Getting back into the shidduch scene

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    lost my sparkle

    I am getting out of a bad marriage after 30 years, I am terrified of getting back into the shidduch scene. Any words of “chizuk” out there? BTW I am female.


    Good luck. Not sure the YWN Coffee Room is the best place for that type of advice, though.


    yes: people are getting divorced more than ever before, so your chances of finding someone are high. use online dating btw.


    You should have much hatzlocha and find yourself only in a good place.

    After a difficult marriage, if you already haven’t, I might suggest that you should find the time to work on yourself, building your self esteem, confidence and inner happiness.

    This should be a first before seeking a spouse.

    Again, you should have much hatzlocha.


    Be careful who you get the second time because I know people who are on marriage #3 and 4. Make sure you are clear on what you want and need and realize that getting married at your age after a divorce is extremely different from the first time around and your needs will be different as well. Don’t rush into anything out of desperation because a lot of women do that. Also I don’t kniw how many kids you have and their ages but if they are young and they live with you its important to find someone who is kind and will be good to them as well not just to you. May Hashem guide you to true happiness.


    I am sorry for the tzoros you went through in your marriage, and wish you hatzlacha rabbah in finding happiness with someone else.

    I know people who have met on Frumster (now JWed, if I am correct), and are very happy. The trick is to get out there and not vegetate. Even if you just go to different events with your age demographic JUST TO ENJOY the event and not put pressure on yourself that it’s to find a shidduch, that’s a good thing. You need to get some space and perspective after a bad situation, so you don’t rebound and get into another bad situation. Network with friends and family and don’t rush into anything, but don’t be overly cautious, either. Keep yourself open-minded to real possibilities. Kol tuv.


    Lost my sparkle, first of all Mazel Tov! May this be the beginning of wonderful, happy years for you!

    I haven’t noticed you before around here, but I am here long enough to know that multiple screen names are a major No No. Having said that, I think, with all due respect, it’s time for you to get a new one. How do you feel about- “Just Got My Sparkle Back!” ??

    Because I hope that’s how you feel.

    And I’d like to think it’s the truth.

    Wishing you much Hatzlacha!


    No advice, but I want to join in with giving you a bracha to have much hatzlacha!

    lost my sparkle

    Thank you all so much. .BH i waited until all my kids were married. I felt i owed them that much. They all turned out great. Now it’s my turn. I know i will need a lot of support. I must admit, i am a bit scared, i am over 50, but HASHEM will help.

    Thank you all again. And yes, i am new to the coffee room. But i have been reading and following a lot of the threads. I hope to find lots of friends here. So shalom aleichim to everyone. You will be seeing a lot of me now.


    lost my sparkle: I just want to say that your screenname doesn’t have such a positive connotation. It’s hard to tell from online, but it might help to think of yourself as having added sparkle, rather than as having lost it.

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