Frum couples reaction to proposal
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- This topic has 17 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 10 months ago by notasheep.
July 31, 2013 5:57 am at 5:57 am #610214happym19Member
What do frum couples do/ how can they react after proposing?July 31, 2013 6:31 am at 6:31 am #969320Israeli ChareidiParticipant
Smile, say Mazal Tov, thank Hashem, call parents and grandparents…July 31, 2013 9:08 am at 9:08 am #969321
happym, seems like only yesterday you were asking about seminaries. You’re about to get engaged??
Wow!! Mazel Tov!!
Keep us posted…July 31, 2013 12:16 pm at 12:16 pm #969324DaMosheParticipant
After my proposal, she reacted by saying “Yes!”
Then she started laughing. We didn’t call family right away – we wanted some time to ourselves to talk without our phones ringing every 10 seconds. Our families knew I was going to propose, so it wasn’t like they were left in the dark.July 31, 2013 12:55 pm at 12:55 pm #969325
I said,”Mazel tov, Chosson, I love you!!!” to my future husband. I laughed, I cried, and then we went to my parents’ office which was about 20 minutes away, to tell them in person, and called my in-laws, who already knew my husband was proposing to me that night.July 31, 2013 4:53 pm at 4:53 pm #969326
So happy for you, I forgot to answer your question!
DaMo definitely gave you some good advice. I don’t think anyone can tell you what to say. That’s a little silly, no?
But make sure you both have your cell phones OFF. Spend a little time together savoring the moment before the whole balagan starts. And say whatever you feel is right.
You got this far, I’m sure you can do it!July 31, 2013 7:21 pm at 7:21 pm #969327EnderParticipant
Happy never said she is getting engaged. Lots of assumptions are flying around the room.July 31, 2013 7:37 pm at 7:37 pm #969328midwesternerParticipant
I had discussed with the shadchan that I was gonna propose that night. So he told her my plans. When she got in the car that night, she said YES, before I have had a chance to pop the question! SO I told her to hold that thought, we went out to eat and then to the place I planned to ask. By then it was somewhat anti-climatic. At least back in the olden days when that happened, we did have time to savor it ourselves, as no one had cellphones back then!!July 31, 2013 8:36 pm at 8:36 pm #969329jewishfeminist02Member
That’s terrible! Why would the shadchan ruin that special moment for you?August 1, 2013 3:14 pm at 3:14 pm #969330
I had discussed with the shadchan that I was gonna propose that night. So he told her my plans. When she got in the car that night, she said YES, before I have had a chance to pop the question! SO I told her to hold that thought, we went out to eat and then to the place I planned to ask. By then it was somewhat anti-climatic. At least back in the olden days when that happened, we did have time to savor it ourselves, as no one had cellphones back then!!”
And THIS is why the shadchan should be completely out of the entire inyan once the couple is dating….August 1, 2013 3:30 pm at 3:30 pm #969331
Oomis is absolutely right.
I have no idea why so many people disagree with her, and allow shadchanim to run the show.August 1, 2013 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm #969332EnderParticipant
Conversely, if a couple is dating for a long time, it is sometimes very kind and sensitive for the girl to have some sense of a heads up that something is going to happen that day. She might want to dress special or leave herself more time.August 1, 2013 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm #969333jewishfeminist02Member
I always dressed well for my husband– when we were dating, engaged, and now that we are married. I am sure a guy who plans to propose can conspire with the girl’s family to make sure he chooses a night that she has free.August 1, 2013 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #969334midwesternerParticipant
Worked out OK in the end. And thats the most important thing. Was 27 years ago. We have grandchildren now, BH. That shadchan is our favorite uncle. He was an elementary school rebbe of mine and my wife’s uncle. He has loads of successful Shidduchim to his credit and his daughter is one of the most successful shadchanim in the yeshivishe market in North America over the last 8-10 years. So I’d say their process works. He spoke to my in laws to make sure she was ready. Maybe my in laws over communicated to my wife in trying to determine exactly where she is holding. But I love them anyway.
Flexibility is one of the most important traits to have to maintain long term social relationships, whether marraige, family, business or whatever. Both she and I, and yes her family too, have worked our entire lives to be flexible. So now, when someone “steals my thunder” no one will die over it. It was a day of great simcha, all was forgiven, and we now have a nice story to post in the coffee room!August 2, 2013 12:01 am at 12:01 am #969335
I would place my bets the 27 years have been wonderful.
May you be zoche to many more!August 4, 2013 5:08 pm at 5:08 pm #969336ilovetheholylandParticipant
I knew my husband was going to be proposing that night, so when he gave me a huge bouquet and a really nice letter he wrote for me as part of his proposal, I wasn’t shocked….he stood there waiting for an answer and I told him that I wasn’t going to answer him until he asked THE question that every single girl dreams of hearing at some point….he immediately got down on one knee…..August 4, 2013 7:44 pm at 7:44 pm #969337
MW– niceAugust 5, 2013 2:40 pm at 2:40 pm #969339notasheepMember
My husband only proposed after we were engaged! Basically my husband wanted to be sure of a few things that he didn’t want to ask me himself so the wife of someone very close to him (I call her my second mother in law) called me in and we had a chat. Then she phoned him to come round, we discussed the result of our chat and then she said “so I think she should go home,she’ll tell her parents, you will tell yours, and then you will follow!” (We are from different cities).
That evening he proposed properly right before the l’chaim.
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