Fun with Thread Titles

[TheGoq]

I was dating one of the frum women doctors and i was wondering is she right for me? , she has non religious siblings and one of them is weird he needs mashing tuna help, and the sister seems to be friend – less, and the little brother is not frum at all what can u do when a child eats traif? even the chicken he eats isnt kosher.

I dont know who to ask for help calling all talmidei chachomim can you help me? , its not easy being single im going crazy because of laundry! do i also need to… get an engagement ring?, and im also concerned about work is it possible to be happy in a job you hate? but i really like her i can already hear them playing the wedding inro.

[R.T.]

Now that is hilarious.

Seriously, what was in your coffee this morning? Laughing Gas?

[Doodle-Man™]

Don’t worry. These are all just regional quirks. I have some questions of my own. How do people drink Mcdonald’s coffee in this heat wave?!!! They just keep going in and getting DECAFFEINATED (again.) Why do people do this?

[ZeesKite]

Hey I did that last year!!!

Thread Headings

Then it made sense. Now nobody would remember those.

[SayIDidIt™]

Lets keep em coming! (And yes, its hard being single but from what I hear, its harder the other way!!!)

[Doodle-Man™]

In this heat instead of selling McDonalds coffee any size for a dollar, they should be selling two scoops for the price of one.

[TheGoq]

Thank you R.T. just instant and 2 splenda no cream.

[Doodle-Man™]

Goq: How big was the cup? Bloomberg could be lurking in the CR.

[Shticky Guy]

Goq and zeeskite lol

[Doodle-Man™]

Why are yeshivish hipsters drinking in yeshiva? And they’re smoking too. SMOKING-Why should it be MUTTAR?

[Doodle-Man™]

What would you do if… you are coridally invited to eat Kosher food near Sesame Place? . And where should I eat if I want to eat cholov stam? I think I’ll ASK THE OPPOSITE GENDER

[TheGoq]

lol moski i totally missed this post excellent!

[TheGoq]

I was eating some cholov yisroel greek yogurt when my blackberry ten rang

it was the chief rabbi calling to wish me a good shabbos and to remind me

to try and make that kugel from the bais yaakov cookbook and that i should use healthier ingredients because his guests are yeshiva lite but the kugel should still have a yiddisha taam i reminded him of the shalom zachor invitation text he got and he told me that one of his guests is a convert trying to become a rabbi and another was a boy he was trying to keep from going off the derech i told him to make sure and button up because there was a nasty virus going around in the frum communities i wished him well on his drasha on the kasha of the beis yosef and wished him a good shabbos.

[OneOfMany]

lol very good!

[OneOfMany]

Okay, here’s one:

Dating shidduchim shidduchim dating shidduchim dating dating shidduchim.

[golfer]

One dark Nittel night

With Fire I was praying

For the safety of Americans driving in Israel,

For Rebbes riding ponies, neighing

I tried a Chassidish Cheder

And the safety made me gripe

So I went to Touro College

But it just wasn’t my type

Schmendrick stopped posting

Shang chai closed down

So I stole some extra merchandise

It only left me with a frown

I got my haircut in Lakewood, Yeshivish-style

Put on my kippa, left on my date

The Kol Koreh says I gotta go

I mustn’t get there late!

[OneOfMany]

lol that’s very good.

[Showjoe]

golfer: +1

[TheGoq]

I was trolling in wikipedia when i saw the topic how many wives some people in Utah have my wife interrupted me it was time to go to one of our favorite romantic restaurants as the rolls were served i asked her had she heard about the bread theory of the shidduch crises she told me she hadnt and that its weird but i dont know if it has any halachic implications, i asked her if you finished writing your report card comments for what is the best girls yeshiva in brooklyn she told me in full disclosure no she had not yet finished.

After dinner i went to maariv and a guy says to me you have to wait for the guy behind you to finish shemona esrai! isnt this YESHIVA WORLD he bellowed! hes one to talk the whole time he was looking for a verizon droid phone in his briefcase i mean what is more disruptive in shul i ask you!

Then when i got home my brother calls me and tells me hes thinking of moving to Canada i couldn’t believe it I’m sorry Canada really??

I mean do they even have yeshivas with high school dorms there? and what about your wife i don’t know if they even sell challah making appliances there, and then we switched the discussion to shidduchim what else? and he asked how to answer questions regarding a shidduch i told him i can relate that’s a tough one and first he should find out the girl’s names then proceed.

(goq’s note yes i realize i owe Canada yet another apology for this post mea culpa!)

[Torah613Torah]

The Goq: Hilarious.

I like OneOfMany’s best.

[DaMoshe]

edited for copyright violation

[DaMoshe]

I don’t think it’s a copyright violation – first off, I don’t think there’s a copyright on it. Second, even if it does have a copyright on it, quoting the lyrics for the purpose of this thread should fall under fair use.

Copyright is automatic–you don’t need to affirmatively claim it or register it. Quoting something in its entirety is much less likely to be fair use, and I’m not expert enough to know how to apply fair use. So we’ll just stay away from copyrighted materials.

[🐵 ⌨ Gamanit]

+1

[OneOfMany]

Torah613: At the time I had written that, there were literally five or six threads near the top with the words “dating” or “shidduchim” in their titles. quite impressive.

[squeak]

Youre kidding right? Whats the point of a cover up?

[Torah613Torah]

OOM: LOL

[WIY]

Goq

Very impressive work. Haha.

[TheGoq]

Thanks all!

[TheGoq]

Boy am I in a heap of trouble i was playing ping pong on shabbos with high school girls who have internet access which is technically tznius but.. not really, we were just discussing at what age should girls start dating, i suggested that the girls should know how to make homemade soup so the guy didnt have to subsist on kosher soup mixes and men cooking is not the answer, the girls saw my stack of envelopes in my outgoing mail pile and asked me why do i post why not just email i told them its recipes for the seriously poor.

