handling humbleness

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    yeshivishe kup

    How does one handle a situation where someone tells them they’re humble? If he/she doesn’t answer, they’ll marvel at how humble he/she is. If he/she says they aren’t humble, they’ll also be making a big deal about how humble they are. By agreeing, he/she is not being humble, yet one is supposed to be humble. I NEED HELP??


    According to the Jewish Press, when someone receives a compliment, they should just say “thank-you.” The person would be wrong to deflect the compliment; as it could offend and/or undermine the person giving the compliment.


    There’s a famous story (I forget who the two rabbonim were) where one Rov (a famous tzadik) was attracting an ever larger and larger congregation whereas the other rabbi in town kept losing congregants. So the Rabbi who was losing his people complained to the other Rov about him stealing his members. The popular Rov said he agrees its a problem but he doesn’t know what to do since new people keep joining his shul even though he isn’t soliciting or otherwise doing anything to try to attract them. So the other rabbi suggests to him that at his next Shabbos drasha he should admit to his congregation that he’s a nobody and not worthy of being their rov.

    So he agreed to this plan, v’kach hava, that Shabbos he cried during his drasha and told everyone he really was nothing special and unworthy of such a large congregation given his not being a great person, etcetera. But lo and behold the next Shabbos his shul doubles in size and more people than ever before join his Kehila and accept him as their rov.

    The next week the other rabbi comes complaining to him more bitter than ever that instead of fixing the problem he took away more people than ever. The ever popular Rov said he doesn’t know what more he could do. He tried to discourage people from coming and instead they thought he was being supremely humble and now even more people were joining him.

    So the other rabbi tells him he has a solution. The next Shabbos he should announce what a great Rabbi and tzadik he is and that’ll scare away some of the people. To that the Rov responded he cannot do. “I may be no tzadik, but a liar I certainly am not!”


    Just say whatever or tell them to tell it to you spouse and get on with your life.


    say Im humbled by your compliment

    Lilmod Ulelamaid

    Reminds me of the story with a Godol (I think it was the Brisker Rav). When he was a kid, his father asked him who the smartest (or most learned) kid in his class was. He responded, “I don’t know how to answer. If I say that it’s me, I’ll be a baal gaavah. But if I say that it’s not me, then I’ll be a liar.” His father responded, “You are a baal gaavah and a liar!”


    I am humbled that you are all writing about me I feel so humbled you really did not need to

    Little Froggie

    If you’re truly want anivus, understand how lacking you are from your true potential. How small and insignificant you are compared or when in the presence of the creator. You’d feel foolish by their praising you, even by their calling you an anav. And that feeling is true anivus.

    The mashal to understand this, I once hear (forgot where/who) goes like this:

    There was once this spittle of a village who’s inhabitants were all boors, all, no a single one could read the printed word. One day a farmer from the next village chanced by, he actually knew how to read. He started showing these folks when to Holidays were, a bit of prayer etc. Slowly he moved in and became the official “Rabbi”. So it went for many a year, this “Rabbi” (of a farmer) was accorded great honor, and he used to “teach” his crowd how to read siddur, read a calendar etc.

    One day a world renowned (real) Rabbi passed through this village. This town Rabbi, who knew his own worth, came out to greet this visiting giant, while these boors ignored him and continued heaping praise on their “Rabbi”.

    How this “Rabbi” wished to sink into the ground. The very praise they sang humiliated and mortified him so!!!

    That is how a true anav should feel when one is praised.


    Depending on who it is, you’re a great teacher, you taught me well etc.

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