November 30, 2011 1:14 am at 1:14 am #600902supergirl613Member
Okay so I know this girl and she is being really rude and mean to me and I want to tell her nicely to please stop being mean to me. She keeps telling me these hurtful comments and she won’t stop no matter how many times I tell her to. I’m not a mean person and I don’t want to start being one. So please someone help me!November 30, 2011 2:06 am at 2:06 am #831055golden momMember
distace urself from here y would u hang out w herNovember 30, 2011 2:17 am at 2:17 am #8310562scentsParticipant
Talk to someone who knows both of you.
Sounds likes she is jealous of you.
Best thing would be to be open to her. Nothing much to loose and lots to gain.
Just mine 2scentsNovember 30, 2011 3:00 am at 3:00 am #831057soliekMember
pretend she doesnt exist…?November 30, 2011 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #831058TheGoqParticipant
If shes a classmate and shes harassing you at school i would bring to the attention of the teacher/principal, or you could just ask her why she is being mean to you perhaps there’s a misunderstanding that you don’t know about I’m guessing someone said some lashon harah about you and that resulted in her being mean.November 30, 2011 4:20 pm at 4:20 pm #831060JotharMember
Swiped from elsewhere:
Here are eight simple steps you can take right now to stop a bully:
Take it seriously.
When a bullys tactics cross the line, take the actions seriously. Typical warning signs include withdrawal, unexplained injuries, or becoming afraid to go to work or school. If the bullying is happening to someone close to you, address these signs with the person as soon as you notice them. If you are the victim, find someone to talk with about what is happening. Left ignored, the bullying will likely escalate.
Use your voice.
Workplace and schoolhouse bullies would prefer to keep their actions under the radar so they may continue. However, one of the most effective ways to stop bullying is to report the bullys actions to others. Be specific so the person receiving the information understands what is occurring and its impact on you or the victim.
Dont bully back.
This is a no-win deal. Often times, the bully is looking for an aggressive response so they can increase their bullying perhaps with even more force and violence. As stated before, the best bet is to alert others to what is happening.
Adults who are being bullied can enforce some boundaries. For example, if you find yourself being bullied by a co-worker, or even a supervisor, tell the bully if the behavior doesnt stop then you will report him or her to the human resources department.
Dont take it personally.
What motivates a bully is usually an issue or a limitation the bully feels insecure with. Bullies target others to feel better about themselves. Even though being on the receiving-end of a bullys wrath is unpleasant, as well as unsafe, remember its not about you; of anything you did wrong. When helping another person through their experience with a bully, remind them of their worth and value and to ignore the harsh name calling being fired at them.
Move past the shame.
Bullies will think they can continue the bullying because their victim may be too ashamed to say anything. When I was a child, the bullies taunted me about my speech impediment and the fact I had to wear eyeglasses two things that brought me shame regardless if I was being bullied, or not. The bullying only exacerbated my shame. Now as an adult, I know the playground bullies from my past were motivated by their own shame. If you are a victim, understand the internalized guilt you feel belongs to the person bullying you. Give the shame back to the bully. When you do, you will begin to feel the power you do have.
Look for trends.
Bullies have patterns. At work, if you notice your boss is more aggressive just before an important meeting, then avoid these meetings, or least your interactions with your boss beforehand. If your child reports the bully is more hostile on the school bus, then consider alternative ways to get your child to school. Bullies adopt habits and trends. Becoming more aware of these trends, and then developing a plan to counter them, will put you in a better position to stop the bullying.
Use common sense when online.
Guard your passwords and the passwords of your children. Be discerning when considering if your elementary or middle school-aged child may create Facebook or email accounts. Limit social media friend requests and other contacts to only those people with whom you have positive relationship with offline. Watch the amount of time your child is spending online and monitor their emotions and behaviors afterwards.
Bullies can leave scars that last a lifetime. My goal is to keep my son safe and to provide the tools he needs. My hope is with the school year ending soon; the bullying will end with it. By helping him deal with his bully now, may prevent the scars he doesnt deserve.November 30, 2011 4:33 pm at 4:33 pm #831061TheGoqParticipant
Great piece Jothar thank you.November 30, 2011 4:59 pm at 4:59 pm #831062BTGuyParticipant
There is a lot of valuable information to be had from Jothar’s post. It helped me, too, to read what he posted.
Too often we have to deal with difficult people and we want to be very easy going about it by being nice. However, with some people, they see our decency as a weakness and we put our own feelings on the backburner for the one who is doing the bullying, and tolerate more than we should.
Nice post Jothar!
Hatzlacha supergirl13!! Know we are on your side and with you on this!November 30, 2011 5:50 pm at 5:50 pm #831063flowersParticipant
Supergirl: what happens if you simply tell her “that’s a mean thing to say”? or “what a nasty thing to say”? But don’t say it like you’re hurt. Say it strongly with confidence.November 30, 2011 7:46 pm at 7:46 pm #831064JotharMember
Btguy, thanks for the kind words.December 1, 2011 1:48 am at 1:48 am #831065supergirl613Member
Flowers: i told her i was like are you saying this to be mean? and she said no and then she goes criticizing me again. I don’t see this girl everyday as she is not in my school, but when I do see her, I don’t want things to be bad between us. she’s a great girl but all of the sudden she just started being rude to me.
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