Tagged: Off The Derech
June 11, 2023 11:02 pm at 11:02 pm #2198717
I am a frum bais yaakov girl living in Brooklyn looking for a place where i can hangout, spend time with friends and have fun in a kosher, girl-only environment. i feel that all the “hangouts” are not for frum bais yaakov girls but i really could benefit from having a place to go and chill while being in a frum environment. Are there any such places?June 12, 2023 12:35 am at 12:35 am #2198742yungermanSParticipant
Go with your friends to a Jewish kosher Gym exercise room where they have separate men and ladies hours and go there with your friends during ladies hours and enjoy yourself thereJune 12, 2023 12:36 am at 12:36 am #2198745n0mesorahParticipant
Your girlfriend’s living room. Girls shmooze nightly for select hours. Boys occasionally shmooze all night. The rest of the time, they could only hang around. The mixed hangouts allow the girls to be around at all hours. And the boys to hang every night. Nothing better happens in a specific place.June 12, 2023 9:03 am at 9:03 am #2198844
Hangout and frum are contradictions to each other. Especially for girls.June 12, 2023 11:37 am at 11:37 am #2198930lopman23Participant
You are 15 years old and in 5 short years more or less, like it or not you are going to face the reality of the real dog eat dog world so instead of focusing on satisfying your nerve endings by “hanging out” or doing other stuff that teenagers like to do that ultimately results in causing people to pass bad judgement about yourself try to keep “keep it together” for the next few short years and it will result in a lifetime of bliss.June 12, 2023 11:40 am at 11:40 am #2198926June 12, 2023 11:40 am at 11:40 am #2198909commonsaychelParticipant
Yes its a place called trollJune 12, 2023 1:13 pm at 1:13 pm #2198983yiddeshekup101Participant
Look into Ohr Naava (https://www. ohrnaava.com/). It may be a viable optionJune 12, 2023 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #2198994135847Participant
“Hang-out” is a very wildly unreasonable, illogical, inappropriate, and absurd in the holiness of a jew, an ‘erliche yud’ has never had this word in their dictionary! not to be found anywhere in the Torah, Sorry, Drop-outs / hang-outers. and as King Solomon says: Kol Kevudo Bat Melech Penumo. but technicality there are other ways of saying that; as an ex. wanna be part of some kind of a program or organization and make new friends with erliche girls and erliche women which are very enjoying and satisfying on top of erlichkiet and yiras shumayim, there are so many organizations out here in Boro Park or Williamsburg and Flatbush for ‘every kind’ of Ehrlich Yiddish girl, who needs to air-out a bit,
we should list a few of them, but every school principle has knowledge of such,June 12, 2023 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #2199007takahmamashParticipant
The world doesn’t revolve around what other people think of you. Maybe if people worried less about what other people think, there would be a great deal less mental stress in the world.June 12, 2023 3:01 pm at 3:01 pm #2199022KuvultParticipant
The JCC in Baltimore runs Sat. night programs for Frum teenage girls. Perhaps if that’s not going on where you live then someone could start a program.June 12, 2023 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #2199075bpladyParticipant
I agree to Ohr Naava. They have many activities for girls.
Another idea is to get together in someone’s basement. Many people have very nice fixed up basements. You can all bring food, have music and have a great time in a safe environment.
If you want to meet for lunch, 1982 Coffee restaurant at 5403 !3th ave. is popular with young people.June 12, 2023 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #2199073
‘ “Hang-out” is a very wildly unreasonable, illogical, inappropriate, and absurd in the holiness of a jew ‘
the definition of hangout-
a favorite place for spending time
I’m sorry if you have a different definition of “hanging out” but this is what i meant when i asked the question.June 12, 2023 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #2199072bpladyParticipant
I agree to the idea of Ohr Navaa . They have alot of activities for girls.
Another idea would be to get together in someone’s basement. Many people have very nice fixed up basements. You can all bring food, have music. You can have a good time in a safe environment.June 12, 2023 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #2199069SQUARE_ROOTParticipant
Where in Brooklyn is a “Jewish kosher Gym exercise room”?
Seriously, I want to know.
ujm and 135847:
Your super-strict attitudes are one of the many factors that drive Jews away from the world of Orthodox Judaism and make them go off-the-derech (in my humble opinion).June 12, 2023 5:18 pm at 5:18 pm #2199090AviraDeArahParticipant
Square; there are a lot of kosher gyms in Brooklyn. Yelev veyalda and the boro park Y are two popular placesJune 12, 2023 8:05 pm at 8:05 pm #2199111GadolhadorahParticipant
Perhaps some creative entrepreneur (with good legal advice regarding local gender discrimination laws) will recognize a community need and open a venue for young women to “hang out” along with a commercial shtick (as long as its not a certain Thursday night special).June 12, 2023 8:51 pm at 8:51 pm #2199119
Avira, are there any other than the two you cited?June 12, 2023 11:30 pm at 11:30 pm #2199162Thoughtful ResponseParticipant
Directed to the OP:
Don’t let the well-intentioned, but ill informed, bother you. “Hanging out” is normal for any teenager, and the fact that you asked specifically for a kosher way to fulfill your desire for camaraderie is laudable.
