Going to the left

People with Asperger’s Syndrome are on the autism spectrum yet can and frequently do fully function as normal, healthy, human beings with most people never aware they’re on the spectrum. And this point is true in the secular world, as well.

I’m very sorry that you have felt that you need to hide being autistic in the frum world. Whoever made you feel that way is NOT following the Torah at all, and if they succeed in making you G-d forbid leave Torah, it will be mostly their fault and they will have to live with that for eternity. I am as “charedi” as they come; I don’t go anywhere without my hat and jacket, and I have taught autistic children. I have friends who I went to high school with who are autistic. Some people in my beis medrash were autistic too. There is a place in the Torah world for every kind of jew who wants to serve Hashem

There are several support groups for families with ASD, ask around in the local MH community or call Relief and they will get you in touch

It may be an issue that families indeed do not want to disclose such thing. Where it is really detrimental is when families do not use medical help from fear of disclosure. At the same time, I am not sure whether it is a necessity to bring everyone together, and seems that various organizations feel the same way. If you have some friends, families, teachers around you who understand and support you – do you necessarily need to be with other people suffering from same things? As Avira testifies, there are lots of people who would be willing to help. Maybe, some are not sensitive because they are ignorant. I have no clue, for example, of the issues involved and maybe my suggestion above is not shaiach.

PS There are cases where people seem to benefit from talking to people in similar conditions. R Twersky Z’L for example highly recommended AA meeting to addicts (even despite christian roots), but this seems to be especially important when a person needs encouragement to change their behaviors. I did not hear, for example, that, say, people with casts on their hands would need others like that around them.

Um… that would be nice but that’s not quite true. There are many with Asperger’s who fit in quite well but they put in a lot of work and deserve credit for that.
“like diabetes”? Cmon man.

I wonder — why do you seek out other autistics? To revel in certain behavior?

Many of us are either on the spectrum or have certain conditions like ADHD (like me). But wouldn’t it be better to seek out the mainstream in order to learn to manage certain behaviors?

Yes, people on the spectrum might understand each other better, or share certain challenges. But if you’re both lacking in social skills, for example, what do you gain by similar company? If I’m learning a foreign language, for example, I’d rather be around a native speaker than a fellow newbie, who has to struggle to construct basic sentences or learn the culture.

In my youth I was considered a weird kid, who was ostracized (and painfully bullied). I realize now why. Certainly no one should be abused (and the more vicious ones also had problems). However, no one should simply be allowed to get away with certain behaviors either. Having whatever disorder does not give anyone license to be silly and infantile.

Don’t be so sure that a more modern or diluted Orthodox community will be accepting either. I don’t expect to fit in everywhere, but if I fit in nowhere, then the problem is me, not the community.

@AAQ ” autism of which I know nothing.”
How about this for a novel conspect, if you have no clue about the subject refain from commenting about it, I have a son, niece and a cousin all with ASD so i have first hand knowlege

one is a young adult, one is a teen and one is child

HCS, Rayim and Hamapik all have social groups, call Relief Resourse in BP for other leads

Maid; i feel that your question to our esteemed poster was accusatory and frankly abusive. Wanting to be with people who understand your personality because they have a similar neurological makeup is not “reveling”, it is feeling validated and familiar, and not the “other”. We’re not talking about someone who is, say overweight, and prefers being around obese people to not feel that they have to lose weight. Autistic people are born autistic and that’s how hashem made them; they deserve to feel comfortable among us and each other just as much as anyone else. Whatever differences they have socially etc, are not our business. Our business is to be mekayam veahavta lereacha kamocha and nothing more.

Think of it this way; you’re lubavitch, I’m guessing from your acreenane. Imagine never being around anyone – not one person, who has heard of lubavitch, nor are they interested to. They’re all, say… mongolians. They don’t even speak English. Wouldn’t you miss being around other yidden and especially around other chabadniks? Does that mean you’re “revelling”?

Ephraim has been hurt enough as it is, let’s not add insult to injury.

@AAQ there is a old poem about “suggesting general ideas for consideration”

There was six men of Indostan to learning much inclined,Who went to see the Elephant
(Though all of them were blind), That each by observation might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant, and happening to fall against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl the Elephant is very like a wall

The Second, feeling of the tusk cried: “Ho!—what have we here so very round and smooth and sharp? To me ‘t is mighty clear this wonder of an Elephant is very like a spear!”

The Third approached the animaland happening to take the squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spoke:”I see,” he said “the Elephant is very like a snake!”

The Fourth reached out his eager hand, and felt about the knee.what most this wondrous beast is like is mighty plain, said he;” its is clear enough the Elephant is very like a tree!”

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear, he said: “Even the blindest man can tell what this resembles most, no one can deny the fact this marvel of an Elephant is very like a fan!”

The Sixth no sooner had begun bbout the beast to grope, then, seizing on the swinging tail
that fell within his scope, “I see,” he said, “the Elephant is very like a rope!”

So there you have it, my dear AAQ, you can ask question and do your research and act like people above and come up with the wrong answer.

PS do us all a favor, on sensitive topics like ASD where you have no first hand knowlege please refrain from commenting.

@AAQ, I am not in the running for CR of the CR, that nomination went to Reb E with GH being nominated as Associate Rabbi, my nomination is for Candyman of the CR

I’m not understanding how that applies here. Those posters seemed to think they were providing genuine although baseless and useless advice.

Common, thanks for the elephant story. It is indeed relevant to the state of art in knowledge transfer. The correct “big picture” algorithms would then consider – how is it likely to have a spear, a snake, a wall and a rope all in one place? If not, then they need to be substituted by other things that fit together. Some ascribe this approach to Mishna Berurah – let’s resolve the issue the best way possible (while respecting sources the best way possible) v. some previous codes that focus on resolving the shitos on their own. Not my thought, so don’t flame me.