month as per the ketubot they signed so that their wives can stay home and make on-line purchases. When will the men learn? On shabbatot and moedim. The rest of the time they will suffice with keriat shema morning and evening.

    So far as the OP’s question, just as there is no free lunch there is no free day care. Someone has to pay.

    #1288587

    WinnieThePooh
    Participant

    I don’t think kollel wives need day care- free or any other kind. But their children might.
    I doubt though that it is just expensive day care for babies that are making kollel couples reconsider the husband staying in kollel. There are lots of expenses in raising a large frum family, and even if someone would be able to sponsor free day care, that would not solve the issues of how to pay for school tuitions, insurance, rent/mortgage, clothing, etc etc on just one salary.

    #1288805

    adocs
    Participant

    Joseph-

    That’s a cop-out.

    Answer the question.

    Choose one.

    A) Husband learns in kollel, while wife works

    B) Husband goes to work, while wife stays home

    #1288837

    Joseph
    Participant

    Children need their mothers; not babysitters and not day care.

    #1288901

    adocs
    Participant

    Joseph-

    So you choose B

    #1289252

    bmyer
    Participant

    What would the kollel wives be doing in this day care? Can’t really picture them playing with blocks..maybe cooking? Could their kids come? What would happen if they don’t behave?

    #1289437

    assurnet
    Participant

    “So far as the OP’s question, just as there is no free lunch there is no free day care. Someone has to pay.”

    EXACTLY!!! Calling it “Free” is a misnomer – childcare professionals, a location, food, ect. doesn’t just fall out of the sky like the mann. All these have an associated cost which requires to be paid for. Normally the parents sending their kids to the daycare are the ones flipping the bill, however if they don’t that doesn’t magically make those costs go away. Somebody else has to pay for it instead – so for those in favor of such a thing who do you propose should be paying for it in place of the parents?

    #1289477

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    The vast majority of young families in the frum tzibur are very responsible, work incredibly hard and pay their bills on time. However, there are a small number who sustain the stereotype of the irresponsible and bumbling kollel yungerleit who somehow have a sense of entitlement that the tzibur owes them a parnassah and the “stuff” they need (childcare, chinuch, rental payment, groceries etc) should be free or paid by others. If you try to collect an overdue bill its like they say, “the Ebeshter will take care of my obligations since I’m shteiging 24×7) . Again, this is a tiny minority of frum familes but they convey a much large negative image which gets magnified by the retelling of these incidents.

    #1289560

    Gadolhadorah
    Participant

    It used to be possible for day care “cooperatives” would operate in different homes such that each mother would have several days a week she could get out of the house for part-time work, etc. Today, that’s much more difficult because in both the U.S. and EY the child-care authorities have licensed these facilities and generally made it difficult for “rotating” locations without all the required safety and care equipment. The fines for violations can be very steep.

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