Getting your Child Into a School in Lakewood

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  • #587931

    meyers
    Member

    AS YOU ALL KNOW IT IS GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO GET YOUR KID ACCEPTED INTO A CHEDER OR GIRL SCHOOL IN LAKEWOOD AND NO ONE IS DOING A THING ABOUT IT.

    WHY are we not making an Asifa regarding this subject? There are parents that are going around for months with the pain and worry of where will their child end up next year, and some parents have to go through the Busha of waiting 3 weeks into the school year in order to get their child into a school

    This MUST stop!!!!

    THE OWNERS OF THESE SCHOOLS ARE NOT LISENING TO ANYONE….

    #620927

    jphone
    Member

    I dont live in Lakewood. B”H I do not have to go through the situation described above to register my children for yeshiva. The one quesiton I have is: If it is so difficult to get children into yeshivos, why doesnt someone open up another yeshiva? It is a supply and demand issue (I hate to boil chinuch down to something so bade, but thats the way it seems). Who will stop a respected mechanech from opening up a yeshiva? Certainly not the Shulchan Aruch. Kinnas Sofrim Tarbeh Chachma. The truth will come out when people will try to stop it. All the agendas will come to the fore.

    Have the Roshei Yeshiva at BMG said anything about this?

    #620928

    Bentzy18
    Participant

    Having family in Lakewood who have been going through this for years, (as each daughter went into high school) I still wonder what solution can be found to stop the pain that so many people must endure. A certain Rav ( I hold back his name since I don’t know if they would allow me to post it) said point blank that this is wrong and as a community everyone should withhold their tuition payment until every child has a place. What makes matters worse, is that they reopened regestration to “accomidate” the fact that too many girls who applied at only one school (which by implication shows that they have space) but yet there are several families who did apply to these schools but yet don’t have a place for their kids.

    Many claim that there just isn’t the funds to keep up with the fast pace of how many chidren are being born. However, the fact is, these are yiddish neshomos that are being delt with, how could they not afford to povide them with a proper school.

    #620929

    jphone
    Member

    Its probably a matter of perception. everyone wants to go to the same place because it is “THE” place to go. Practically speaking how many students can be put into the same school. Bli Ayin Hara, the communities in Monroe, WillieB and Boro Park are also growing – kein yirbu – possibly faster than Lakewood – however we dont hear of anyone complaining they cant get their chilren into school. This appears to be an “issue” (I hate using this word) unique to Lakewood. Why?

    #620930

    Joseph
    Participant

    jphone – The Chasidim are notably unpicky oon who they accept into their Yeshivos, and are particularly makpid in making sure every child is in a Yeshiva (even if they can’t pay a dime in tuition.)

    #620932

    meyers
    Member

    jphone its not so easy to start a new school its alot of work and money involved the question is on the ros hayishiva in town why they are busy making asifas on tznius when there are tons of parents waiting like dogs to get their kids into schools for this september….

    #620934

    thinktwice
    Member

    i think that’s why lakewood has a “freezer”- because the community is “cold” to anyone who’s “square” & doesn’t fit into the “circle”

    #620935

    Think BIG
    Member

    meyers, fYI the Rosh Heyeshivas have been working tirelessly on this issue for the last few years. i think it was last year that they forbade any school to begin the school year until every child was accepted somewhere. and it worked! This is not the “only” problem that Lakewood Rosh Yeshivas have to deal with.

    p.s. I don’t think it’s necessary to compare the waiting parents to “dogs”. it’s quite offensive. thank you.

    #620936

    jphone says:

    This appears to be an “issue” (I hate using this word) unique to Lakewood. Why?

    Because people from Lakewood like to complain. Do you have something better for them to complain about? You might find on top of the page entitled “YWN Coffee Room” a button with the words “Add New” on it. That should get you started. I can’t wait to see what they’ll come up with next.

    #620937

    lgbg
    Member

    every year b”h there is knayn hora around 300 girls to be placed in school for the new school year, and atleast one new school opens up every year, however every single year there is a huge problem with girls getting excepted into schools!

    there is something terribly wrong!

    btw regarding girls high schools, I know girls who stil dont know where they are going for school! last year school started already and after yomim tovim girls had no where to go! these are not mature adults were dealing with, they are 13-14 year old yiddeshe neshamos who are embarressed facing their friends! something has to be done because this is not a way to treat yedishe neshamos.

    #620938

    Bentzy18
    Participant

    “Now are you happy”, I’m not sure what you are getting at. Are you complaining about the people in Lakewood or are you diminishing the severity of what this post is trying to accomplish?

    Personally I don’t think that people from Lakewood complain all that much more than any other group but to elaborate on this would be Loshon Horah and serves no constructive purpose. Plus use caution when speaking ill about a large group of Yiddin. There have been many people who have fallen into and suffered al pi shomayim for making such a mistake.

    As for the topic, ….. I don’t think you realize the extent of the problem. Imagine being told that your daughter who has been awarded best in Middos by her School at her 8th grade graduation does not have a place and will have to go out of town. That despite her strong academic standing and positive repoprts from all teachers that she was not worthy of acceptance? Somehow all the other girls with connections get placed and there is room for them. Yet for this particular girl they somehow could not come up with a placement for her in any school.

