May 19, 2014 9:52 am at 9:52 am #612813not a trollerMember
I see NASI ads in the frum papers saying gedolim suggest guys should have started dating by 22. It says gedolim but it doesn’t say any names. Anyone know who they are and how many of them say this?
And 15 years ago it was the norm for non-Chasidish yeshiva guys to start dating at 20 or 21. Many were even engaged at those ages and most guys were engaged at least by 24. So what is so radical about 22 that you need gedolim to suggest it? Why did the age of dating for guys creep up in such a short time?May 19, 2014 1:04 pm at 1:04 pm #1015747
And 15 years ago it was the norm for non-Chasidish yeshiva guys to start dating at 20 or 21.
That’s not my observation.May 19, 2014 3:52 pm at 3:52 pm #1015748nfgo3Member
Men (and women) should consider marriage when they have the financial resources (from income, family wealth, or family support) to support a family (with or without contribution from their wives). If men are marrying later, it may reflect the fact that they need more time to acquire the necessary financial resources to marry. This is a good thing.May 19, 2014 4:18 pm at 4:18 pm #1015749WolfishMusingsParticipant
By the time I turned 22, I was already married for four months.
The WolfMay 19, 2014 6:12 pm at 6:12 pm #1015750👑RebYidd23Participant
No, marriage is not a financial arrangement.May 19, 2014 7:08 pm at 7:08 pm #1015751theveryyeshivisheguyMember
The boy and his parents should decide when the best time is to start dating. Nobody should feel pressured to “start” dating because of an add. I know many boys who are 21 and are ready to get married and I know many boys who are 24 who are not ready to get married, people should make decisions based upon “their” situation.May 19, 2014 7:58 pm at 7:58 pm #1015752UtahMember
Go and ask your Rebbi when he thinks it is appropriate for you to date stop asking the coffee roomMay 20, 2014 1:18 am at 1:18 am #1015753👑RebYidd23Participant
Decide for yourself, but you are allowed to ask the coffee room.May 20, 2014 1:46 am at 1:46 am #1015754not a trollerMember
DaasYochid: We can quibble over the exact age, but do you agree with my observation that guys are getting married at an older age today than what was common 15 years ago?May 20, 2014 3:11 am at 3:11 am #1015755
No. And I don’t think a full two year difference (between your observation and mine) is mere quibbling (although I have been known to quibble).May 20, 2014 4:04 am at 4:04 am #1015756charliehallParticipant
There is an explicit mishnah that says that 18 is the age for chuppah. Not sure why we ignore it.May 20, 2014 4:15 am at 4:15 am #1015757May 20, 2014 5:13 am at 5:13 am #1015758
Charlie, you are in agreement with R’ Chaim Kanievsky. However, there were gedolim who felt, as Utah seems to be saying, that the mishnah was referring only to those who are ready to get married, and that it’s rare to find an eighteen year old boy who is.May 20, 2014 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #1015759oyyoyyoyParticipant
nafshi chashka batorahMay 20, 2014 11:40 pm at 11:40 pm #1015760
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