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  • #599195
    happiest
    Member

    I always feel so lonely. At this stage in life, most of my friends are married and many with kids. They all have lives of their own and never can hang out (those that don’t live oot). I probably have about 2 friends that are not married but they are in college full time so they can’t hang out either.

    Basically, I just feel lonely. I feel like I have no one to call and ask if they want to go out, no one to call and say “hey, I’m having a hard day”. No one to say, “hey, can I tell you what my student said today”… I feel like it makes my situation that much harder cuz being lonely just brings me into a depression and then the cycle begins again.

    I know I’m rambling here so I’ll stop now. I feel better already by getting this out. Thanks:)

    #805986
    Sam2
    Participant

    I always feel the same way. Find a few hobbies. Posting in the CR is a good one. Maybe find a book series or a sport or something. Bowling works for me a lot too, even by myself.

    #805987
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    oy,

    whats ur age range?

    #805988
    collegegrad
    Member

    It’s a hard stage. I can definitely feel your pain. Try to find some new friends even if they are older or younger than you. Find something you enjoy doing and take it up. Enjoy your last few years where all you have to think about is yourself and live it up. Yes that sounds selfish but its true, you have the time and money now enjoy it! When you sleep in late on Shabbos and Sunday enjoy it, your friends with kids can’t do that. All in all don’t waste your single years moping that you are not married. Do something productive that you can look back at be proud of.

    #805989
    Queen Bee
    Member

    I’m in the same boat as you. One of the last of my single friends just got married. Try to keep busy, even if it’s just to help around in the house. Maybe play some games, take on some hobbies? Writing, reading, an instrument–or be a nerd like me and work on math problems? Trivia quizzes. I used to do some needlepoint. It’s relaxing (and no, it’s not just for old women!)

    One thing I started recently is learning a sefer. Right now, I’m learning Yehoshua. After that, I plan to learn shoftim, and move on to Shmuel and Melachim. I also plan to learn the parsha every week. You can say Tehilim, maybe learn some halachos from the kitzur. Listen to shiurim online (wish I had more time for that). Ummm what else? Maybe pick a random topic and research it online? I’m sure you can come up with things 🙂

    #805990
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    happiest

    “I know I’m rambling here so I’ll stop now.”

    You are NOT rambling in the least. You are just putting yourself down again, which can lead to depression.

    You are feeling lonely and isolated. Where can you go to enjoy yourself and meet others? A shiur? A dance class?

    Please feel free to share with us in the CR your difficult day and what your students said. We enjoy hearing from you and sharing with you.

    You are not alone.

    #805991
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    maybe you can team up with workinonit

    #805992
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    happiest, I’m also in that situation. I feel lonely a lot, and when I do, that’s when I start feeling down the most. Of course, the best way to get rid of that loneliness is with marriage, but until then, it’s healthy to try and occupy yourself with a lot of other things to keep yourself busy with. I’m in school most of my day, but when I’m not, I try to stay busy with other things. And more recently, posting here with you keeps me occupied, positive, and fulfilled. And I hope you feel the same! Y’know, I have an email address on my music page on Soundcloud, if you want to be in contact more, I wouldn’t mind at all. I think it would benefit me, too. But really, I think you can definitely consider everyone here that has helped you to be your real friends, and consider them a real part of your life. I consider them, and you, part of mine.

    #805993
    kapusta
    Participant

    I know what you mean. Is something like Ohr Naava (or something similar) an option for you?

    *kapusta*

    #805994
    aries2756
    Participant

    The best way to STOP feeling lonely is to “volunteer”. Give of yourself and you will feel a lot better about yourself. Everyone has some gift they can share with others. You say you are a teacher, maybe you can tutor some kids after school who can’t afford to pay for tutors. Maybe you can volunteer at a nursing home or hospital to work with kids who need to keep up. Maybe you can volunteer to read to others.

    Another way to keep from being lonely aside from reading is keeping a journal. Be very tough on yourself and give yourself a time frame or page frame. YOU must write for at least half hour each night, or you must write at least 3 pages every night. Try to get into routines and good habits.

    Another thing you can do is take up a musical instrument. When you do that, much of your spare time is taken up with practice and you get a sense of accomplishment as you progress.

    If you are taking up reading, you can choose an author and read through his/her entire collection of books, or join a book club whether online or in person at the library. There is something I always wanted to do, and maybe you can do it for your local book store or for the school you work for (library). When I go shopping for my grandkids, the bookstore has no clue what books are appropriate for what age group. I would love to have a written guide according to book or according to author. Who better to do this than someone that has time on their hands and is bored? You can go into your local bookstore or school library and discuss it with them. Then you can call publishers and get their suggestions and start working on it. Who knows you can become famous for the first person that put together such a guide. Also it would be great if you can make a guide/chart for parents to print out for their kids, so they can keep a record of which books they have read so they, their parents and grandparents will know which books to buy and which to steer clear of in their appropriate categories.

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