Girls out of Seminary how do you keep "shtark?"

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  • #592714
    WIY
    Member

    Girls, after you leave Seminary what do you do to keep yourself up to the levels you have reached in high school and sem? Do you do anything to grow in Ruchniyus after Sem?

    #754158
    blinky
    Participant

    sure visit the CR…

    But seriously- there are a lot of amazing speakers who give lectures- (some on shabbos too- in case you can’t find the time during the week) and you’d be surprised how many post sem girls attend.

    #754159
    tzippi
    Member

    Why are you asking?

    #754160
    hudi
    Participant

    There are many things girls do…

    Speakers, learning a musser or machshava sefer, listening to shiurim, doing chessed, and keeping in touch with teachers from sem…the list goes on and on.

    #754161
    WIY
    Member

    Blinky

    I’m a guy just curious how girls keep their haskafos and frumkiet up.

    #754162
    its_me
    Member

    get married as soon as possible to a ben torah.wishing you much hatzlocha in finding your match.

    #754163
    pet peeve
    Member

    -learn something a couple nights a week with friends (shmiras halashon, mussar, parsha, shabbos material, etc)

    -keep in touch with sem friends/teachers!!

    -make sure to set enough time aside each morning to daven, and then make sure to say krias shema at night–this really helps keep me connected and focused at the beginning and end of each day

    -keep a book of kabalos–trying to always do new things, and this helps me stay growing

    -i recorded shiurim on an mp3 in sem, and listen to them all the time. i love this! 🙂

    obviously, coming home from sem requires adjustments back into home life as well….these are some things that help me stay focused, still a few years out of sem. one of the most important things for me was staying busy: as long as i am constantly doing, being productive, that leaves much less time to waste and get into things i’d rather stay away from. the above list are “extras” that i implemented into my life for a ruchnius boost, but the main thing is to be busy, and maintain a focused and purposeful standard.

    #754164
    bpt
    Participant

    I never attended Sem (nor did Mrs. BP) but this reminds me of a funny line our Dr. told us when we were expecting our first child.

    We asked a question, and he said, “you’re reading Doctor Mom, right? (That was the book, back in the days…not sure what they read today)

    Yes, we told him. Cover to cover, and are constantly refering back to it.

    He said: That’s great; it helps you ask informed questions. But the baby hasn’t read it, so it won’t really be all that much help once the new arrival is here!

    His point was, all the tech know-how is just that. Tech.

    Put your info into practice (get married) and then you’ll see how much you still need to learn.

    Or as Mom says, the older I get, the smarter she gets (and she did’nt got to Sem either)

    #754165
    myfriend
    Member

    Here is Rav Avigdor Miller ztl’s advice from his Sefer:

    A Beis Yaakov girl should be wed soon after or before graduation. Every day after she leaves the Beth Jacob marks another step away from idealism, for the street and the office and the secular school have an unfailing effect which increases from day to day.

    #754166
    adorable
    Participant

    I just came upon this thread and thought you would be able to bring it back and discuss it again…. so how do you guys do it?

    #754167
    s2021
    Member

    Its definately easier to stay shtark after marriage simply because ur busier.. but nowadays with the shidduch situation as difficult as it is.. lets stop with the pressure. Girls- singles- U can still be amazing even if ur not married. Actually, we can be even better.. Lets live each day in the moment, and be happy where we are.

    #754168
    bpt
    Participant

    “so how do you guys do it?”

    We get married and raise a family. There is no better policeman than your spouse or your kids to make sure you stay in line.

    They know and see every move you make.(the good and the bad)

    #754169
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    AHH. A good old WIY thread.

    #754170
    eclipse
    Member

    I think it’s similar to what one tends to do after a beloved parent or rebbe passes away…imagine this person (your LIVING sem teacher or principal) is standing there.

    What would he/she do IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION?

    Or,how would he/she have advised you?

    My mother passed away young,and that helps me a lot.

    #754171
    eclipse
    Member

    WIY…to what do we owe this great honor? Welcome back.

    #754172
    individual
    Member

    There are ways to keep shtark when you’re single post-seminary. Attend and listen to many shiurim, have a chavrusa. I work in the secular world, and went to a secular college, and I can honestly say I have taken my experiences and grown. It is what you make of it, and where you feel you belong. I have a greater appreciation for Torah and a Torah lifestyle now (not that I would recommend it for everyone) You have more time when you’re single to nurture your neshama and take that with you when you are married. Your children and family will only gain from your kedusha. Hashem puts you in the best situation for you.

    #754173

    You can attend Ohr Naava and meet others as yourself.

    Not all girls attend seminary and some are the most finest and models for others to learn from.

    There are also many shiurim that can be downloaded and listened to on such as MP3.

    #754174
    brotherofurs
    Participant

    i feel so bad i know someone that was always so strong with her shtark but is sort of losing it. 🙁 i don’t know maybe i’m just imagining it but you just dont get the same type of inspiration after high school (or sem) -at least thats how i’m seeing it

    #754175
    individual
    Member

    Brotherofurs- it is harder. You actually have to work to be ‘good’ and be an eved Hashem. It isn’t handed to you anymore, like in highschool or sem. That’s why marriage can help, you have a partner to help you, but that it sin’t always the path Hashem gives everyone, and sometimes people need to growth time before they get married.

    #754176
    brotherofurs
    Participant

    yeah i’m scared for when i get into that stage.

    #754177
    individual
    Member

    There is no reason to be afraid, Hashem gives each person the tools he or she needs to succeed. It’s different once you leave the ‘yeshiva/BY/Day School system’, but you can choose to never really leave and take it with you. You can make choices. That is one good thing about being out of school, you can choose where to find your kesdusha and really connect with what turns you onto Yiddishkeit.

    #754178
    brotherofurs
    Participant

    bs”d

    oh your right!:D i hope i make the right choices then b”H

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