Shidduchim: Girls & Size Zeros

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    oomis: Lucille Ball’s dress size is the equivalent of a modern day size 6. (Not that I disagree with your point, but sizing standards have changed since then, mainly due to vanity sizing.)


    I had a friend in yeshiva who would only date fat girls; size 22 and up. People used to tell him he was being petty, and that thin girls could also be pretty, and that he was looking only at externals–but he ignored them.

    The truth is, I think it was really his mother’s mishegos. She was maybe 300 lbs. and didn’t want to be jealous of her daughter in law.

    Anyway, this guy just kept insisting, and refused to go out with anyone below size 22. He’s still single today in his 40’s; he says he never went out with anyone he was attracted to.


    “He’s still single today in his 40’s; he says he never went out with anyone he was attracted to”.

    In the words of a highly regarded Shadchan I know who has made well over 100 Shiduchim- “Any guy who has been going out steadily for a year or two and cant find a girl hes attracted to, hes got issues which need attending to” (which very well fits in the case you describe). She said this applies to guys who have many more opportunities than girls. I think if no girls are attracted to him, that signals an issue as well. Of course we can now wave the Bashert issue, where I answer its Bashert he should have an issue.


    i didnt read the whole thread but as a girl, the title is insulting

    the only girls/women i know who are a size zero are under 5 feet and are naturally small. i know one woman with kids who got married as a 00p but is now like a 0-2, BUT she is 4-10

    the taller a person is the bigger the bones and the larger the hip/waist circumference, even if the person is on the low side of his/her healthy weight. my friends who are over 5-5 but pencil thin don’t wear a 0. they wear 4-6-8 because they need to-height and width wise for it to be tznius.

    if i were at the low end of my healthy weight i would be a 2-4, not a 0. but i am happy the way i am now. why do i have to torture myself to lose the weight if i am happy (and healthy)? i’m already down 25 from my heaviest and down 2 dress sizes. thats good enough for me.

    my doctor hasn’t told me to lose weight so if its good enough for her, its good enough for me.

    ps. i’ve met a few shadchanim and i don’t recall being asked my weight, just my height.


    Please don’t kill me, everyone, but I’m going to say this: A size zero is not most obviously not a normal (or even just slightly below normal) size for most people. Your body size has to do with your bone structure and musculature AND your body fat, so it’s dumb to try to say that any single size is the ideal. However, by the same token, it is dumb to label anyone who IS a size zero, two, whatever as unhealthily skinny. I think that in their zeal to defend the big people, very often people don’t realize that they are attacking the small people with the same prejudice that they are so against. I am a small person and I get this a lot in real life, and can’t for the life of me understand why people think it is less inappropriate than commenting on someone who is big.


    While I agree with the whole size zero thing is ridiculous like OneOfMany said…… please don’t condemn the skinny!!!! I am what is considered “petite” and my really close friend is also- and someone I know asked 1 of me if everything is ok with my friend? do i think she’s anorexic or something? I was laughing!!!!!!! I told her trust me don’t worry she eats plenty- some of us were just blessed with a really good metabolism- and our weight is really proportionate to our height- it just doesn’t seem like it to everyone else cuz their just looking at our waist!


    It should be assur D’rabbanan for a shadchan, boy’s mother, or the boy himself R”L, to inquire about a girl’s dress size, or any other size for that matter. If she is overweight in an unpleasing way (to him), then he does not have to go out with her again, though he could be cutting himself off from a fantastic shidduch, if he would only give it a chance. Dress sizes go up and down (so do his pants sizes, btw, especially after a few really good home-cooked meals from a kallah trying to impress her new chosson).

    We should be teaching our boys AND girls to be less concerned with externals,even as they have the right to feel a measure of attraction to their date. But do we have to make it EASY for them to be preoccupied with this naarishkeit, by making it a prerequisite, as it were, to being set up?


    Anyone that is looking for a Zero Is the Zero ….

    My logic :

    Any guesses


    The wacky, wild and crazy world of shidduchim. who, may I ask, is asking for a girls weight or dress size?

    Most questions in shidduhim that have to do with size that have been asked of me have always revolved around the size of the girls fathers bank account and his ability and willingness to share some of it with a potential son in law. Occassionally height comes into the equation, but usually not.


    “Most questions in shidduhim that have to do with size that have been asked of me have always revolved around the size of the girls fathers bank account”

    Which is similarly wacky.

    Chaya R.

    My shadchan was very honest/blunt with me, she said “Chaya, i love you but if you want a shidduch – put down the tehilim and get on a treadmill.”


    Chaya R.- “put down the tehilim and get on a treadmill.”

    You can come mow my lawn for the same price.


    Wow! I am sorry but I am so not ok with that line!

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