Girls out of Seminary how do you keep "shtark?"
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- This topic has 21 replies, 15 voices, and was last updated 12 years ago by brotherofurs.
October 20, 2010 7:15 pm at 7:15 pm #592714WIYMember
Girls, after you leave Seminary what do you do to keep yourself up to the levels you have reached in high school and sem? Do you do anything to grow in Ruchniyus after Sem?October 20, 2010 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #754158blinkyParticipant
sure visit the CR…
But seriously- there are a lot of amazing speakers who give lectures- (some on shabbos too- in case you can’t find the time during the week) and you’d be surprised how many post sem girls attend.October 20, 2010 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #754159tzippiMember
Why are you asking?October 20, 2010 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #754160hudiParticipant
There are many things girls do…
Speakers, learning a musser or machshava sefer, listening to shiurim, doing chessed, and keeping in touch with teachers from sem…the list goes on and on.October 20, 2010 9:04 pm at 9:04 pm #754161WIYMember
I’m a guy just curious how girls keep their haskafos and frumkiet up.October 20, 2010 9:13 pm at 9:13 pm #754162its_meMember
get married as soon as possible to a ben torah.wishing you much hatzlocha in finding your match.October 20, 2010 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm #754163pet peeveMember
-learn something a couple nights a week with friends (shmiras halashon, mussar, parsha, shabbos material, etc)
-keep in touch with sem friends/teachers!!
-make sure to set enough time aside each morning to daven, and then make sure to say krias shema at night–this really helps keep me connected and focused at the beginning and end of each day
-keep a book of kabalos–trying to always do new things, and this helps me stay growing
-i recorded shiurim on an mp3 in sem, and listen to them all the time. i love this! 🙂
obviously, coming home from sem requires adjustments back into home life as well….these are some things that help me stay focused, still a few years out of sem. one of the most important things for me was staying busy: as long as i am constantly doing, being productive, that leaves much less time to waste and get into things i’d rather stay away from. the above list are “extras” that i implemented into my life for a ruchnius boost, but the main thing is to be busy, and maintain a focused and purposeful standard.October 20, 2010 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm #754164bptParticipant
I never attended Sem (nor did Mrs. BP) but this reminds me of a funny line our Dr. told us when we were expecting our first child.
We asked a question, and he said, “you’re reading Doctor Mom, right? (That was the book, back in the days…not sure what they read today)
Yes, we told him. Cover to cover, and are constantly refering back to it.
He said: That’s great; it helps you ask informed questions. But the baby hasn’t read it, so it won’t really be all that much help once the new arrival is here!
His point was, all the tech know-how is just that. Tech.
Put your info into practice (get married) and then you’ll see how much you still need to learn.
Or as Mom says, the older I get, the smarter she gets (and she did’nt got to Sem either)October 20, 2010 11:13 pm at 11:13 pm #754165myfriendMember
Here is Rav Avigdor Miller ztl’s advice from his Sefer:
A Beis Yaakov girl should be wed soon after or before graduation. Every day after she leaves the Beth Jacob marks another step away from idealism, for the street and the office and the secular school have an unfailing effect which increases from day to day.March 30, 2011 9:23 pm at 9:23 pm #754166adorableParticipant
I just came upon this thread and thought you would be able to bring it back and discuss it again…. so how do you guys do it?March 30, 2011 10:31 pm at 10:31 pm #754167s2021Member
Its definately easier to stay shtark after marriage simply because ur busier.. but nowadays with the shidduch situation as difficult as it is.. lets stop with the pressure. Girls- singles- U can still be amazing even if ur not married. Actually, we can be even better.. Lets live each day in the moment, and be happy where we are.March 30, 2011 10:45 pm at 10:45 pm #754168bptParticipant
“so how do you guys do it?”
We get married and raise a family. There is no better policeman than your spouse or your kids to make sure you stay in line.
They know and see every move you make.(the good and the bad)March 31, 2011 12:10 am at 12:10 am #754169popa_bar_abbaParticipant
AHH. A good old WIY thread.March 31, 2011 2:25 am at 2:25 am #754170eclipseMember
I think it’s similar to what one tends to do after a beloved parent or rebbe passes away…imagine this person (your LIVING sem teacher or principal) is standing there.
What would he/she do IN THIS PARTICULAR SITUATION?
Or,how would he/she have advised you?
My mother passed away young,and that helps me a lot.March 31, 2011 2:26 am at 2:26 am #754171eclipseMember
WIY…to what do we owe this great honor? Welcome back.March 31, 2011 2:38 am at 2:38 am #754172
There are ways to keep shtark when you’re single post-seminary. Attend and listen to many shiurim, have a chavrusa. I work in the secular world, and went to a secular college, and I can honestly say I have taken my experiences and grown. It is what you make of it, and where you feel you belong. I have a greater appreciation for Torah and a Torah lifestyle now (not that I would recommend it for everyone) You have more time when you’re single to nurture your neshama and take that with you when you are married. Your children and family will only gain from your kedusha. Hashem puts you in the best situation for you.March 31, 2011 2:42 am at 2:42 am #754173
You can attend Ohr Naava and meet others as yourself.
Not all girls attend seminary and some are the most finest and models for others to learn from.
There are also many shiurim that can be downloaded and listened to on such as MP3.March 31, 2011 2:55 am at 2:55 am #754174
i feel so bad i know someone that was always so strong with her shtark but is sort of losing it. 🙁 i don’t know maybe i’m just imagining it but you just dont get the same type of inspiration after high school (or sem) -at least thats how i’m seeing itMarch 31, 2011 3:06 am at 3:06 am #754175
Brotherofurs- it is harder. You actually have to work to be ‘good’ and be an eved Hashem. It isn’t handed to you anymore, like in highschool or sem. That’s why marriage can help, you have a partner to help you, but that it sin’t always the path Hashem gives everyone, and sometimes people need to growth time before they get married.March 31, 2011 3:13 am at 3:13 am #754176
yeah i’m scared for when i get into that stage.March 31, 2011 3:19 am at 3:19 am #754177
There is no reason to be afraid, Hashem gives each person the tools he or she needs to succeed. It’s different once you leave the ‘yeshiva/BY/Day School system’, but you can choose to never really leave and take it with you. You can make choices. That is one good thing about being out of school, you can choose where to find your kesdusha and really connect with what turns you onto Yiddishkeit.March 31, 2011 3:29 am at 3:29 am #754178
oh your right!:D i hope i make the right choices then b”H
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