September 26, 2011 3:41 am at 3:41 am #599622
What does it mean when s/o says with regards to Shidduchim -she’s a great girl? Yichus, money, anything else? Your opinions?September 26, 2011 3:43 am at 3:43 am #813078am yisrael chaiParticipant
Why not ask them directly?September 26, 2011 3:44 am at 3:44 am #813079popa_bar_abbaParticipant
looksSeptember 26, 2011 3:45 am at 3:45 am #813080ChupMember
It means they don’t see anything particularly wrong with her, but they don’t know her well enough to give a definite description… make sense..?September 26, 2011 3:47 am at 3:47 am #813081PeacemakerMember
It means she has good middos and chein.September 26, 2011 3:48 am at 3:48 am #813082
AYC – I’m asking what does it mean to the posters, when they hear this term.September 26, 2011 3:51 am at 3:51 am #813083
PBA – So IYHO is that the only thing that makes a girl great?September 26, 2011 3:51 am at 3:51 am #813084
Depends who says it. For example, when my mother says it, it means she is soft spoken and sweet. When a certain friend of mine says it, it means she has a unique background. When a certain other friend of mine says it, it means she comes from a troubled home. So, it depends on who says it.September 26, 2011 3:58 am at 3:58 am #813085mommamia22Participant
It may mean different things to different people. If I were to use that term, it would usually mean she’s pretty outstanding in one or more areas (she’s got a lot going for her…midos, frumkeit, etc.).September 26, 2011 4:07 am at 4:07 am #813086ChupMember
Put it this way everyone has thier personal interpretation for that, why not ask the person who said it if they could be a little more specific, as it is a vauge way of describing someone. If they are not able to tell you what they mean by great girl in a more descriptive manner it just means that they don;t know the girl well enough to describe her… make sense…September 26, 2011 4:09 am at 4:09 am #813087sam4321Participant
It is a generic term and is way over used.September 26, 2011 4:13 am at 4:13 am #813088
Peacemaker -“It means she has good middos and chein.”
Ok, now define these terms you just used.September 26, 2011 4:52 am at 4:52 am #813089real-briskerMember
Isn’t it said about every girl?September 26, 2011 5:11 am at 5:11 am #813090
I would define great girl to mean that she has good middos, good hashkafos, acts like a mentch, pleasant to be around/talk to etc.
As other posters mentioned, a lot depends on who its coming from. To some people, a great girl may be referring to her fathers bank account.September 26, 2011 7:36 am at 7:36 am #813092mobicoParticipant
Absolutely nothing. It’s like hearing about a Bachur that he’s from among the top Bachurim in his Yeshivah. Fluff. One who really cares about finding out useful information in Shiduchim has to dig and ask very specific questions. This can be done nicely, but it requires persistence.September 26, 2011 2:33 pm at 2:33 pm #813093popa_bar_abbaParticipant
PBA – So IYHO is that the only thing that makes a girl great?
Who said my O is H?
Besides, the question here is what makes a girl “great”; not what makes a girl “acceptable”. Of course to be acceptable, she must be a good person, who is working on herself and developing.September 26, 2011 2:39 pm at 2:39 pm #813094miritchkaMember
why dont u just skip the whole question “tell me about the girl” cuz the answer will be “she’s a great girl!” Just ask “i heard so and so is a great girl, can you tell me about her?”September 26, 2011 3:42 pm at 3:42 pm #813095
PBA -“Of course to be acceptable, she must be a good person, who is working on herself and developing.”
Ok, so your opinion is – to be acceptable you have to be a good person working on themselves and to be great you have to have good looks. Makes sense to me.September 26, 2011 3:48 pm at 3:48 pm #813096
kapusta -“I would define great girl to mean that she has good middos, good hashkafos, acts like a mentch, pleasant to be around/talk to etc.”
I personally think the term “great girl” is fluff and now you are defining it with more fluff!September 26, 2011 4:54 pm at 4:54 pm #813097
I think when others say “great girl” they refer to someone who is really social, popular, has many friends, comes from a good family (not really sure what that means). But what I think it SHOULD mean is someone who has great middos, is sweet, nice, kind-hearted, caring, someone you can talk to, has a cute personality, and is just a fun person to be around. I’ve heard people talk about some girls and call them “great” when in reality, those girls are rude and anything but great. To each his/her own, I guess. What’s great for one person is not so great for another.September 26, 2011 6:09 pm at 6:09 pm #813098mytakeMember
Depends who is talking. Ask them what they mean.September 26, 2011 9:15 pm at 9:15 pm #813099adorableParticipant
solid, stable, and usually on a sem high!September 26, 2011 9:40 pm at 9:40 pm #813100bptParticipant
Same as is meant when someone says about the bocher, “he’s a great guy”
Tells you all you need to know.. if your idea of great is the same as my idea of greatSeptember 26, 2011 10:33 pm at 10:33 pm #813101yummy cupcakeMember
i’m disappointed. by the title of the thread, i thought it was a thread about me 🙁September 26, 2011 11:08 pm at 11:08 pm #813102bein_hasdorimParticipant
It means all around. starting with Middos and ending with middos.September 26, 2011 11:59 pm at 11:59 pm #813103
I personally think the term “great girl” is fluff and now you are defining it with more fluff!