There are many places where girls can go and “chill” and it doesn’t need to be to another shiur or ”chessed project”. Go bowling or ice skating or sit on a porch with a slurpee. Find a good kosher coffee house or art gallery (that your parents approve of… art can be great when not inappropriate).
The unwillingness to accommodate isn’t from das Torah, it’s from people who are too afraid to ask an open shaila. I’ve spoken to many great gedolim including several just last week while in Eretz Yisroel; a big yetzer hora of this dor is to asur everything to the point of causing resentment and anxiety.
Go chill, hangout, relax… in a kosher, yosher way. Make sure you have solid Moros to guide you. Hatzlocho!June 13, 2023 1:08 am at 1:08 am #2199168KuvultParticipant
I believe gathering girls together to recite Tehillim & hear divrei chizuk with girls publicly adopting new tsnius Chumros would draw a large crowd.June 13, 2023 10:35 am at 10:35 am #2199270jdbParticipant
Check out Ohr Naava. Ask your school to set up some after school and motsei shabbos activities. Nothing wrong with girls getting together to kumzits, play a game, have some pizza, fun, sports etc, in a supervised environment. This is what my Mesivta did for us when they wanted us out of the pizza stores on motsei shabbos. This was 25 years ago, but the scene was always the scene. And it worked.June 13, 2023 2:11 pm at 2:11 pm #2199305commonsaychelParticipant
i have 3 places
2. Troll Troll
3. Troll Troll TrollJune 13, 2023 2:14 pm at 2:14 pm #2199356June 13, 2023 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #2199457joe mamaParticipant
joe mamaJune 13, 2023 7:53 pm at 7:53 pm #2199502GadolhadorahParticipant
Kuvult: Almost as exciting as going to Home Depot and watching paint dry or attending a seminar on advanced trolling by R’ Yosef.June 14, 2023 12:20 am at 12:20 am #2199537
It seems that some people may struggle with the difference between definition and connotation.
In your personal life, “ hang out” may mean something that to you or perhaps even to everyone is not permissible (depending on your interpretation) but that is the connotation to you.
Whereas the definition I believe is significantly more innocuousJune 14, 2023 1:04 am at 1:04 am #2199552
fakenews: Perhaps to you “doing drugs” might mean taking tylenol for a headache. To many others it probably connotes narcotics abuse.June 14, 2023 10:13 am at 10:13 am #2199620simcha613Participant
UJM- “Hangout and frum are contradictions to each other. Especially for girls.”
I would think especially for boys. Boys have a chiyuv Talmud Torah. There is no such thing as free time.
But girls, especially if they’re single, should have far more free time than any Ben Torah should. Hanging out with friends in a kosher setting seems enjoyable and appropriate.June 14, 2023 10:13 am at 10:13 am #2199622
And perhaps to me “taking my meds“ means taking Ritalin well to you it may mean taking a double dose of MDMA combined with mushrooms and heroin.
The context of the question informs us, as to the perceived, meaning of the words “hang out“ in the mind of the questioner.
She seeks a healthy environment to spend quality time with her female friends, and perhaps to meet a few of their female friends while not specifically on the home turf of any of them, and preferably where there is some sort of attraction other than just the company (pizza, pottery, etc.).June 14, 2023 10:13 am at 10:13 am #2199623
To the OP:
The one place I can recommend you do not hang out is here in the coffee room.
It can occasionally be toxic.June 14, 2023 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #2199808SKD2128Participant
To the OP
Good for you that you for looking to spend time in a kosher environment. I was a teenage girl too and I completely understand that you need an outlet. Pay no attention to the “tzaddim” desperate to prove how pious they are. It is completely normal and healthy for a teenage girl to want to chill and hangout with friends. I would honestly worry about a teenager who doesn’t want that. The fact that you are looking for a kosher, all girls environment to hangout in is something you should be commemorated on. Enjoy yourself, relax, have fun.
To all those who feel the need to shame this girl for the crime of being a normal teenager, I would like to send my sympathy to any daughters you may have.July 11, 2023 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #2207618Shopping613 🌠Participant
Wow this place has changed so much.
Gosh I miss the good old days.
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