September 1, 2011 10:24 pm at 10:24 pm #599081
Why are so many schools valuing good marks over good middos?September 1, 2011 10:37 pm at 10:37 pm #804764
I’m actually happy they don’t focus on middos.
Schools usually teach things in the worst way possible, and are usually counterproductive if anything. So it is better for them to teach something unimportant like grades, than middos.September 1, 2011 10:45 pm at 10:45 pm #804765
PBA, I’m not even talking about ‘teaching’ middos, why are they not seeing a child that has good middos but is strugling and works hard to acheive, but still only gets an 80% (which BTW is good enough to drive a car, be an EMT and most of all other importent things in real life) in the same positive way the look at a kid that was born to have 100% even without any affort (and sometimes snubbing the ‘weaker’ ones)?September 1, 2011 10:46 pm at 10:46 pm #804766
Right, so we agree.September 1, 2011 10:47 pm at 10:47 pm #804767
We agree, most people I talk to agree. Why are the schools not agreeing?September 1, 2011 11:09 pm at 11:09 pm #804768observanteenMember
deiyezooger, good point. Unfortunately though, most teachers aren’t aware of the middos of their students. The brilliant know-it-all who always takes part in the discussions, davens with great kavana and constantly raises her/his hand, may have rotten middos. Or the quiet girl in the corner who seems to be the sweetest thing who’s just shy, may be dead jealous, or badmouthes other people. Or the other way around.
Life isn’t fair. Guess who typically get’s to be head of G.O.? The smartest, lively top girls. Who’ll get the teaching job? The girl who worked hard on her middos? No. The one who’s popular, smart and well-liked. This is how things work. Tough. You won’t change the system.
But y’know what? The girl/boy who has refined middos, gets her/his reward in the long run. After all, people like to befriend or employ people who are open-minded, patient, accept others’ veiws etc.September 1, 2011 11:23 pm at 11:23 pm #804769
I have no problem with the talented kids getting to be GO heads or getting the teaching jobs. My problem is with teachers not respecting the others for who they are. They send a messege that you are as good as your marks.September 2, 2011 3:55 am at 3:55 am #804770brotherofursParticipant
i think my teachers always noticed good middot and pointed it out in the comments and columns on report cards , i don’t think it went unnoticed and i dont think teachers autimatically like students who are smart, it think their middot is a bigg partSeptember 2, 2011 4:13 am at 4:13 am #804771
Brother some teachers are realy great I guess you were lucky to have some of them but the generel attitude in schools need to change. Besides being a brother you probebly didn’t go to girls school where this is a bigger problem.September 2, 2011 4:51 am at 4:51 am #804772am yisrael chaiParticipant
Many girls schools value midos. Some have a different midah of the month with associated projects, etc. Some have midos awards at graduation. Many have mandatory chesed projects.
If you’re finding a particular problem with your girls’ schools, your best bet would be to meet with the teachers and express your concerns at the BEGINNING of the year (rather than waiting till PTA).
HatzlachaSeptember 2, 2011 5:00 am at 5:00 am #804773Abba bar AristotleParticipant
“why are they not seeing a child that has good middos but is strugling and works hard to acheive, but still only gets an 80%”
What about the child who does not have good middos – who was brought up with bad middos – and is trying his/her best?September 2, 2011 5:13 am at 5:13 am #804774
What about the child who does not have good middos – who was brought up with bad middos – and is trying his/her best?
Good point. The point of life is to work on our middos, not to just have good middos.
So why should we reward kids who have good middos; we should reward middos improvements which are above the average improvement.
Or just stop playing G-d.September 2, 2011 5:22 am at 5:22 am #804775MindOverChatterParticipant
“Or just stop playing G-d.”
Yeah. And while you’re at it, stop playing other personalities too.September 2, 2011 12:13 pm at 12:13 pm #804776mommamia22Participant
I think certain schools do focus on midos. The girls that I’ve met from YOB have the best midos I’ve seen. It’s noticeable.
In general, academia is what’s most valued. Frankly, I think life skills is the most important thing to teach. IMHO, there need to be staff who work closely with students on developing confidence, the ability to work and think as part of a team (and part of that is midos), skills that allow students (on a basic level) to earn a living once they graduate (bookkeeping classes, etc). Kids are graduating and are pushed into shidduchim quickly, but lack the skills to be part of a marriage.
I agree with you. I think our school systems have gotten lost in the system.
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