[Little Froggie]

Masterful!!!

I read it earlier.

(sorry for messing it up now – it doesn’t make any sense now.

[the-art-of-moi]

I don’t get this thread. Here’s me feeling stupid…

:”””(

[TheGoq]

ty froggie!, taom this is a thread i started over a year ago occasionally i will write a story using thread titles look it over again and look for the tread titles in it the ones that are old you will not understand but thats ok.

[TheGoq]

So I was asking a shaila from the chief rabbi of the Czech Republic or (CR) i was just asking him questions on stuff i should know, I told him about a disturbing thing I saw, gentile politicians wearing kippahs! am I sane is this normal? and then i told him about a yeshivish modern fellows way of singing romantic songs to his wife! I mean is this jewish music? mah zeh? is this something a frum person should be doing? i think not! i might as well be calling someone blondie if they do something goyish like that.

I also asked him what i should do about the local chevrah kedisha issue i mean this is deathly important!!! the former heads of the chevrah are referring to this as the betrayal and the outcasts oy. He also advised me on things not to share with your spouse he gave an example dont share your corn flakes let her get her own bowl you dont want to give her your germs I said Rebbi i promise bli neder i will never give her my cereal.

[TheGoq]

bump

[TheGoq]

no one saw this i wanted to give it one more bump b4 it goes completly stale.

[SayIDidIt™]

Hi Goq™! That was very cute!!

SiDi™

[TheGoq]

Thanks Sidi just saw this glad someone liked it!

[SayIDidIt™]

Another great one from Master Goq™!

SiDi™

[TheGoq]

uh oh its been deleted oy vey. sorry for whatever i did that was improper mods i will try again another time.

[SayIDidIt™]

Hey, why was it deleted? I didn’t see anything wrong with it!

SiDi™

[TheGoq]

I asked my Rav about a Philosophy Question, questions on stuff i really should know, when i am leading the Yomim Noraim davening should i be thinking why are some people so smart? some genius was able to help a sick pet a goldfish has brain surgery gevalt!

Please be mochel me Rebbe but my mind wanders i know i should concentrate during Rosh Hashana davening in BP but it is hard to stay focused I think about my father i would watch him work he was a tailor and had these magical growing threads or it would seem he would make clothes that would fit so perfectly.

Rebbe i have another problem i need your guidance with my sister she wants to earn her living babysitting while living on a boat! I mean really is this an intelligent life? it makes one wonder are women really jewish?

[SayIDidIt™]

[TheGoq]

Thanks again Sidi looks like this one is gonna stay woo hoo!!

[SayIDidIt™]

Yup! Why was the other one deleted anyway? Some things just don’t make sense.

[Randomex]

The Goq: uh oh its been deleted oy vey. sorry for whatever i did that was improper mods i will try again another time.

SIDI: Hey, why was it deleted? I didn’t see anything wrong with it!

So. Did posts formerly appear without being previously approved by mods, unlike the current system?

[Randomex]

Why don’t the mods answer questions about the moderation?

It’s not like they don’t see them…

Mods, how do you always know when someone is Joseph?

Does it have something to do with IP addresses?

Do you have them automatically tracked for duplicates?

(I might want to lose my SUC certificate one day, but I’m paranoid…)

Why have I seen very few posts by mods lately?

Are mods allowed to maintain a non-mod user name as well?

If you want, you can answer me in semi-private – I’ve marked a

space on my profile.

For total privacy, if you want to be mat’riach yourself,

theoretically you could create a thread, log in as a user (e.g. me), and post your answer as that user, leaving the post as “awaiting moderation”, and notify the user on their profile page that they should check the mod answer thread. In this way, the answer would be visible only to that user.

(I did say it would be a tircha.)

Of course, I don’t know if mods are capable of posting as another user.

So, with the old “Are the news comments mods and the CR mods

the same?,” that’s my (counting)… ninth question. Let’s make it ten:

How much differentiation in standards is there between mods?

You know what – up to eleven!

Assuming it makes a difference which mod is modding, when is the best time to go for a “maybe, maybe not” post?

Um… one for Binyamin (the shevet)!

Is there any way to know when a post has been disallowed without

monitoring it oneself, so one can try to make one’s point again in

different, less/non-problematic words?

Let’s make it a baker’s dozen/13 shevatim!

Just kidding, I’m all out for now.

Mod/s, answer as a Rosh Hashono present? Please?

G’mar chasima tova to all the mods! We couldn’t do this without you! (Or at least, we’d hate the resulting circus.)

That certain mod, please be mochel me. I’m very sorry.

[SayIDidIt™]

So. Did posts formerly appear without being previously approved by mods, unlike the current system?

Nope. The post was approved and then later removed (though I can’t fathom why, especially because all it was was a compilation of thread titles…)

This happened recently and (add far as I know) there haven’t been any changes. But I’m not a Mod™ and can’t say for sure.

[TheGoq]

So i was talking to my friend the other day and i say happy times are coming! moshiach rumors? he asks, no but we need to drink the elixir of life!! there are so many good things there is good egg challah in Boro Park! and nu im going to EY for a date i will have to take El Al because i cant flap my ears, please dont ostracize me for saying this but is seeing a doctor dangerous? i should get a check up before i go, im not coping!! for no reason there are things that turn normal people insane!! like the Baltimore riots how crazy is that?! people should not bash the city though there are good Yeshivas in Baltimore!

[cozimjewish]

woohoo!!! my thread made it in there 😀

[cozimjewish]

goq – I love this thread!! It’s crazy!! Lol 😀

[Author]

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