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What does it mean when people say, “I told him nicely – he didn’t get insulted” Whats the diffrence how you said it?
Nicely.
How do you know he didnt get insulted?
respectfully
Sac asks right… How DO you KNOW he didn’t get insulted?
You don’t know if s/he got insulted, but you want to justify yourself so you say, “I said it nicely…”
Unless heshe is a very good acteress you can usually tell when a person takes it easily or not
I take insults “nicely,” but am still insulted. I believe in not responding in kind. There is no such things as a nice insult. Perhaps a better expression is, I gave a helpful suggestion, and it was not taken the wrong way.
The point is you always have to be thinking 100 steps ahead of your mouth moving.
I think its more to reassure themselves that what / the way they said was justified (even if they tore a hole in the persons heart)
yeah and saying no offense before, does not make it okay to say whatever you were going to say.
Sacrilege
100 steps? I think 1 or 2 steps is more than most humans can hack.
WIY
Well I’ve installed the Filter 10K on my mouth, since at any given moment thousands of things are pouring into my brain and are begging to be said.
“The point is you always have to be thinking 100 steps ahead of your mouth moving. “
Yep – put the brain in gauge before outting the mouth in gear.
“So how are we supposed to give constructive critisism? “
First, make sure your criticism is both warranted AND constructive. I have a friend who loves to criticize everyone and anyone, because she is absolutely convinced she knows what is best for them. She is rarely correct.
Sacrilege
“Well I’ve installed the Filter 10K on my mouth, since at any given moment thousands of things are pouring into my brain and are begging to be said.”
I never understood people like that. I wish I could be more that way. I am not this big shmoozer in real life. Not for lack of what to say, but maybe lack of interest in socializing. Who knows.
Sacrilege
Does your mouth tend to get you in trouble in real life?
WIY
Neither am I, maybe that filter is a bit too strong maybe I should down grade.
I’m trying to think of a situation where the title of this thread would not come from speaking about other people in a way that’s not l’toeles.
“So how are we supposed to give constructive critisism? “
The point is you don’t have to!
WIY
No, not really.
Maybe when I was younger. I would always butt in to the adult conversations with snappy one liners and they would get a kick out of it, but I have since matured 🙂
In “real” life I dont usually voice my opinion, I guess thats why I like commenting in the CR. I mean, at work obviously I do.
I dont like confrontation, and my family is pretty competative in that way so I usually back down quickly and dont push the issue or I dont get in on the big ‘fiery’ debates at all unless directly asked for my *expert* opinion 😉
Sacrilege
I take it you are one of the younger ones in your family and therefore let everyone older say their piece.
At home I voice my opinion, but in public I usually don’t because not everyone can handle the truth…the opinions I express here I could never express in public with most people.
WIY
Not so much… I am the second to oldest.
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