Funny stories

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  • #611388
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Okay, anyone have any funny stories???? I’ll start

    My friend just emailed this one to me, enjoy a lesson in hebrew!

    An ??? ??? went to the Mikvah, he brought a bag full of ??????? and didn’t want to bring it in the main room. So he said to the ??? “Can you hold this for me?”

    So the ??? said “Of course, what is inside?”

    “Oh, some ???????”

    The ??? looked in the bag and laughed.

    My spelling isn’t that good, so I hope you understand!

    #990200
    fkelly
    Member

    Translation for English speakers?

    #990201
    fkelly
    Member

    A seminary girl was on a bus going away for shabbos. She reached her stop and asked the driver to open the tachtonim.

    #990202
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Yes I heard that one before.

    Seminary gitl on a bus and sees her stop

    “THE DRIVER I need to ???? now!”

    The whole bus began cracking up….

    #990203
    WIY
    Member

    Shopping can u translate that first joke?

    #990204
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    ??? ???- new immigrant

    ??????? -nuts

    ???- gaurd

    ???????-bombs.

    and now you know….

    #990205
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Any more funny stories in general?

    #990206
    TinyTim
    Member

    Shopping:

    Here are the Hebrew words and their translations…

    ??????? ??

    ??????? Nuts

    ??????? Renovations

    ??????? Explosions

    #990207
    phone_retard
    Member

    I asked some American kid for a cigarette once, and he answered em as follows ” slichah aval yesh li rak echad smolah”

    #990208
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    Yes, Im sorry, I mixed up those words, but you get the idea.

    Btw the translation is not exploding, maybe in the dictionary it is, but in real life it means bombs.

    #990209
    WIY
    Member

    Tiny Tim

    I believe you forgot one.

    ????????

    #990210
    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    What is smolah? Left, no?

    #990211
    streekgeek
    Participant

    Ani lo tachas omeid….

    #990212
    younglady
    Member

    streekgeek: thats hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    #990213
    writersoul
    Participant

    phone_retard, streekgeek: hahahahahahahahaha

    #990214
    fkelly
    Member

    An American girl told one of her Israeli friends that she is going to tinok yosheiv.

    #990215
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    If ou think about it, it’s just as bad in English, we’re just used to it.

    #990216
    Shticky Guy
    Participant

    phone_retard lol

    we were in a pizza store when this loud American bunch came in and decided to order 3 pizzas with mushrooms. One of the group after assuring the rest that he speaks Hebrew well, marched up and announced:

    ????? ????? ??? ???? ?? ??????

    #990217
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    There was once a young sem student who wanted to say a few jokes about people who think they know Hebrew…

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