To someone looking into someone, its fluff, but how many ways are there to describe good middos?September 27, 2011 2:41 am at 2:41 am #813104bein_hasdorimParticipant
yummy cupcake; you’re absolutely right! it should read
“Great Girls.”September 27, 2011 2:55 am at 2:55 am #813105
From everything I’ve read, I can genuinely say that all the girls here in the CR are great girls.September 27, 2011 3:02 am at 3:02 am #813106DepotMember
MP: And are all the boys here great guys?September 27, 2011 3:09 am at 3:09 am #813107
Aw, shucks, MP. Thanks! Same to you.September 27, 2011 3:09 am at 3:09 am #813108
Depot, if you take me out of the picture, yes, I would say so.
QB, thanks, but I think I have ways to go before getting CLOSE to being called great.September 27, 2011 3:11 am at 3:11 am #813109MindOverChatterParticipant
MP: You, for one, is a great guy in here;)
I think Hashem created women in such a way that they have a need to be approved by others. Men, however, are more outspoken. I sure hope that the girls AND guys in here are wonderful people IRL.September 27, 2011 3:23 am at 3:23 am #813110
MP, from the short amount of time I’ve “known” you, I can honestly say that you ARE great. Don’t think so low of yourself–you’re one of the bravest, kindest guys on here. You’ve gained the respect of many members of the CR.
I don’t think I’m anywhere near great, but thanks for the compliment!September 27, 2011 3:41 am at 3:41 am #813111
kapusta -“To someone looking into someone, its fluff, but how many ways are there to describe good middos?”
Like I said – saying s/o has Good Middos to me is fluff. If another person says this person goes to the nursing home everyday and feeds the people whom can’t feed themselves, this IMO is a description of Good Middos!September 27, 2011 6:57 am at 6:57 am #813112
Like I said – saying s/o has Good Middos to me is fluff. If another person says this person goes to the nursing home everyday and feeds the people whom can’t feed themselves, this IMO is a description of Good Middos!
I can definitely understand that. But there are some people that are just best described as being a mentch. Its hard to formulate an opinion and get an idea of what they’re like based on that but sometimes its the best way to describe them.
Everything is relative. Saying she dresses nicely, her clothing is Tznius etc is all dependent on the level of the person giving the info.
If it gets to the stage of a date, then usually you can tell pretty quickly what her middos are like.September 27, 2011 2:18 pm at 2:18 pm #813113adorableParticipant
MP- dont have a low self esteem please. the only way to continue doing amazing things is to sometimes look back at the work you have done in the past and everything you accomplished and continue that great work. if you think you are not great and dont have anything special about you and nothing that you personally worked on and overcame then whats going to push you forward to continue. you knwo yourself (better than i do) how you were able to overcome your difficult family history and challenges that came your way and you plowed through them and came out a stable, happy, healthy, warm person. you will be the most amazing husband around. Just keep up the good work.September 27, 2011 2:48 pm at 2:48 pm #813114chanieMember
While there are definitely great girls out there, and I’m talking generically, as the word “great” is relative, why is there so many problems when these great girls marry? It is an overused word that has lost it chasivus. It reminds me of a story that I heard years ago, whether it is true or not is irrelevant. A young child goes with his father to the Bais HaChaim and on every Matzaiva it tells how great the niftar/nifteres was, with every accolade possible. The young child turns to his father and innocently asks him, “Where are all the Reshaim buried”?September 27, 2011 3:51 pm at 3:51 pm #813115
kapusta -“But there are some people that are just best described as being a mentch.”
While people do use this term, I don’t see this as any different than “great girl”. IMO they can say this about anyone. If they say a reason why s/o is a mentch or great, this is more believable. I gave one example above.September 27, 2011 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #813116mytakeMember
“While there are definitely great girls out there, and I’m talking generically, as the word “great” is relative, why is there so many problems when these great girls marry?”
If “great” would mean greatness in Middos Tovos and NOT looks, money, successful career, yichus, etc. than that wouldn’t be the case. And just because her friends or neighbors say she has great middos, doesn’t mean much. The ones who really, really know are her immediate family.September 27, 2011 3:55 pm at 3:55 pm #813117
chanie T. – They say – the order of the Parshios are Acharay Mos, Kedoshim, Emor. Translated – After death e/o says they were holy!September 27, 2011 10:33 pm at 10:33 pm #813118
Thanks, MOC, QB, and adorable. It’s not that I have low self esteem, it’s that I always try to get better. I do see how far I’ve come. But what’s pushing me is realizing how far I can still go.September 27, 2011 10:34 pm at 10:34 pm #813119yummy cupcakeMember
aaaaawwwww mp, thanks!!!!!!!!!!! but don’t underestimate your value. based on your thread from a couple of weeks back, you are an amazing person, and you are so strong and thought out. may Hashem bless you with shefa bracha v’hatzlacha, happiness, health, your bashert at the right time (hopefully soon),and this year should be a year of growth for you, and closeness to Hashem, and may Hashem enable you to become the best person you can be!
ksiva v’chasima tova!!!!!!September 28, 2011 12:45 am at 12:45 am #813120ilovetheholylandParticipant
when i give shidduch info about my friends, i try to give an example, or a story that happened with that specific girl to bring my point out and show that they are REALLY great girls, not just a name on a piece of paper.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.