    Why should any girl in their early teens be forced to leave home at a time when they need their mother’s guidence the most? Why should a girl have to leave her core friends and have to start from scratch in a mew place? Why is it that they had enough room for them in 8th grade but now they don’t? This is just one particular area. What about the new kids going into 1st grade who don’t have a sibbling already placed? What about a person moving to Lakewood from another community? There are somethings in life which we can put on hold or settle for second best. However education and the effects it will have on a child we can not.

    So while you may feel that this is an issue that doesn’t have much merit there are girls now in Lakewood who still don’t have a school to go to next year. People need to speak up and something must be done to make a change.

    #620942

    jphone
    Member

    Bentzy: Please elaborate. why wouldnt a school want the girl you described? why would such a girl have to go out of town? is it a matter of space? is it a matter of what her father does for a living or what her mother wears? If there are so many new 1st graders and new to town folks, new schools should be opening up or the existing schools expanded. If there is money to send so many girls out of town, why isnt there money to open up a school and keep them in town? And, from what I am reading, every girl eventually does find a school since the schools can not open until everyone has a place. Where did that space suddenly come from? Did a large group of people suddenly pick up and leave that there is suddenly space?

    I truly believe that the existing schools dont want competition and those fighting for the same open spots all believe that this school is “the BEST” and no other schoolwill do. Is it the best? Who cares when it is all about perception.

    #620943

    Bentzy18
    Participant

    Why wouldn’t a school want a girl like I described is a very good question. However due to politics, not space, this girl has not been accepted. (They reopened registration in other schools again but still none of the schools could find room for this girl) I really can’t go into details about what the father does, since this will publicly single him out, but lets say he is an average yid, goes to daf yomi and minyan regularly but isn’t the typical black hatter. However, to go into detail of his merits or demerits is a moot point. It doesn’t matter what color shirt he wears, or car he drives, or whether or not he wears a hat in shul, he is not getting into school his daughter is. This is a girl that had no problems with her previous school, was far from being a bad influence and really was loved my her morohs and teachers. Why does she have to wait until one school finally (reluctantly) takes her in? Why does she have to feel like a burden for just wanting to be in a school with her friends? Remember 3 months ago she wasn’t a problem and the school she was in had no problem with her.

    This is not a new problem, it’s something that all of her sisters had to go through (as well as a few other girls who were not part of the “in” crowd). Not every year did they have the policy that no school can open up until every girl is placed. This year there has not been a takanah and there are still girls without a place. There is no excuse why at this time of the year that a girl should have to be agonizing where she will be next year.

    As far as perception that is a big factor for a lot of people. Many girls as well as their families don’t want to deal with choice #2. Its like that in the younger grades, but sometimes don’t have the options. More and more schools are opening up but I don’t know if it is fast enough and that many parents are weary that it won’t be the level that they want (which usually is perception as well) I think in this case everyone does find, just not where they ideally wanted to go.

    #620944

    shindy
    Member

    I am not from Lakewood, but I perhaps if a strong group of girls and their parents got together and gave support to the new schools opening up, these schools would take off and take in the girls who don’t have schools. The yeshivos in frum neighborhoods are very competitive to get into, and the girls don’t want to go to the new ones. It is a very hard situation but I feel it is up to the PARENTS and the Rabbonim to support the new schools by sending THEIR OWN CHILDREN over there, and not just to give sympathy to those who didn’t get accepted. My family had a hard time with this whole parsha, it is very difficult. In the end, I sent to the new school and was very happy with the results, Boruch Hashem.

    #620945

    not accepting children in schools bec. the parents arent good enough just pushes the parents even further away!!

    u know Bobov today is very heimish–black hats, and white socks shabbos..it wasn’t always like that..

    the fathers of those first boys in the yeshiva post WWII wore white hats—-which was really modern—e/o had television


    but the Bobover Rebbe had in mind the childrens chinuch—-and eventually all the fathers became more heimish—-they looked at their kids and they wanted to change for them and be like them…

    #620946

    Lkwd2newyork
    Member

    Hey this thread has been lost over time, but guess what! Most of the girls who didn’t have schools at the beginning of the summer still don’t!!!

    #620947

    saythatagain
    Member

    anyone remember what BY was 40 years ago? How the principals and vaad horim went from door to door begging parents of all types to send their daughters to BY. From my class, we had daughters of admorim and girls who went to Bnei Akiva. and you know what, not one girl from my class is not frum. every single girl covers her hair. NOt everyone is “charedi” but the “off the derech” rate is zero.

    Today a girl who isn’t perfect is garbage. Sara Schneirer a”h took all kinds of girls and was mechanech them. mechanech means teaching shapping not babysitting!!!

    #620948

    jphone
    Member

    A friend recently told me that a realtor advised him against closing on a house in Lakewood until all his children were registered in a yeshiva. Is it really that tough? What exactly are the requirements to get into a school? Are they looking for Einsteins (male and female), the next Rosh Yeshiva/great Rebbetzin, money – come to think of it, this is starting to sound like the “shidduch crisis”.

    #620949

    af al pi cain
    Participant

    It is one thing to say a community’s yeshivas are bursting at the seams and new schools need to be built. It is quite another to forbid Jewish children entry into the existing yeshivas, although crowded, while waiting for the new yeshivas to be built. The students who are suffering immense pain due to this rejection have taken their first step toward Off the Derech. The communities should be smart and not let them get to step 2.

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