April 27, 2016 6:06 pm at 6:06 pm #617631
What do you do?April 27, 2016 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #1150040
☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
Something similar happened to someone I know. I didn’t hear what they did, other than stop inviting such guests. 🙁April 27, 2016 7:42 pm at 7:42 pm #1150041
you probably don’t have in mind to be koneh it anyways so you aren’t doing anything wrong now. I don’t think zochin liodom shelo bifanav or kinyan chazter would work with chametz on pesach if you have no intention of taking it. You can just save it until after pesach and make a kinyan then. However, your guest is probably jewish since you can’t invite a non-jew on yom tov so it is chametz sheovar alav hapesach and will be assur to you afterwards anyways. Also, you may have a responsibility to stop the other jew from owning chametz, but maybe the act of giving it away qualifies as a bittul. can you think of an excuse to refuse the gift? Maybe someone is the family is gluten-free or allergic to something in the chametz.April 27, 2016 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #1150042
I can tell you what not to do
DONT GET ANGRY and yell
Its likely the person is not religious and maybe is on a journey to frumkite and really meant well. Best to quietly dispose of the cake and explain nicely and calmly why it was wrongApril 27, 2016 7:54 pm at 7:54 pm #1150043
Burn it AFTER yom tov.April 27, 2016 8:17 pm at 8:17 pm #1150044
mik: You’re going to leave the chometz cake on the table for the rest of Yom Tov?April 27, 2016 8:43 pm at 8:43 pm #1150045
You’re not allowed to have someone else’s chometz in your reshus either. That’s why we rent out our cabinets/houses to the goy who buys our chametz.April 27, 2016 9:05 pm at 9:05 pm #1150046
Happened to us 20 years ago. My late cousin’s wife came with her sons for the seder. She walks in and places a ‘Passover cake’ on the sideboard in the dining room. My wife took a quick look and saw that it was from a non-kosher bakery. She quickly thanked our guest, explained that tonight’s menu was already set and instructed the eldest daughter to place the cake in the garage where it would stay cool. Daughter picked up the cake in its box along with the cloth that was on the sideboard and walked to the garage. Somehow the cake managed to end up in the compost heap behind the garage.
After Yuntif, we sent a lovely note thanking cousin in law for the cake.
We couldn’t get upset with her. She was not brought up with any religious knowledge. Her husband passed away leaving two young sons and the annual sedarim at our home were their only connection to their Jewish heritage and our side of the family. Wife explained that we eat so much rich food for the holidays that we only serve fresh fruit for dessert. The following year she brought a bunch of bananas.April 27, 2016 11:41 pm at 11:41 pm #1150047
Great story, CTL.
I liked the fact that unlike so many of the authors in our popular periodicals, you did not feel the need to let us know that those two young sons grew up to be famous Roshei Yeshiva. Because even if (sadly) their lifestyles did not change much, there’s no way we can estimate the s’char you get for having hosted them.
And I especially enjoyed the bananas!
Bananas are perfect Pesach food. Someone should start a thread about them…April 28, 2016 1:10 am at 1:10 am #1150048
No the two young sons did not grow up/end up as Frum Yidden. However, they have remained Jewish and married Jewish women. They and their still widowed mother and the boys’ children were all guests at our Seder Table. They arrived dressed for Yuntif and looking forward to their yearly dose of Yiddishkeit and mixing with the remnants of their late fathers’ family. They also brought lots of bananas.
As a segue, there had been a thread about family minhagim at the seder table. Traditionally, on the first night we host our immediate family and my wife’s relatives. The second night we have relatives from my side of the family. We cook recipes and special dishes that have come down on the particular side of the family for each night. In the drawer where we keep the guest Haggadot we have a collection of yarmulkes for the non-frum guests. They are from weddings and B’nai Mitzvah going back more than 50 years. We match guests with yarmulkes from their weddings, Bar Mitzvah or those of their deceased parents and grandparents. These two boys got a thrill when they were first given a chance to wear a yarmulke from their late father’s Bar Mitzvah or parents’ wedding, now each has a young son who proudly wears those yarmulkes at our seder and talks how they can’t wait to come back and be connected with their ancestors again.
We also use kiddush cups and other items that go back as many as 7 generations, and all the charoset is ground by hand in a brass mortar and pestle that my Great-Great grandmother bought when she arrived in America back in 1872 and had to make Pesach in a new land.April 28, 2016 2:54 pm at 2:54 pm #1150049
Joseph: It’s a B’feirush Gemara. The cake is Muktzeh so you have to cover it with a Kli until after Yom Tov and you burn it immediately when Yom Tov ends.April 28, 2016 2:57 pm at 2:57 pm #1150050
Very nice story.
We have non religious guests over, and we even had non-Jews over this year for the first seder (Shabbos, avoids any issues of cooking on yom tov for a goy). I told them that if they wanted to bring something, they should just bring themselves and a willingness to read in English parts of Magid.
We’ve had so many issues with people not knowing. Even if you give them explicit instructions in terms of what’s acceptable, they still don’t get it 99% of the time.
I serve dessert at the seder for those guests who find macaroons and jelly rings an integral part of the Pesach experience, but I do explain that they shouldn’t fill up, since we have to eat the Afikoman with an appetite, and I tell them we’re not permitted to eat anything after the afikoman.
There’s a lot you can do with bananas for Pesach.
We made banana pancakes this year, a recipe that involves just bananas, eggs, vanilla, a little sugar, and whatever other goodies you want to add. There’s also Yonanas Ice Cream, a perfect natural, parve treat made from just bananas and whatver flavors you want to add. Good item for Pesach all around.April 28, 2016 9:31 pm at 9:31 pm #1150051
Our standard reply when someone asks what they can bring to a Shabbos, Yuntif or other dinner invitation:
Please stop and pickup a bag of ice on your way, somehow even with built in ice makers there’s never enough.May 1, 2016 6:18 pm at 6:18 pm #1150052
we use coca cola on pesach. somehow, and i am surprised it got past us, a non pesachdik bottle got in to the case. When one of the kids found it on yontiff (they noticed the red cap as opposed to the yellow) they hid it under something somewhere. unfortunately, when making slurpees (we put coke into our ice cream maker for a chol hamoed treat) one of the kids didn’t want to believe we were out of coke and put in a search worthy of bedikas chometz. well they were very excited to find one last bottle! Fortunately, a second child noticed the cap before they made the slurpees, but unfortunately it was after they poured it into the freezing bowl.May 1, 2016 6:23 pm at 6:23 pm #1150053
I don’t see why, when inviting guests, you cannot politely ask them not to bring any food along with them.May 1, 2016 8:59 pm at 8:59 pm #1150054
You can ask and ask and ask that guest not bring any food or gift, BUT people who were brought up properly do not arrive empty handed.
Thus, we tell them the menu is set, the cooking is done, but it would be very helpful if you could pick up a bag of ice. They feel they are both bringing something, helping us out, in that we don’t have to leave preparations and go shop erev Yuntif/Shabbos.
And we never have to explain that we eat this hecksher and not that, or from this bakery and not that. Or even worse, the home you think is kosher isn’t up to our standards.May 1, 2016 9:58 pm at 9:58 pm #1150055
sy: Coke is Kitniyos. Bedieved, it’s Battel B’rov.May 1, 2016 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #1150056
☕ DaasYochid ☕Participant
Sam, it would be rov of the slurpee.May 1, 2016 10:43 pm at 10:43 pm #1150057
But it wouldn’t make the bowl chometz.
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